improved lovemaking

How do I get my wife to be more active in our lovemaking? We have been married for a while and it seems that she has settled into a routine. We only ever use one position. I would like a little more variety. Our lovemaking is frankly boring.

Karma Sutra

Just throwing a couple thnigs out there, sorry if I offend:

It is often said that one who complains about boring sex has a partner who feels the same way...

Also, I would advise you to focus on what you could change to make YOURSELF a better lover and how YOU can please HER better. Trust me, focus on her needs and all of yours will be met.

I'd have to wholeheartedly agree with FervidPrincess! Can't imagine a woman who could resist a truly romantic man's attentions!

I was one of those "very boring" women for many years . . so uptight and had so many weird ideas about lovemaking, what was right and what was sin. It's been a real journey to loosen up and enjoy it, and now we've switched roles, sorta . . I am the one wanting it more, wishing for more! So don't give up!

The best solution is to talk about it . . NOT an easy thing for most couples, I think. But be ready to be willing to try new things if you ask her what she'd like and honestly want to know. It's very hard to have your husband tell you he wants to know how to please you, work up your courage to actually put your wishes into words and communicate them to him, and then have him refuse to follow up on your suggestions . . *sighs*

Have you tried reading any good books about lovemaking? There are a ton of them out there, naturally, but you'll have to talk it out and decide what you're BOTH willing to try, and never try to force the other into something they're not comfortable with.

*Considers carefully before saying this* It could be that she is only able to come to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] the one way she has settled into . . it's such a difficult thing for many of us women, and once you find a way that works, you almost hate to deviate from it.

I guess one other thing: sometimes indulging in arousing influences (for example, porn) will cause dissatisfaction . . I'm not suggesting you are, it was just an afterthought. If you truly love each other, I would hope you'd eventually find a workable solution, and BOTH of you will be happier!

Do you have children? It could be that your wife is tired out and the last thing she wants to do when she goes to bed is have sex. Maybe a romantic holiday away from the kids is what is needed to put a bit of the sparkle back into your sex life!

The number one goal is to drive the wife crazy. When she has fun, you have fun.

Aawwwww mannnnn . . lucky HER!

Mr.Cheese said:

The number one goal is to drive the wife crazy. When she has fun, you have fun.

Click to expand...

Yep and yep.

Mr.Cheese said:

The number one goal is to drive the wife crazy. When she has fun, you have fun.

Click to expand...

Amen to that Mr Cheese!

bstar said:

How do I get my wife to be more active in our lovemaking? We have been married for a while and it seems that she has settled into a routine. We only ever use one position. I would like a little more variety. Our lovemaking is frankly boring.

Click to expand...

Every relationship should have a fun healthy sex life in my opinion. Maybe you should be more aggressive.. Tell her what your needs are!

FOREPLAY!

Have you tried initiating new positions, maybe ease into it by doing something different that she is comfortable with- and best to suggest this when she is really "in the mood" not just doing it to do it.

Get a guide on how to do it. Not a christian one they tend to be a bit limited. The secular ones tell you things that the Christian ones dare not. You don't have to follow all their suggestions but you would be surprised what you did not know about your own body
One of the most important things to remember about women is that they don't think the world revolves around sex. When you do figure out what makes the world revolve for them then they feel more like sex if not they don't as often. Try to remember all the things you did when you were dating. They are more important than you may realise.

Rub her feet, hands, or back but without expecting anything in return. Sometimes we forget how powerful touch can be. It doesn't have to sexual to create a spark. You may not reap the rewards of this for a little while. Women (like myself ) love knowing that our husband's touch is there as a tool for comfort, adoration, and for pleasure....and then we really get going sexually.


But then I'm newly married too! So if I didn't quite capture it, well, it's because I'm a romantic newbie!