I'm so miserable

[the iconoclast]

I posted a few days ago about this but my obsessive thoughts are ruining my life and they have for so long

These specific thoughts started 2 weeks ago, i was laying in the bed, I had actually just finished having a great conversation about the Bible with my mom that night. Before trying to fall asleep, I was actually listening to the song "Surrounded" by Michael W Smith and thinking about how God has defended me in my battles. I have had OCD revolving around the unforgivable sin for a very long time

When I went to try to fall asleep I started getting all of these super evil OCD thoughts out of NO WHERE. I was perfectly fine then it just hit

The instrusive thoughts are like "Can you PROVE your God is the real God and not something bad?" Or things like "How do you KNOW God is telling you the truth?" I obviously do not agree with these thoughts at all, I hate them.

It seems like arguing with them tends to make them worse. I 100% believe that God is holy and true. Everytime I try to relax or think about how good God is , these thoughts come up.

I can see one little thing that triggers these evil thoughts. I'm so scared one day I might commit this sin or turn my back on God. Of course I would never do that, just the thought of the devil tricking me is so terrifying.

I just came back from a really fun trip with my family. Im not even happy, I'm just stressed again. My room is a mess, I feel like nothing I do even matters because I'm going to hell anyways

I love God, I have felt His love and His goodness, I trust Him, He's done so much for me and given me such a great family and friends. Why would I have these doubting thoughts about Him????

I usually just tell my OCD "God has been good to me, I believe His word. " sometimes it goes away, some times not. I just don't ever want to be tricked by the devil and believe some lie and go to hell. I just want to bawl and cry.

I tell my mom about this and she is very helpful but she doesn't understand OCD and just tells me to let go if the fear. How can I not be afraid for my eternal soul?? She says no one can pluck me from God's hand, but what if I commit that sin? Ive read its not possible for a christian to commit that sin, but is that true?

I wish I could go back in time to the way I felt before that day. Please pray for me, please offer me your advice, I just need help

Hey hey brother

I too get attacked in a similar way. You have power over these attacks through Jesus Christ, we Christians are more powerful in this realm than you can imagine.

Please excuse me but it sounds like you have lost hope to defeat these attacks.

A strong Christian must have love, hope and faith in complete measures.
Hope, faith and love is the core of Christian faith, lose one and it can come apart.

You are in control of your body and with God through Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit you can do amazing things . You must realise that those attacks are pathetic and useless to a commited Christian, dont worry these attacks may come intermittently but these things shouldnt overwhelm you,

You command these things. You are a servant of God.

To these attacks i say

Get thee behind me satan, we Christians are stronger than you