Im suffering in both mind and physical body

[Soon996]

Im tired, really tired of living...i have posted on here about the same issue several times back then few years ago, but nothing change till this day. Im 24 and i have been suffering serious eye diseases since i was born. One of my eye is partially blind when im a teenager, another has serious high eyesight and its getting worse years by years which will lead to blindness. With this current state, i cant pursue anything i like, my carrier, my hobby, anything. As of right now, my eye is in constant pain just by opening it and looking at the computer screen just to write all of this. I know its kind of ridiculous but im writing this while closing/blinking my eye to rest for 10ish sec after each every few words. Im sad, for most people of my age or every middle age adult, i can say one of their favorite passing time must be taking out their phone, pc or any electronic device to pass their free time and having fun. But for me, i too love to do it except everytime i do it, my eye is screaming to my brain it is hurting me. And for carrier/job, most of, if not all better paying job with better future NEEDS to deal with electronic devices, who will hired a guy who refused to look at the computer screen at work or need to close your eye to rest every few sec after looking at the screen? My eyesight is so bad that with glasses, i cant even see the clear face of the people who is standing 2 meters away from me...im really tired...tired of this body. Afraid soon i will go blind and cannot take care of my parent, they will need to take care of me until their last breathe, but even so, whats next? Dying of hunger alone while i cant move freely myself?

I know there are blind people out there live just fine but I DO NOT WANT TO BE BLIND, PLEASE. I want to be able to see this colourful world until the day i die, living a normal life just like everybody else, but i guess, to be blind or not, it is not me who decide it...Up to this point, if there is a choice to exchange one of my arm or leg or anything else for a pair of healthy eye, i will do it. Im so sad, why cant i have a normal life just like a normal human being? Why is it me? I dont need to live in the big mansion, driving luxury car, i just want a normal life, you work, you go home, you sleep, get married, have child and die at the old age. Is it too much to ask? The only time im happy is when im asleep, sweet dream or nightmare i dont care, as long i dont need to worry about my eye condition. I DO visit my eye doctor annually but yea, nothing can save me up to this point, im just trying to delay the time it took for this bomb to took off in my eye.

On the side note, i may sound depressed but im not thinking about suicide, im just really angry, frustrated and sad. But i will never end my life. Im not sure what im expecting after writing all of this despise im in pain doing this, maybe a hope for miracle? When i wake up from sleep one day, my eye will be healed? I can only hope, i have been waiting for this miracle for my entire life while church member, my parent all pray for me.

I dont know will anybody actually find this and read this seems ridiculous feeling/story of mine. But anyway, i hope everyone live a happy life and God bless you.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Im tired, really tired of living...i have posted on here about the same issue several times back then few years ago, but nothing change till this day. Im 24 and i have been suffering serious eye diseases since i was born. One of my eye is partially blind when im a teenager, another has serious high eyesight and its getting worse years by years which will lead to blindness. With this current state, i cant pursue anything i like, my carrier, my hobby, anything. As of right now, my eye is in constant pain just by opening it and looking at the computer screen just to write all of this. I know its kind of ridiculous but im writing this while closing/blinking my eye to rest for 10ish sec after each every few words. Im sad, for most people of my age or every middle age adult, i can say one of their favorite passing time must be taking out their phone, pc or any electronic device to pass their free time and having fun. But for me, i too love to do it except everytime i do it, my eye is screaming to my brain it is hurting me. And for carrier/job, most of, if not all better paying job with better future NEEDS to deal with electronic devices, who will hired a guy who refused to look at the computer screen at work or need to close your eye to rest every few sec after looking at the screen? My eyesight is so bad that with glasses, i cant even see the clear face of the people who is standing 2 meters away from me...im really tired...tired of this body. Afraid soon i will go blind and cannot take care of my parent, they will need to take care of me until their last breathe, but even so, whats next? Dying of hunger alone while i cant move freely myself?

I know there are blind people out there live just fine but I DO NOT WANT TO BE BLIND, PLEASE. I want to be able to see this colourful world until the day i die, living a normal life just like everybody else, but i guess, to be blind or not, it is not me who decide it...Up to this point, if there is a choice to exchange one of my arm or leg or anything else for a pair of healthy eye, i will do it. Im so sad, why cant i have a normal life just like a normal human being? Why is it me? I dont need to live in the big mansion, driving luxury car, i just want a normal life, you work, you go home, you sleep, get married, have child and die at the old age. Is it too much to ask? The only time im happy is when im asleep, sweet dream or nightmare i dont care, as long i dont need to worry about my eye condition. I DO visit my eye doctor annually but yea, nothing can save me up to this point, im just trying to delay the time it took for this bomb to took off in my eye.

On the side note, i may sound depressed but im not thinking about suicide, im just really angry, frustrated and sad. But i will never end my life. Im not sure what im expecting after writing all of this despise im in pain doing this, maybe a hope for miracle? When i wake up from sleep one day, my eye will be healed? I can only hope, i have been waiting for this miracle for my entire life while church member, my parent all pray for me.

I dont know will anybody actually find this and read this seems ridiculous feeling/story of mine. But anyway, i hope everyone live a happy life and God bless you.

I pray Lord that You will give eye salve to this person the He may see You Lord. And mostly that You comfort him in his blessing to us.

 

[NBB]

Sorry to hear that, what medics say about that?, if doctors can't help... you should pray to God until you get healed it can pass a lot of time or not i don't know, but if i were you i will be desperate to ask God for healing insisting until it gets done, but you need to insist, fast a little maybe, if God doesn't heal you right away, that time in prayer will get you closer to God, so seek him a lot, he can give you comfort too, but we need to pray and seek, he created the universe so i'm not joking around he can heal too, i know God exists and does things to his childs he has done so many things to me.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Im tired, really tired of living...i have posted on here about the same issue several times back then few years ago, but nothing change till this day. Im 24 and i have been suffering serious eye diseases since i was born. One of my eye is partially blind when im a teenager, another has serious high eyesight and its getting worse years by years which will lead to blindness. With this current state, i cant pursue anything i like, my carrier, my hobby, anything. As of right now, my eye is in constant pain just by opening it and looking at the computer screen just to write all of this. I know its kind of ridiculous but im writing this while closing/blinking my eye to rest for 10ish sec after each every few words. Im sad, for most people of my age or every middle age adult, i can say one of their favorite passing time must be taking out their phone, pc or any electronic device to pass their free time and having fun. But for me, i too love to do it except everytime i do it, my eye is screaming to my brain it is hurting me. And for carrier/job, most of, if not all better paying job with better future NEEDS to deal with electronic devices, who will hired a guy who refused to look at the computer screen at work or need to close your eye to rest every few sec after looking at the screen? My eyesight is so bad that with glasses, i cant even see the clear face of the people who is standing 2 meters away from me...im really tired...tired of this body. Afraid soon i will go blind and cannot take care of my parent, they will need to take care of me until their last breathe, but even so, whats next? Dying of hunger alone while i cant move freely myself?

I know there are blind people out there live just fine but I DO NOT WANT TO BE BLIND, PLEASE. I want to be able to see this colourful world until the day i die, living a normal life just like everybody else, but i guess, to be blind or not, it is not me who decide it...Up to this point, if there is a choice to exchange one of my arm or leg or anything else for a pair of healthy eye, i will do it. Im so sad, why cant i have a normal life just like a normal human being? Why is it me? I dont need to live in the big mansion, driving luxury car, i just want a normal life, you work, you go home, you sleep, get married, have child and die at the old age. Is it too much to ask? The only time im happy is when im asleep, sweet dream or nightmare i dont care, as long i dont need to worry about my eye condition. I DO visit my eye doctor annually but yea, nothing can save me up to this point, im just trying to delay the time it took for this bomb to took off in my eye.

On the side note, i may sound depressed but im not thinking about suicide, im just really angry, frustrated and sad. But i will never end my life. Im not sure what im expecting after writing all of this despise im in pain doing this, maybe a hope for miracle? When i wake up from sleep one day, my eye will be healed? I can only hope, i have been waiting for this miracle for my entire life while church member, my parent all pray for me.

I dont know will anybody actually find this and read this seems ridiculous feeling/story of mine. But anyway, i hope everyone live a happy life and God bless you.

Where are you that you can’t get medical help?

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

Father I pray that you heal this child of yours in such obvious pain and torture.

 

[Soon996]

Where are you that you can’t get medical help?

It’s not that i cant, it’s impossible. People usually undergo laser surgery to cure short sighted. But mine is way over the threshold, my eye is very fragile and ages, it’s is even worse than my pass away 94 years old grandma’s eye. Undergo the surgery will have a VERY high risk of blindness AND it wont do anything even if it succeed, nothing can be done except slowing down the time it gets for me to be blind. For your better understanding, without glasses, to read a normal size word in a normal book/magazine, i need to stick the paper/page right infront of my eyeball to read it, probably 0.5cm infront of my eyeball. And that when is im reading with one eye since the another one is partially blind, cannot see anything except the shape of something, like table, chair etc etc, anything big

 

[splish- splash]

Dear Heavenly Father, may you turn our wailing into dancing, just as you remove our sackcloth and clothe us with joy. Thank you Father, for it is done.

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

It’s not that i cant, it’s impossible. People usually undergo laser surgery to cure short sighted. But mine is way over the threshold, my eye is very fragile and ages, it’s is even worse than my pass away 94 years old grandma’s eye. Undergo the surgery will have a VERY high risk of blindness AND it wont do anything even if it succeed, nothing can be done except slowing down the time it gets for me to be blind. For your better understanding, without glasses, to read a normal size word in a normal book/magazine, i need to stick the paper/page right infront of my eyeball to read it, probably 0.5cm infront of my eyeball. And that when is im reading with one eye since the another one is partially blind, cannot see anything except the shape of something, like table, chair etc etc, anything big

I'm dreading the day when I’ll need glasses to find my glasses. What is the pain from?

 

[Soon996]

I'm dreading the day when I’ll need glasses to find my glasses. What is the pain from?

The eye dryness, the layer in front of my eye can barely keep the moisture in my eye. Eye drops do help a little , but it will still dry out after a min and so. I dont think dropping eyedrop like 30 times per hour or over hundreds per day is anything good. When im not using eye drop, i will force myself to yawn for my eye to generate tears to keep it moist, not sure its normal for everybody but when i yawn, my eye becomes teary/watery. But not just the normal moist, it’s the watery moist. So its even more harder for me to see thing, but in exchange for more confort for my eye, i dont mind...In general, i maybe 24 years old but my eye is probably 80-100 years old.

Yea, its a pain to find the glasses if i forgot where i put since i cant see it at all. But i only take off my glasses when i sleep or bath so its not a big deal

 

[Citizen of the Kingdom]

The eye dryness, the layer in front of my eye can barely keep the moisture in my eye. Eye drops do help a little , but it will still dry out after a min and so. I dont think dropping eyedrop like 30 times per hour or over hundreds per day is anything good. When im not using eye drop, i will force myself to yawn for my eye to generate tears to keep it moist, not sure its normal for everybody but when i yawn, my eye becomes teary/watery. But not just the normal moist, it’s the watery moist. So its even more harder for me to see thing, but in exchange for more confort for my eye, i dont mind...In general, i maybe 24 years old but my eye is probably 80-100 years old.

Yea, its a pain to find the glasses if i forgot where i put since i cant see it at all. But i only take off my glasses when i sleep or bath so its not a big deal

That must be rough being so young

 

[Paul4JC]

Yes we pray for healing of the eye, and also for a new medical solutions. Give grace and strength to deal with all this pain and live with these difficulties in life. Open new doors for improvement of eyesight, as only you can Lord. In Jesus name, Amen.