Impossible To Trust God!

[kaykay9.0]

Oh gosh yes...hit the nail on the head...though this morning I managed to spike when he did something nice - I think it was a confirmation that the times he does something I freak out about are real and not just OCD if that makes sense. Imagine looking at something under a huge microscope...well that's what I do with him. It can be anything from something which may well be not the nicest thing he could do right through to a nuance of tone! It's horrible...really, really horrible...I feel bad about the God stuff but nothing causes more hideous feelings than the relationship stuff! Which is bad cos God should matter more! Thanks for understanding! Hugs, Rachel

Well, all I can tell you is that my own husband is a very Godly man but he certainly has some flaws. No one can stand under that "microscope" kind of scrutiny!

 

[RachelZ]

No I know...I know that microscopes can show you things so they're bigger...they can also distort and make something good look wierd or ugly! Thanks again...take care, Rachel

 

[annrobert]

Rachel,
I am sorry that you are going through this.I know is an horrible thing to go through.Jesus mercy is always there for us no matter what we may think.Just like our mercy and love and care for our children is always there for them no matter what and if they are struggling or hurting or confused or even if they were to doubt our love, when they are hurting our love and compassion and tender care for them goes even stronger and our protective feelings for them gets stronger, when they are sick we take more time for them and give them even more comfort and that is how Jesus is with us.The more we are hurting or confused or suffering with ocd the more protective Jesus will be with us and He will have compassion us and help us through.
I know what you mean about feeling scared of God's judgement and I know how aweful it is but Jesus does understand and care.I hope all the terror and fear eases up for you Rachel.
blessings
annrobert

 

[RachelZ]

Thanks Annerobert for your post...and sorry I haven't replied before! It's helpful to know you understand...do you mind me asking how you got to a place where you can sound so confident in God's love for us being like a really good Dad's? No worries if you'd rather not say. Many thanks again and I hope you're feeling at least a bit better, Rachel

 

[annrobert]

Hi Rachel,
I will send you a pm message about this okay.
Jesus bless you Rachel
annrobert

 

[RachelZ]

Many thanks, Rachel