Hey guys,I just need to vent a little.I am new to this forum I posted my stuggle w/ OCD a couple of weeks ago under my story. by the way I've never be "formally diagnosed" w/ OCD.The way this disorder manifests w/ me is through intrusive,UNWANTED,blasphemous thoughts.I am tired of feeling like an outsider in the Body christ. I am tired of Doubting God's love for me.I am tired of these thoughts I hate them w/ a pasion the thoughts. They come between me an the God I want to love and serve.The other night I read posts on this forum on this topic OCD from all the way back to Jan, of 07 and became sad to hear the hurt of you all my bothers and sisters in christ.And believe me I understand .To me unless you've gone through this it's hard to explain to others.Even though I am not obssesing as much right now. and my emotions are ok, partly because of meds,and because part of me some times believes that this is the OCD producing these thougths.I am tired of it I'm 44yrs old I've been struggling w/ this since I was 18. and times I have felt cheated, because I've always Have lived w/ doubt about my salvation among other things.Until 4 yrs ago I didn't even know what ocd really was. Thanks to this forum that i " stumbled"upon a month ago I 've learned alot about this disorder and about my own experience w/ ocd. I also have recieved comfort knowing that I am not the only one going through this.forgive me and thank you for letting me vent. Renewedmind. 
Im praying for you brother
