I'm wondering...

[Jason05]

Hi... I'm just wondering what everyone else thinks about this. I have really attractive female friends that aren't in relationships at all and I'm wondering why many of the attractive females I see and know aren't in relationships. I mean, is it that they know that they're attractive and therefore want to "mess around"? I know it's a personal response kind of thing too, but in general, has anyone else noticed this? Even with us guys sometimes I notice that we don't get into relationships cause we think we are the "IT" item and therefore want to stay on the market for sometime longer so we don't have to commit... heh.

-Jason05-

 

[jenptcfan]

It's probably different for everyone. I think sometimes really beautiful, successful, great girls intimidate guys.

And beauty isn't everything, you know. It could be that the girls you're seeing are pretty on the outside, but have issues on the inside.

You don't mention how old you are. It could be that the girls you know aren't interested in being in relationship because they aren't ready for marriage and don't see a point in dating without being ready for the next step.

There are tons of reasons, really.

I'm a very independent sort and have high standards (most of them are character traits) that I look for in a guy. If a guy doesn't seem to have the "whole picture", I'll pass him by. I don't feel like I HAVE to be in a relationship, and I have faith that God has someone special he wants me to spend my life with. I don't see a point in wasting time with Mr. Notquiteright when Mr. Right could be lurking just around the corner.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Jason, either they are wierd or waiting for a real man to come along.

 

[jenptcfan]

They're weird? Have you ever been a woman or been inside one's head? How do you know?

I think that's a really strong statement which makes it sound like you're saying "There are only two reasons a cute girl wouldn't be in a relationship: they're weird, or they're waiting on a real man!" I sure hope that's not what you meant because that would mean that if a girl is taking time away from being in relationships because she's trying to mature into a Godly woman or allow God to heal a past hurt, that means she's weird...

Anyway, I hope you're joking. I just don't like to see a group labled as weird.

 

[Living4Him03]

I think maybe some girls are waiting for someone "better" than their current selection of guys and may overlook the great guys right in front of them. Sometimes it is because they are shy and guys are looking for the chatty Cathy types who look like Jessica Simpson and are perfect Christians, etc. I think some guys just have too high of expectations, which leads the eligible women alone. Throughout my life, I have rarely ever had a guy approach me to even just get to know me. Maybe I'm intimidating, too shy, I really don't know. It is frustrating, because you wonder if there is something wrong with you. I think I'm an attractive woman who has many great qualities and I think I'm a good girlfriend, but maybe the first impression guys get from me does not tell them that. Maybe that's the case with your friends, or it's simply not the right time for them to date someone.

 

[Jason05]

Well, I'm not saying just physically attractive... I mean like intellectually and spiritually attractive also (of course physical beauty doesn't last). I mean, do those factors work into why anyone wouldn't be in a relationship? Like I said, I know that sometimes us guys think that we're the "IT" item and therefore to keep the "machoness", we stay out of relationships. I have a lot of females friends who are way way way attractive on those levels and its just a wonder on why they aren't "snatched" yet, I guess. I mean, have you ever met someone who was just super attractive from the inside and it's just as apparent on the outside how beautiful they are? Oh and by the way, I'm 21.

 

[nicodemus]

As my dad always says.... "You can never really know what's going on inside a person."

 

[charligirl]

Perhaps they just haven't met the right one yet and don't want to date for the sake of it!

I was single for 9 years before I married last year, I know that I intimidated men because I was quite capable, independent, outgoing and attractive, men told me they were scared to approach me. I certainly didn't want to 'mess around' or not commit, I just did not meet A SINGLE eligable christian guy who was right or even interested during those 9 years!!

 

[KristiXP]

Hi... I'm just wondering what everyone else thinks about this. I have really attractive female friends that aren't in relationships at all and I'm wondering why many of the attractive females I see and know aren't in relationships. I mean, is it that they know that they're attractive and therefore want to "mess around"? I know it's a personal response kind of thing too, but in general, has anyone else noticed this? Even with us guys sometimes I notice that we don't get into relationships cause we think we are the "IT" item and therefore want to stay on the market for sometime longer so we don't have to commit... heh.

-Jason05-

Wow, the last thing I would have thought of was that they wanted to stay single so they could go fool around with whatever guy they want. Maybe they want to stay single. Maybe they're not ready for a relationship and they know that.

I personally think a person is a little too full of themself if they believe that they are the IT item. No one should be an item anyhow, but thinking you are all that and thensome is just going to get a person into trouble.

 

[LadyBird]

Perhaps, they are waiting for the right guy. Maybe they don't want to date/have a realationship...maybe they are not ready...who knows. Whatever reason it is, it's a person decision that should be respected. Who cares if attractive people aren't dating, I don't. It's none of my business.

 

[katelyn]

Well, I'm not saying just physically attractive... I mean like intellectually and spiritually attractive also (of course physical beauty doesn't last).

If you think they are spiritually mature, then there's no reason to assume that they are interested in fooling around.

 

[dawnmo]

Jason, either they are wierd or waiting for a real man to come along.

I hope you are joking.

I'm not gorgeous, but I'm not ugly either, and yet I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not too weird and I am definitely not waiting for a "real man" to come along. I am happy being where I am, and I don't have any desire to get into a relationship right now, if ever.

For the OP:

There could be a whole ton of reasons. Maybe they don't want to get into a relationship right now. Maybe they're scared of commitment. Maybe they want to concentrate on God or their career or their schooling. Maybe they haven't met anyone that sparks their interest. Maybe they're still hurting from past relationships. Maybe they aren't ready for marriage and don't want to date until they do. Maybe they have a crush on someone. I guess the only way you could know for sure is to ask!

 

[LifeInYou]

Well, I'm not saying just physically attractive... I mean like intellectually and spiritually attractive also

Hmm...if they are intellectually and spiritually attractive then of course their motive for waiting to date is not so they can just mess/play around with guys, right? Then again, intellectual and spiritual attractiveness IS subjective, heh.

 

[LifeInYou]

lol, sorry, didn't read through all of the posts, heh. I was thinking the very thing Katelyn was thinking.

 

[LadyBird]

If you think they are spiritually mature, then there's no reason to assume that they are interested in fooling around.

Great point Katelyn!!! I totally agree... ,