Impending divorce it seems

[MKLEO]

Well, I've been with my wife for almost 11 years now, 6 of which I was married to her.

To make a long story short we separated back in february for about 6 months and decided we could work it out. Unfortunately it seems that wasn't a good idea at all because as of yesterday (ya, Christmas Eve) she left me again taking our 3 year old son with her. I don't know if the time apart drove us even further apart or what but it seems that we just can't get along to save our lives. No matter what each of us does the other has a problem with it.

I'm at a loss.........kind of. I love her and wish things could work out but at this point I don't really know if I want things to work out. I'm spent, tired, slap wore out with this. I can't imagine another man spending more time with my son than me but I know that's a reality. She won't be unmarried long at all. That's something I'm positive of.

So anyway, I'll take all the prayer, guidance, and advice available and go from here I guess.

Side note-Since leaving Florida last year and moving back home to Missouri we have yet to find a home church and attend regularly. She is in the process of quiting her job which required her to work only weekends and I'm a police officer so I work every other weekend.

I know the answer in short is to pray and get involved in church but I don't know if it's even in me to try anymore.

Thanks.

 

[JPPT1974]

Lord please intervene in this situation
Help all of these people
Grant and give them peace and mercy
That this police officer will get to see his son
And that you will answer the prayers to these two
To seek counseling & Christian help if warranted
In thy name and will, help them to lean on you.

 

[JacobsDream]

Bro, it might not be in you to try anymore, but thats where God comes in. The bible says that we rejoice when we're weak because His strength shows in our weakness.

Secondly, you are committing this to God and the eventual outcome will favor you.

I think your priority right now is getting both of them back, not just the kid. Obviosly, your efforts haven't panned out so let God take it from here. He has the key to every heart and knows what it takes to change anybody. Remain encouraged, knowing that God'll take care of you.

Father, we commit this marriage into your hands. There's not a battle that you have lost, none that has trusted you that you've abandoned. This is hard for him but you are willing and able to come through for him. He is trusting you and he will not be disappointed.
Touch his wife's heart today to repent, reconcile them in you. You proved with Pharoah that you make the mind gullible and stubborn. Give him the patience and faith to trust you today. Put his family back together to the glory of your name, in Jesus name we pray, amen.

 

[hypostatic]

I'm praying for you guys and adding you to my prayerlist!

 

[covenantwmn]

I've been thru divorce, if there's any way you can save your marriage, please try. You're right, you can't do it in your own strength, Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And He will strengthen you, He is faithful. The damage divorce causes will not end when the papers are signed, you are simply trading one set of problems for many more. That said, I know from personal experience one person cannot save a marriage if the person is determined to leave.

Father God, I lift this man and his family up before You, asking You to intervene in a mighty way. I pray that You will soften hearts, bring forgiveness and mercy where needed and work a miracle. I pray that this little one be spared the effects that divorce brings and that because of You in years to come they can look back with grateful hearts to the God that saved thier lives together. Thank You Lord that in You we have hope when there seems to be none, in Jesus' name, amen.
in Him, Leslie

 

[BishopGodsey]

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[MKLEO]

Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers everyone!

I sent her a text message last night asking her if she'd be willing to go to church with me and seek counseling but so far no answer. I'm afraid she's more disinterested in our marriage than I am.

 

[FreedIntheLord]

Just a wild idea that came to me, why not try taking her on a date and pamper her instead of working on the marriage. Sometimes we work to hard at relationships. Maybe some fun? Remember how it used to be? God Bless and know I am praying for your marriage. Put it in God's hands.

 

[eturner74]

I will keep all of you in my prayers

 

[fieldlily]

You need time to heal and adjust, but keep up that praying and read God's Word even though you don't feel like it. Meanwhile trust that God will never leave nor forsake you. As for church...maybe not getting overly involved in a lot of activities for a while a good idea..but you will need fellowship and support. So reaching out is good. Maybe a talk with a pastor or Christian counselor would help.

My prayers for you. In the Name of Jesus...

 

[MKLEO]

Just a wild idea that came to me, why not try taking her on a date and pamper her instead of working on the marriage. Sometimes we work to hard at relationships. Maybe some fun? Remember how it used to be? God Bless and know I am praying for your marriage. Put it in God's hands.

That's a great idea and something I've done but it seems no matter what I do it's not good enough or the right way or how she'd like it to be or on and on and on.

I've come to a point where for once I'd like for someone to show me that they care about me too, not just me showing my love. I tend to keep emotion and feelings hidden (you know, the cop thing) but I do have them and although I may not cry in public it doesn't mean that my heart's not broken.

There's so much to the story as you all probably can imagine but it would take a long time to tell and I won't bore you with that. The fact of the matter is that we've both made mistakes and I freely admit them and own up to them. For some reason she absolutely refuses to admit any wrongdoing until we've had a knock down drag out argument. I just don't get it.

I'm convinced (and pretty sure she is too) that I just can't make her happy anymore and that's the point where I begin to say "OK, I've had enough too so let's just move on".

 

[stsieki]

I am in agreement with everyone...when we can't.... God can. Brother Man...hang in there...we don't know the outcome....but we do know that you are loved. Stay true to God...and trust in Him throughout regardless.
Father I ask In Jesus precious name that you give my brother strength and wisdom throughout this trial.....show him Your love and Grace, so that he too may become an instrument of love and grace...In your name I pray ...Amen

 

[free4all]

Hi MKLEO,

Sorry to hear of your situation. Have you found the Marriage Ministry section? There are several forums there that may be of help to you. There is an Unequally Yoked forum, although that may not apply to you.

What part of MO are you in? Anywhere near St. Louis?

Thanks for your work as a police officer. Although we know our protection ultimately is from God, He often uses established authorities to protect us. And I know you must often see people at their worst. Thanks.

free4all

 

[MKLEO]

Hi MKLEO,

Sorry to hear of your situation. Have you found the Marriage Ministry section? There are several forums there that may be of help to you. There is an Unequally Yoked forum, although that may not apply to you.

What part of MO are you in? Anywhere near St. Louis?

Thanks for your work as a police officer. Although we know our protection ultimately is from God, He often uses established authorities to protect us. And I know you must often see people at their worst. Thanks.

free4all

Thanks for the kind words regarding my work. I love it.

I'm about 90 miles south of St Louis.

I spoke with her just a short time ago and although she did say she would like to get back into church she also said she didn't think we could afford to lose her income at the hospital which would mean she wouldn't go to church. She planned on leaving the hospital when she left me and working a M-F job because she said she could afford to do that on her own but not married to me. It seems to me that she's trying to justify leaving me and at times even trying to convince me that this is the best thing for us. I don't buy it. I don't think divorce is the best thing for a three year old little boy to go through.

Anyway, thanks again everyone for your prayers. I haven't visited the site much since I registered but I'm going to try to hang around more.

Off to bed I go........night shift tonight.

 

[FreedIntheLord]

My heart goes out to you. We don't have the answers, but God does. I pray He will change her heart. Not a lot of good single men out there. (I don't mean you men here on this site!) She will have a hard time finding another that loves her as you do.

 

[Im-revived]

Hey I know were your coming from! I'm divorced, he has 2 of the kids, luckily I have the 3rd, all I can say to you love is you really have tried, even to the point of getting back together before to try again. My yes personal feeling would say to pray and go to church, but seriously it didn't work for me, I have only recently got divorced, because I decided I'd tried for years, I'd prayed everything like you, but when theres no answer returning I came to the conclusion God really wants me out of there. Many disagree with divorce but personally when you've coninued to try and not succeeding then start a new life. You have a child involved also like I have, the courts will allow you to see your child. I will be praying for guidance for you.

Lord this situation seems at a dead end, even after trying, I ask you will do all the guiding in the next steps, whichever way it turns out. Amen

Im-revived

Well, I've been with my wife for almost 11 years now, 6 of which I was married to her.

To make a long story short we separated back in february for about 6 months and decided we could work it out. Unfortunately it seems that wasn't a good idea at all because as of yesterday (ya, Christmas Eve) she left me again taking our 3 year old son with her. I don't know if the time apart drove us even further apart or what but it seems that we just can't get along to save our lives. No matter what each of us does the other has a problem with it.

I'm at a loss.........kind of. I love her and wish things could work out but at this point I don't really know if I want things to work out. I'm spent, tired, slap wore out with this. I can't imagine another man spending more time with my son than me but I know that's a reality. She won't be unmarried long at all. That's something I'm positive of.

So anyway, I'll take all the prayer, guidance, and advice available and go from here I guess.

Side note-Since leaving Florida last year and moving back home to Missouri we have yet to find a home church and attend regularly. She is in the process of quiting her job which required her to work only weekends and I'm a police officer so I work every other weekend.

I know the answer in short is to pray and get involved in church but I don't know if it's even in me to try anymore.

Thanks.

 

[JacobsDream]

You need to completely put things into God's hands patiently. Obviosly you can't change her yourself. Don't be so worried about loosing her for good that you don't give God a chance.
Divorce is inevitable in many a case BUT, you're obviosly not at that point, you're not divorced yet. She doesn't want you around more than she has a reason to leave you.
Your marriage is safe in God's hands. Commit it to Him. His timetable might not coincide with yours but you know for a fact He won't leave you out in the cold.
You gotta trust him now or your efforts towards her will frustrate you even more. Its tough to trust Him yes, but you can.
Get some sleep bro.

 

[MKLEO]

I wish I had found this place a lot sooner than I did! All the words of encouragement have helped me over the last day and lo and behold guess who came home today crying and humbling herself?!!! She talked to her father who is president of the local christian motorcyclists association and I guess he explained things to her in a way she could understand.

She is putting her notice in at work so she'll have Sundays off so we can go to church! We'll go back to having Bible studies together, listening to Christian music together, and soaking ourselves in things of the Lord!

Thanks again everybody!

 

[covenantwmn]

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!! Sometimes He answers fast!!! I'm so happy for you, be patient tho, whatever caused this won't go away all by itself, but at least together, with the LORD, you can work thru everything. I am just thanking the LORD for this answer to prayer!!!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!
in Him, Leslie

 

[JacobsDream]

How about that for instant action!!
GLORY TO GOD