I think with my past history of gross sexual sin, God's permanately shut the door on me ever getting married, and I can't blame him. What if I do get married, and then at some point down the road, slip on line and chat with someone again or watch porn? that one moment would destroy my marriage instantly, and she should get a divorce. Even looking lustfully is grounds for divorce, I can't not do it. So I figure i'm done with ever dating anyone. I love carly, but I can't put her through this again, she said she'd be willing to try again, but I'll just disappoint her again. I told her she can start dating other people, she'll find someone who isn't a grotesque, promiscuous pervert and who actually loves her like she deserves.
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I'm probably done
- Thread starter dano0488
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Hate to sound harsh, but stop feeling sorry for yourself. Look most men, if not all, have this problem. Heck, I've watched more hours of porn than I care to remember. You need to realise, there is victory in Christ. You need to seek Him daily, and feast on the things He provides. Go to extremes to break your sins. Even if you aren't supposed to get married, you still need to break this. If you must, you need to get rid of any access to it. If that means getting rid of your tv, and your pc, well that's what you need to do. But this is about bigger things than marriage, this is about your relationship with God.
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K9_Trainer
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If having sexual desires and lust makes somebody a grotesque, promiscuous pervert, then your chances of finding somebody who isn't, male or female, is slim. And even though everybody does have sexual and lustful desires, it doesn't mean they aren't incapable of genuine love.
The point of a relationship isn't being perfect. You can't be perfect for her anymore than she can be perfect for you. Do you really think she's never sinned? Do you really think she has never had a lustful thought or sexual desire? Why do you hold her on such a pedestal? She is a sinner as much as you are.
You WILL make mistakes, you will hurt each other, you will disrespect each other, you'll make each other cry, you'll make each other angry. That's really no excuse to not get into a relationship. Again, the point of a relationship isn't to be perfect. The point is to love. Just because you sin, just because you make mistakes and hurt each other doesn't mean you don't love each other. It doesn't mean you can't forgive each other.
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Sketcher
Born Imperishable
Context: http://www.christianforums.com/t7678802/ This man needs help.
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If Not For Grace
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I haven't looked at any chat site since my original post, but still, the chance is real that I'll still fall, once I do that, any progress i made is cancelled out, and I'm still a filthy person. no woman deserves to be cheated on, and I already cheated on her physically. God sees us all past, present, and future simultaneously. So I cheated on her, even though I didn't know her back then, since God sees all. I've already defiled the holy act of sex, disrespected God, Carly, my ex, the women i had one night stands with, the people at church who think I'm a "good christian man". If they knew what I'd do, they'd be right to ban me from the church. I'm supposed to be a new creation in Christ, so the old sins are supposed to be dead to me and I shouldn't even be tempted by them, right? I don't think I'm even saved because I'm not a new man, still the idiot i was, yes, I believe in Christ and trust in him, yes, I try to serve him, but serving God is worthless when there's foul, rank, sin in your life, because you just expose yourself as a hypocrite. I struggle reading the word, I always have, and I hate myself for that. I always fixate on my past, when I'd get drunk or high on the soccer team and get in fights at parties, how i'd have sex with my girlfriend, how i'd look at chatting websites and porn. that's all still there.
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K9_Trainer
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Oh, thanks.
In that case, yes, he needs help.
OP, have you considered counseling with a pastor or somebody from your church who can help you? If you are addicted to porn or sex, you may need professional help from a therapist.
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The Bible doesn't say looking lustinfully at a woman is grounds for divorce.
Notice I said divorce, not burning eternally in Hell.
Good thing we have a Savior.
Btw, you can be free from the porn thing.
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i agree, you need to trust God, that He has the ability to break off this bondage for you.
not to say you wont fall or lust again, but not all men have a habit, and you do not have to be an exception.
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I
icoo
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I don't think looking with lust is grounds for divorce... Only adultery is.. looking with lust is adultery of the heart, but it's not actual adultery.
Anyway, I agree with you that you should deal with these issues before thinking about getting married. Don't worry about which doors God will open or close.. just work on being closer to Him and being more conformed to the image of His son, and growing His Kingdom, and He will take care of the rest.
Anyway, I agree with you that you should deal with these issues before thinking about getting married. Don't worry about which doors God will open or close.. just work on being closer to Him and being more conformed to the image of His son, and growing His Kingdom, and He will take care of the rest.
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If you don't think you've ever truly repented and believe, then do so. If you haven't been baptized into Christ, being buried with Christ through faith in the power of God, (Colossians 2.)
You may have a problem with the way you 'reckon' yourself. Romans 6 talks about this. It says to reckon yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God. If you want to be free from committing your sin, you need to reckon yourself to be dead to it. It is by knowing the truth that you are free.
If your sin is forgiven and in the past, and you reckon yourself to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God, then you are not going to sit around moping and thinking about how some day you can fall back into the sin. You won't do that because you are free from the sin, and the power of God works in you to will and to do that which is good. If you think sin is more powerful, you need to change your thinking. That stronghold in your mind needs to be pulled down.
Get some verses from Romans 6 and tape them on the mirror in the bathroom or on the medicine cabinet--like that one about reckoning yourself to be dead indeed unto sin.
You can also include that one "For sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under the law put under grace."
Being 'under grace' doesn't mean that if you commit a sin, you will be forgiven, and therefore sin won't have dominion over you because if you do it you will be forgiven. No, that is not what Paul is saying at all.
In Romans 5, we see that sin used to reign, but now grace shall reign. Grace reigns. Paul outlabored the other apostles, yet it wasn't Paul, but the grace that was with him. That word for spiritual gift, charismata, is closely related to the word for grace, charis. Reading the New Testament, we see that we exercise gifts as stewards of God's grace, and that gifts differ according to the grace given to us.
When the apostles raised people from the dead, that was grace at work. When they healed the blind, that was grace at work.
If you are in Christ, then God's grace is in you. You are not under the law but under grace. The power that raises the dead is in you to make you alive unto God, not under the dominion of sin fornicating, committing adultery, and watching porn.
So if you sit around thinking that you are going to fall, you probably will. But if you know the truth that you are in Jesus, and that Jesus is in you, and you yield your body to holiness, you won't fall. You will stay pure. Know the truth and be set free. If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
I've never had sex with anyone but my wife, but I have gone through periods of my wife when I looked at porn, and it's a nasty thing to have done. But by the grace of God, I am free from porn now. You can be free, too.
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SiyoNqoba
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It's understandable that you're feeling guilty, but it's so important for you to realise that this does not mean that you are a pervert or worthless, and that God has not shut any doors on you. You need to know that you are not alone, that we have all done things we feel ashamed of.
We all sin, that's why Jesus had to die. Think of Paul, he did some horrific stuff, and still God forgave his sins and used his life to further God's kingdom. If we could deal with sin on our own, Christ's death would be in vain. Please accept His sacrifice for you.
Even though we are saved, we still live in the world and therefore are still tempted by the same things we were before we were saved. You are not alone in that, and it's not a sign that you are any less worthy of the blessings and gifts God has for you.
God can be trusted not to let you be tempted to much, and He will always give you a way to escape your temptations. But learning how to say no to temptation is a journey. At first it seems impossible, but the more you say no, the easier it becomes. There are always going to be times when you slip up, as we all do. But trust God and allow Him to help you rather then relying on your own strength.
We all sin, that's why Jesus had to die. Think of Paul, he did some horrific stuff, and still God forgave his sins and used his life to further God's kingdom. If we could deal with sin on our own, Christ's death would be in vain. Please accept His sacrifice for you.
Even though we are saved, we still live in the world and therefore are still tempted by the same things we were before we were saved. You are not alone in that, and it's not a sign that you are any less worthy of the blessings and gifts God has for you.
God can be trusted not to let you be tempted to much, and He will always give you a way to escape your temptations. But learning how to say no to temptation is a journey. At first it seems impossible, but the more you say no, the easier it becomes. There are always going to be times when you slip up, as we all do. But trust God and allow Him to help you rather then relying on your own strength.
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