Im not sure what to do. Advice please.

[Macchiato]

So on top of my daughter's father having a broken leg his brother passed away as well. Im trying to be there for him but something bothered me. I remember he linked me to a page on his fb and Instagram where he added music to a picture collage I made of him and our baby and I saw he finally changed his relationship status.

The whole time we were together he never changed his relationship status. Ever. He never put pictures up of me ,him and our daughter. He also wished all other mother's a happy mother's day but not me. But i think the thing that sent me was when I saw an instagram of him and his nephews-- saying All I need is my family.

Never us. Never me and his baby. NEVER. he'll say how he loves me in private. He rarely spends time with his baby girl. Its like a chore getting him to do so but he'll happily go be with his nephews???? I dont get this at all.

Then on the fourth he had a picture of him outside a club like setting. Idk its heart breaking bc he isnt thinking abt me. He told me he was trying to get me Mother's Day gifts...which i truly don't believe anymore since he hit a club days before mother's day.

He's not thinking about me.


I have our daughter 24/7. Im not at clubs. I get her to and from daycare. I do all the nights.. ALL of them. ALL. When he broke his leg i helped him. I brought groceries in his house, got him a new phone since he lost that one, Helped him go to the toliet and shower.. But he never helped me or visited me after I had our daughter(c section) i do all this in private for him to not claim me publicly. I feel like a secret. It bothers me deeply.

I want to bring this up bc he says he wants to be a family... But he doesnt act like it. When is a good time to tell him all of this? His brother passed and I dont want to be petty but I feel this needs to be addressed.

I just dont know if he loves me.

 

[Servant78]

We are called to pray and forgive.

 

[Macchiato]

We are called to pray and forgive.

I know that. I really would love to be with him but it doesnt seem he views me in the same light. He tells me he wants to be with me and be a family and then this. This really hurts alot.

 

[Tolworth John]

just dont know if he loves me

It is by peoples actions we know whether their words mean anything.

May I suggest that you post replies on his Facebook etc pointing out he has a family that he has abandoned.
Post on his Facebook all the help you have given him and list how he hasn't helped you.

Then leave him alone.

 

[Macchiato]

It is by peoples actions we know whether their words mean anything.

May I suggest that you post replies on his Facebook etc pointing out he has a family that he has abandoned.
Post on his Facebook all the help you have given him and list how he hasn't helped you.

Then leave him alone.

Youre very right. Im so incredibly heart broken.
Ive thought of doing what you said but he can easily just delete the comments. I was going to tell him in person everything I saw and how he flat out doesnt love me the way he say he does.

 

[turkle]

What I fail to understand is why you continue to hope for love and affection from a man who has made clear to you that he is not going to give it to you. He also has demonstrated that he doesn't care about his child. And yet you still want him to make you a "family"? That is a fantasy.

You are in a difficult enough situation without imagining a successful family with a man who obviously doesn't care about you. While it is nice of you to help him when he broke his leg, it also communicates to him that you are willing to continue to be his doormat. If you are willing to continue in that status, then you should continue to let him walk all over you. But if you have self respect, and want to protect your children, then I recommend you keep your distance from this loser. And please don't try to force your daughter on him. This is how children get injured, or worse.

You are living the consequences of poor choices. Please prayerfully start making good ones. If not for yourself, then certainly for your children. They don't need to be around a father that doesn't care for them.

 

[Tolworth John]

Youre very right. Im so incredibly heart broken.
Ive thought of doing what you said but he can easily just delete the comments. I was going to tell him in person everything I saw and how he flat out doesnt love me the way he say he does.

Post your comments on his Facebook and on his friends Facebook.
Be very factfully, no emotional accusations just facts showing what an immature person he is.

Then unfriend him, block his phone, delete him from your records and your life.

 

[1watchman]

Macchiato, please STOP these wild thoughts of revenge; and lamenting the bad experience you have had with your poor choice of a man to live with. If you won't leave that line of activity, and start looking to God: in His "..beloved Son": the Lord Jesus, as one can clearly see in John 3; John 14; Romans 8 of our Holy Bible, etc.; then you will go on in misery. You truly need our Savior: Jesus Christ in your heart and life for peace and blessing --now and for eternity; so start speaking to Him in earnest prayer now. Go to Church regularly and draw close to God, in Jesus Christ! I will pray for you, and you can talk with me privately at the Conversation page here on CF, if you wish. -1watchman.

 

[Macchiato]

Post your comments on his Facebook and on his friends Facebook.
Be very factfully, no emotional accusations just facts showing what an immature person he is.

Then unfriend him, block his phone, delete him from your records and your life.

Yeah. I may do that. I may not. Over the weekend I found out more of what he was doing that I didn't want to know. He doesnt love or appreciate me. Taking your advice above.

 

[Macchiato]

What I fail to understand is why you continue to hope for love and affection from a man who has made clear to you that he is not going to give it to you. He also has demonstrated that he doesn't care about his child. And yet you still want him to make you a "family"? That is a fantasy.

You are in a difficult enough situation without imagining a successful family with a man who obviously doesn't care about you. While it is nice of you to help him when he broke his leg, it also communicates to him that you are willing to continue to be his doormat. If you are willing to continue in that status, then you should continue to let him walk all over you. But if you have self respect, and want to protect your children, then I recommend you keep your distance from this loser. And please don't try to force your daughter on him. This is how children get injured, or worse.

You are living the consequences of poor choices. Please prayerfully start making good ones. If not for yourself, then certainly for your children. They don't need to be around a father that doesn't care for them.

I thought he was a really good and decent man. Everyone had nothing but good things to say bout him. He isn't the person he was initially. Thats why. I know I need to move on though.

 

[VeronicaVeronica]

I strongly encourage you and everyone I know not to post or comment on social media when emotionally upset. No good comes of it. Stay away from social media when upset and feeling hurt

You have been long suffering, hopeful, and helpful. You have put in much time and energy, with little to no results.

The time has come for you to step away from these other distractions. Focus upon nothing else but your relationship with the Lord, and on your relationship with your child. That's it.