I'm so afraid

[babegirl111]

I have not really posted on here in a really long time but i need some help.
Tonight in the car I was just talking to myself about my OCD when I said something like "Maybe I'm being punished for something I did in the past". Is that blasphemy. I know for a fact that God would never punish us with this illness. None of this OCD is of him, but I can't shake the fact that what I said is blaspemy. I would never think or ever have thought that GOD was the reason why I dealt with this. I know all of the bad thoughts are lies and nothing like him AT ALL! But now I feel like im condemned and I can't stop crying. I don't understand why of all the fears I have my biggest fear would be the one thing that seems to turn my life upside down. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!

 

[Jayangel81]

Hey welcome back

I am sorry to see that this awful spike was the reason to come back

You know they are all lies. Let them be for what they are

 

[Jayangel81]

Remember Fear, is Faith in what satan says. Not what God says

 

[127.0.0.1]

No, babegirl. You are not condemned. Trust me. God will never abandon you, regardless of anything you ever do. Period.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Hi, babegirl, sounds like to me you are just having a very bad OCD spike right now. Your ocd is exaggerating whatever you said and putting the worst possible spin on it. You know this is just what OCD often does. Prayers for you, babegirl!

 

[babegirl111]

THANKS YALL I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I was doing so well on my meds then I stopped taking them and thats when my illness came back even worse. But thank yall I really appreciate your responses.

 

[127.0.0.1]

Your post even put me in tears, I must admit. However you need not worry. God loves you and has far more to gain by keeping you rather than losing you.

 

[Jayangel81]

THANKS YALL I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I was doing so well on my meds then I stopped taking them and thats when my illness came back even worse. But thank yall I really appreciate your responses.

What made you come off the meds?

 

[babegirl111]

Thanks Command0182, you are very kind. I really needed the encouragement.

Hey Jayangel81, I think the reason why was that I was just so happy that I was doing so well. I hardly ever had thoughts. I mean, If I am correct I believe I went entire days without thoughts and if they did happen, I would just push them out and keep doing what I was doing. I guess I thought that I would be able to get through it without medicine, but I was wrong. I was ok for a lot of months after I stop taking them but then I started to realize that my OCD was coming back. It's like going back to square one. But I am getting back on, Believe me

 

[babegirl111]

Hey, at this very moment Im trying so hard to keep from doing a ritual that I know will certainly cause more OCD. But if I don't perform the ritual my anxiety will keep attacking me. UGH this ilness is frustrating.

 

[Jayangel81]

Thanks Command0182, you are very kind. I really needed the encouragement.

Hey Jayangel81, I think the reason why was that I was just so happy that I was doing so well. I hardly ever had thoughts. I mean, If I am correct I believe I went entire days without thoughts and if they did happen, I would just push them out and keep doing what I was doing. I guess I thought that I would be able to get through it without medicine, but I was wrong. I was ok for a lot of months after I stop taking them but then I started to realize that my OCD was coming back. It's like going back to square one. But I am getting back on, Believe me

That is the usual reason people come off an meds, they feel better

 

[babegirl111]

That is the usual reason people come off an meds, they feel better

I know right lol. I just have a lot of Faith that things will get better. I just finished talking to my grandmother and now I have responses from you all. I feel a lot better all of a sudden. GOD THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I LOVE YOU!

 

[127.0.0.1]

Deleted

 

[babegirl111]

It really gets tough. I really need to just back away from the computer, my ritual has to do with something with my computer but I cannot seem to shake this anxiety. Im trying my best. It is so frustrating though.