I'm so angry...

[Cassandra]

A while ago my boyfriend broke up with me...then wanted me back, then wasn't sure what he wanted...now I don't know. But for a week no one could get in touch with him and there was a rumor around that he was in trouble. I was stressed out to the point of having a nervous breakdown. I found out later that he was OK...but for some reason, instead of feeling relief, I've felt a strong surge of anger ever since. I think it's because here I am...about to breakdown, worried out of my mind, and depressed...and he doesn't seem to care.

Now I'm prone to being angry, bitter, and keep holding back violent outbursts. I used to be this way before I started having a relationship with this guy...in fact I used to be in a very bad state. Depressed, suicidal, had OCD, etc... I feel like I'm just regressing. I don't like it at all. I've become dependant on medication to keep myself in check, but I'm afraid I might hurt someone or myself.

 

[tapero]

Hi Cassandra,

Do you have professional help for your feelings of harm? That's so important to address your feelings. It hurts to be in an up and down relationship and I would feel hurt also. Love, Tapero

 

[inHisgripkim]

A while ago my boyfriend broke up with me...then wanted me back, then wasn't sure what he wanted...now I don't know. But for a week no one could get in touch with him and there was a rumor around that he was in trouble. I was stressed out to the point of having a nervous breakdown. I found out later that he was OK...but for some reason, instead of feeling relief, I've felt a strong surge of anger ever since. I think it's because here I am...about to breakdown, worried out of my mind, and depressed...and he doesn't seem to care.

Now I'm prone to being angry, bitter, and keep holding back violent outbursts. I used to be this way before I started having a relationship with this guy...in fact I used to be in a very bad state. Depressed, suicidal, had OCD, etc... I feel like I'm just regressing. I don't like it at all. I've become dependant on medication to keep myself in check, but I'm afraid I might hurt someone or myself.

Cassandray:

I think sometimes we need to focus on ourselves and get right with ourselves before we try to have a relationship with another. In order to be in a loving relationship, we have to be secure in ourselves and love ourselves. Love starts within. Balance and harmony start within.

I suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder, and I can tell you that I am not ready for a relationship yet. I don't think it's fair to another to put my issues on to someone else. I do hope one day to grow in my recovery to a point where I am secur enough with who I amt in order to have a meaningful relationship with someone. I have to be balanced before I pursue that type of relationship. If I am not balanced, I cannot expect my relationship with another to be balanced.

It would be good for you to take a step back and work on you. Professional help is a right step. Thats how I got into recovery. It's nothing to be ashamed of. It is actually admirable for someone to be honest with themselves and others.

Find peace and balance within. Find confidence and security and love from within. Find peace of mind before you make that next relationship.

God bless,
Kim

 

[Protinus]

A while ago my boyfriend broke up with me...then wanted me back, then wasn't sure what he wanted...now I don't know. But for a week no one could get in touch with him and there was a rumor around that he was in trouble. I was stressed out to the point of having a nervous breakdown. I found out later that he was OK...but for some reason, instead of feeling relief, I've felt a strong surge of anger ever since. I think it's because here I am...about to breakdown, worried out of my mind, and depressed...and he doesn't seem to care.

Now I'm prone to being angry, bitter, and keep holding back violent outbursts. I used to be this way before I started having a relationship with this guy...in fact I used to be in a very bad state. Depressed, suicidal, had OCD, etc... I feel like I'm just regressing. I don't like it at all. I've become dependant on medication to keep myself in check, but I'm afraid I might hurt someone or myself.

Cassandra: I think you need to heal from this latest ordeal...plus you are all over the map about self guilt, blame, anger at yourself and your BF. Give yourself a few more days...get some really good sleep...do some regular tasks that are fulfilling and even things you don't like to do, but would like to get out of the way. Channel this extra anger energy into positive tasks for yourself and your being. Then you will be able to parse out what happened and how to confront your BF and wether or not you want to go through this in the future. Trust yourself, trust our Lord and be sensible about the next two days recover. You'll be good!!