Hi, I'm really scared to go to work now because it feels like a lot of people are against me. I'm not even doing anything to anyone. Also I heard from people that they think I'm rude and I don't agree with them and one of my coworkers said there was something wrong with me. Also I work at the grocery store and this guy keeps talking to me and he keeps calling me by my wrong name and he thought I was mad at him when I corrected him. And he makes fun of me. He won't stop bothering me. That really hurt me and It makes me depressed because I didn't do anything to him. I tried to stay away from him and ignore him but he won't leave me alone. He's married and I'm a young woman but he seems to attack me for some reason. Also I feel attacked by people other people at my store because they all think I'm rude but really I have a bad feeling about these people. Some are nice. Some are cool to talk to. But I don't understand why the focus is on me. I guess it's because I'm newer to the store? Also I was going fast and like tossed the money at the customer but wasn't trying to be rude at all but the customer thought I was. I was really frustrated because then she complained about me to one of the managers. And then everyone talked about how horrible I was and it was really embarrassing but that wasn't my intention. People keep saying bad things about me but that's not where my hearts at I didn't mean it to be rude and i tried to explain it to the customer in the nicest way possible. I mean they expect people to be robots at this store and I'm not a robot. I'm a human being with feelings. It makes me feel alone and it makes me feel lonely because every time I'm around people they treat me badly. I don't know who to talk to in these situations. I feel like I have no friends because a lot of people just hate me for reasons I don't understand. I don't know but maybe I appear to me stuck up to some of these people because I'm not that friendly towards them but I have a bad feeling about them too. So it makes me want to stay away. I don't know if some can help that would be great. If not that's ok too. It's just situations like this make me extremely depressed.
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I'm scared to go to work...
- Thread starter Julie Gross
- Start date
Also I want to add that i keep meeting people that seem to patronize me and it makes me mad people keep thinking I look young so they think that's an excuse to treat me like a child and it's annoying. I don't know how to make people stop doing that.
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faroukfarouk
Fading curmudgeon
John 14 is a great chapter for peace and comfort among those who love and trust the Lord Jesus.
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They are quick to judge my looks and think I'm cute and don't take me seriously it's unbearable sometimes because I'm not treated with the respect I deserve.
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faroukfarouk
Fading curmudgeon
Well, sometimes before/after pictures can show ppl looking a lot more mature:
imgrum dot net
But remember it's what we are inwardly that counts far, far more than the outward.
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faroukfarouk
Fading curmudgeon
YW. She looks like she is transformed, right?
A handsome, confident and mature lady in a formal setting, I guess.
(But it's the way the Lord transforms His people inwardly by faith that really counts.)
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- Mar 2, 2016
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Everyone is, in their nature, corrupted. (I'm referring to the people who hurt you in particular.) There's no way to get rid of it. What God wants is for people to exercise self-control and heavenly wisdom so things can be as good as possible. In the case of the person being abused—the more we focus on Jesus and are devoted to him, the more we will experience his help against such things.
It seems to me that you might be in the wrong kind of environment. It might be that you are surrounded by many people who have not made it is priority to live in a way that is pleasing to God. It could also be that you are more sensitive than a psychologically healthy person would be (if there is such a thing). Are you on any meds? There are some that have anti-social anxiety traits (e.g., Lexapro [generic: escitalopram])
A lot of Christians find they can't function or be themselves working in a non-Christian environment. It could be that you are more psychogically healthy than everyone around you, or at least just have different problems. You could also be more spiritually healthy—which does affect your psyche, and makes it more likely you'll be treated badly.
Those that hurt you have been forged from the hurts they have received in their lives. It might help manage your reactions to them to recognize they are mentally ill in their own way. It probably is the case that they couldn't just stop being the way they are even if they wanted to.
Also recognize that socially speaking, you don't need to be polite when someone is impolite to you. I say that because sometimes we are in chains to be polite rather than try to deal with a problem person head-on. (Treating someone like they treat you often has bad consequences, however.)
It seems to me that you might be in the wrong kind of environment. It might be that you are surrounded by many people who have not made it is priority to live in a way that is pleasing to God. It could also be that you are more sensitive than a psychologically healthy person would be (if there is such a thing). Are you on any meds? There are some that have anti-social anxiety traits (e.g., Lexapro [generic: escitalopram])
A lot of Christians find they can't function or be themselves working in a non-Christian environment. It could be that you are more psychogically healthy than everyone around you, or at least just have different problems. You could also be more spiritually healthy—which does affect your psyche, and makes it more likely you'll be treated badly.
Those that hurt you have been forged from the hurts they have received in their lives. It might help manage your reactions to them to recognize they are mentally ill in their own way. It probably is the case that they couldn't just stop being the way they are even if they wanted to.
Also recognize that socially speaking, you don't need to be polite when someone is impolite to you. I say that because sometimes we are in chains to be polite rather than try to deal with a problem person head-on. (Treating someone like they treat you often has bad consequences, however.)
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- Aug 3, 2014
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First, I wanted to say welcome to CF! I hope you find friendly fellowship here.
I remember dreading to go to work when I was younger. I knew people were against me due to the fact I was more qualified than the rest of the team to be a Key Holder in the store. They resented me for that and made it their mission to drive me out. In the end they drove themselves out and my time there was finished.
You don't have to do anything for people to resent you without cause. They do that all on their own.
I also had this happen to me, and still does to this day! Because he kept remember me as someone else, I actually had to take his name off my reference list because he was giving me a bad reference. I have nothing against him of course, I recognize the mistake for what it was and I corrected him (many times of course).
However, if this guy you speak of is harassing you, you need to speak to the manager's boss (the general manager). I had to do this before as well because the man who hired me was sexist and only hired women. He would also steal his coworkers credit and boast about himself if one of us did a good job. One of the staff I worked with deserved a promotion in which he was keeping from her. Enough was enough and I called the General Manager and explained what was going on. My testimony wasn't enough however and told me to get the other girls to call her and see what they had to say about their story (I could have been lying, so I understood her concern). I did just that, though it took some motivation, but I certainly encouraged them to do what was right. Sometimes doing the right thing can be scary. I get that. In the end, the man who hired me was forced to resign (fired).
This reminds me of what Jesus said: John 15:18-19 "If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you."
Like you, I struggled a lot with acceptance and I could not understand why people disliked me so much. That verse speaks volumes as to why. Take heart! Because we are so loved by our Creator. Remember that God gave His very Son (the Lamb) to save us all and that we would not perish.
I know exactly how you feel. For a very long time, I struggled with that too. Then I learned that being a child of God is so much more fulfilling than working for some greedy company. I still work as a cashier and I have come to accept my role here on earth until God turns everything upside down. (if you really think about the Bible, it's really a mirror. What is reflected back is the same in heaven.) I asked God for peace in my heart because I let the misery of people get the best of me. Now, they don't even phase me anymore. That is how powerful God is! Lean on Him and on Jesus' teaching and nothing will be taken from you.
Talk to God our Father in Heaven. Let Him lead you to those who will allow Him to speak through them. Blessed be His Name and His Kingdom come!
I remember dreading to go to work when I was younger. I knew people were against me due to the fact I was more qualified than the rest of the team to be a Key Holder in the store. They resented me for that and made it their mission to drive me out. In the end they drove themselves out and my time there was finished.
You don't have to do anything for people to resent you without cause. They do that all on their own.
I also had this happen to me, and still does to this day! Because he kept remember me as someone else, I actually had to take his name off my reference list because he was giving me a bad reference. I have nothing against him of course, I recognize the mistake for what it was and I corrected him (many times of course).
However, if this guy you speak of is harassing you, you need to speak to the manager's boss (the general manager). I had to do this before as well because the man who hired me was sexist and only hired women. He would also steal his coworkers credit and boast about himself if one of us did a good job. One of the staff I worked with deserved a promotion in which he was keeping from her. Enough was enough and I called the General Manager and explained what was going on. My testimony wasn't enough however and told me to get the other girls to call her and see what they had to say about their story (I could have been lying, so I understood her concern). I did just that, though it took some motivation, but I certainly encouraged them to do what was right. Sometimes doing the right thing can be scary. I get that. In the end, the man who hired me was forced to resign (fired).
This reminds me of what Jesus said: John 15:18-19 "If the world hates you, understand that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you."
Like you, I struggled a lot with acceptance and I could not understand why people disliked me so much. That verse speaks volumes as to why. Take heart! Because we are so loved by our Creator. Remember that God gave His very Son (the Lamb) to save us all and that we would not perish.
I know exactly how you feel. For a very long time, I struggled with that too. Then I learned that being a child of God is so much more fulfilling than working for some greedy company. I still work as a cashier and I have come to accept my role here on earth until God turns everything upside down. (if you really think about the Bible, it's really a mirror. What is reflected back is the same in heaven.) I asked God for peace in my heart because I let the misery of people get the best of me. Now, they don't even phase me anymore. That is how powerful God is! Lean on Him and on Jesus' teaching and nothing will be taken from you.
Talk to God our Father in Heaven. Let Him lead you to those who will allow Him to speak through them. Blessed be His Name and His Kingdom come!
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DaisyDay
I Did Nothing Wrong!! ~~Team Deep State
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It's ok to be "fake" at work - it's to your advantage - it's also just being professional and not letting your personal problems interfere with your work (too much).
One of the ironic problems with being depressed is that depressed people are not "fun" to be around and so get picked on - a lot. I find it's best to appear as cheerful as possible, don't scowl or avoid looking directly at people. Smile and greet your co-workers whether they say hello back or not - it really doesn't matter. The trick is to make them think you like them, not to make them like you (or, most importantly, appear to) - they'll be nicer to you that way. It's tiresome to keep it up the whole day, but try it first thing in the morning, coming off of a break and leaving for the day.
It's important for the customers as well to try to keep as pleasant an expression as possible. Our natural expressions are often misinterpreted - sadness can be read as dislike or anger, which is then returned, unjustly. You're at a disadvantage in terms of power, so control what the customer sees: keep your eyebrows raised slightly (anti-scowl) and a slight smile. Practice until it becomes a natural habit. You want people to think you like them, so they'll treat you kindly.
It may feel crazy at first having your facial expression and body language not match what you're actually feeling, but, strangely, your feelings will often "catch up" to your physical attitude. And people treating you better does make you feel better.
I take it that you are a young woman, so you will get unwanted attention, for better or worse, until you age out of it. Appearing attractive will get you better treatment from both men and women. Looking sophisticated, if you can pull that off, should get you some respect and cut down on the patronizing. The patronizing thing is certainly annoying, but bide your time with that, usually it's not worth an immediate confrontation.
This is all superficial advice on how to get along better at work. I sincerely hope you overcome your depression. Consider getting real help from a real doctor.
One of the ironic problems with being depressed is that depressed people are not "fun" to be around and so get picked on - a lot. I find it's best to appear as cheerful as possible, don't scowl or avoid looking directly at people. Smile and greet your co-workers whether they say hello back or not - it really doesn't matter. The trick is to make them think you like them, not to make them like you (or, most importantly, appear to) - they'll be nicer to you that way. It's tiresome to keep it up the whole day, but try it first thing in the morning, coming off of a break and leaving for the day.
It's important for the customers as well to try to keep as pleasant an expression as possible. Our natural expressions are often misinterpreted - sadness can be read as dislike or anger, which is then returned, unjustly. You're at a disadvantage in terms of power, so control what the customer sees: keep your eyebrows raised slightly (anti-scowl) and a slight smile. Practice until it becomes a natural habit. You want people to think you like them, so they'll treat you kindly.
It may feel crazy at first having your facial expression and body language not match what you're actually feeling, but, strangely, your feelings will often "catch up" to your physical attitude. And people treating you better does make you feel better.
I take it that you are a young woman, so you will get unwanted attention, for better or worse, until you age out of it. Appearing attractive will get you better treatment from both men and women. Looking sophisticated, if you can pull that off, should get you some respect and cut down on the patronizing. The patronizing thing is certainly annoying, but bide your time with that, usually it's not worth an immediate confrontation.
This is all superficial advice on how to get along better at work. I sincerely hope you overcome your depression. Consider getting real help from a real doctor.
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Hi, Julie, and grace and peace to you in the name of our lord Jesus.
There's some really good advice given by others here. All I would like to add at the moment is something that I felt as I was praying about how to respond: Matthew 5:43-45 and Luke 6:27-28 (but not verse 29 in this particular case at this time).
If you are able to pray for them, it can have effects that one might not expect. In addition to hopefully helping you feel more secure in your own heart, God may also do some work in some of their hearts as well.
In Christ,
Daryl
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DaisyDay
I Did Nothing Wrong!! ~~Team Deep State
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One other thing - you might want to just get a different job first, then quit that one. That could be a very bad environment for you. You don't have to stay (unless you're very financially insecure with dependents).
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Maybe you should try to do you own work at home business. You got the whole world in your hands. Working with others didn't work out for me as well sista.
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I know this might soon really strange in your ears but you are doing really well. You are trying to be yourself and do your best but find that not everyone is like that. So very true.
To suffer ridicule and scorn for who we are proves that we are genuine, for it are always those who have killed that within themselves who attack us for being so. It is best to pray for every person who hurts you for Christ to please heal them for you can be assured that underneath they hurt and if not yet they will in the future.
Try and make sure that you fill yourself up with good things from all around, and resist the bad things entrance inside. Even if people force feed you their crap simply spew it back up and leave it behind and pray for their healing, and your own if you are still hurting such times badly.
Please understand that our God is pure love, so the more love you cultivate in your heart, the more the fullness of God lives in you. With Him on board you can withstand even our own crucifixion without too much hassle in the end, I found out to be true.
It is simply amazing all the things we can do when will live in His love, so please seek after that and not the approval of people, for such is very fickle indeed.
Praying you keep adding genuineness to your personality I reckon you sound greatest person to know and work with.
Peace.
What Can I Say About Suffering
What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that in the Pit all lies end up - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment?
I have learned that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let it be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed at all times.
I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.
I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids. Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony. So that misery may never rule my life again, no more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead freedom for me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.
I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?
I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others. But simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.
So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering. God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.
To suffer ridicule and scorn for who we are proves that we are genuine, for it are always those who have killed that within themselves who attack us for being so. It is best to pray for every person who hurts you for Christ to please heal them for you can be assured that underneath they hurt and if not yet they will in the future.
Try and make sure that you fill yourself up with good things from all around, and resist the bad things entrance inside. Even if people force feed you their crap simply spew it back up and leave it behind and pray for their healing, and your own if you are still hurting such times badly.
Please understand that our God is pure love, so the more love you cultivate in your heart, the more the fullness of God lives in you. With Him on board you can withstand even our own crucifixion without too much hassle in the end, I found out to be true.
It is simply amazing all the things we can do when will live in His love, so please seek after that and not the approval of people, for such is very fickle indeed.
Praying you keep adding genuineness to your personality I reckon you sound greatest person to know and work with.
Peace.
What Can I Say About Suffering
What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that in the Pit all lies end up - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment?
I have learned that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let it be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed at all times.
I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.
I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids. Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony. So that misery may never rule my life again, no more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead freedom for me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.
I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?
I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others. But simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.
So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering. God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.
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Do you have any idea how to start a home business? I have been trying different things but it hasn't worked out for me. I want to write blogs but I don't know how to get money. If you do know please let me know. I would prefer to get money from writing blogs then to go to a job with people.
Also, Thank you for your response and I know this was a late reply but I really want to what you have to say. Please let me know.
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