Im not satisfied with myself.,,

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I just wish I was someone else. I look up to some celebs and friends because I love who they are and they're personality. People say, you're unique...they'll never be another like you...well if I'm honest. I don't even want to be me...

In 25, no real friends, relationship exp3rience, still live at home, clueless, weak..

When I think back to how I was treated at my former church,,it makes me so sad I didn't stand up for myself and say something at least. I just took it, and I hate how weak I was,

I hate how I freak out and have anxiety and have to think about events in the future, considering the possibility I may freak out and have to avoid events bc my stupid brain can't handle it.

I hate how weak I am, how anxiety rules my life, how I'm 25 and my life passed me by.

I look at my brother who's almost 30 and still at home with no degree and still a slave to the church but reaping no benefits, not only is it heart breaking but so depressing. Also heard abt a coworker of mind whose spouse may be into another woman... And she reminds me a good bit of myself ...and it just makes me feel my life will go either like my brother, just doing everything for god and still not reaping benefits... Or like my coworker , end up getting a guy that messes around on me and never being enough. I'm on a dating app ...and just keeping thinking how no one will really like me enough to take it further, how no one will want anything to do with me..

Sometimes I just wish God could just take me, even though I work and progress I feel I have no future and I just feel dead inside.

I just wish God didn't create me sometimes, I'm a defective person... I just wish i wasnt here.

Sometimes I'm this close "_ _" to just ending it all...because I'm tired of being me,,,someone that always loses.
God doesn't talk to me, he doesn't care about my life or happiness,..and I don't fit in with this world, I don't drink,smoke,cuss or sleep around enough to be what people want me to be...

In tired of being an oddity in the physical world as well as the spiritual.

I'm tired.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

We can always chat if you need advice, I've been told I'm pretty good at advice. The door is open you just need to walk through it. Don't worry I'm practically a eunech when it comes to women so I'm definitely not like your average guy. Feel free to message me if you really want some solid heartfelt advice. I can only say so much in a post before I become redundant.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

We can always chat if you need advice, I've been told I'm pretty good at advice. The door is open you just need to walk through it. Don't worry I'm practically a eunech when it comes to women so I'm definitely not like your average guy. Feel free to message me if you really want some solid heartfelt advice. I can only say so much in a post before I become redundant.

The difference between you and me is that you don't or probably never had a strong desire to be with another person(I may be wrong idk) so it doesn't bother you...

And I think I know what you're going to say already I respectfully, agree to disagree.

 

[Tomm]

I just wish I was someone else. I look up to some celebs and friends because I love who they are and they're personality. People say, you're unique...they'll never be another like you...well if I'm honest. I don't even want to be me...

In 25, no real friends, relationship exp3rience, still live at home, clueless, weak..

When I think back to how I was treated at my former church,,it makes me so sad I didn't stand up for myself and say something at least. I just took it, and I hate how weak I was,

I hate how I freak out and have anxiety and have to think about events in the future, considering the possibility I may freak out and have to avoid events bc my stupid brain can't handle it.

I hate how weak I am, how anxiety rules my life, how I'm 25 and my life passed me by.

I look at my brother who's almost 30 and still at home with no degree and still a slave to the church but reaping no benefits, not only is it heart breaking but so depressing. Also heard abt a coworker of mind whose spouse may be into another woman... And she reminds me a good bit of myself ...and it just makes me feel my life will go either like my brother, just doing everything for god and still not reaping benefits... Or like my coworker , end up getting a guy that messes around on me and never being enough. I'm on a dating app ...and just keeping thinking how no one will really like me enough to take it further, how no one will want anything to do with me..

Sometimes I just wish God could just take me, even though I work and progress I feel I have no future and I just feel dead inside.

I just wish God didn't create me sometimes, I'm a defective person... I just wish i wasnt here.

Sometimes I'm this close "_ _" to just ending it all...because I'm tired of being me,,,someone that always loses.
God doesn't talk to me, he doesn't care about my life or happiness,..and I don't fit in with this world, I don't drink,smoke,cuss or sleep around enough to be what people want me to be...

In tired of being an oddity in the physical world as well as the spiritual.

I'm tired.

You are too harsh towards yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Which denomination do you belong to?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

You are too harsh towards yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Which denomination do you belong to?

Non denominational. Why does that matter?
I'm just stressed, I'm getting older, I'm losing my hair to alopecia...I feel no guy wants me and after my hair is gone they defintely won't. All of my friends are paired up, they're gonna be married and have children ...then I'm gonna be alone,,,possibly even more alone..

I just wish I was gone.

I feel like that's my lot in life just to be alone and be lonely. If so I just wish I wasn't born.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

The difference between you and me is that you don't or probably never had a strong desire to be with another person(I may be wrong idk) so it doesn't bother you...

And I think I know what you're going to say already I respectfully, agree to disagree.

I wish I could help you I do, but whatever it is that is stopping you from receiving it is there for a reason. I can assure you though that I am not as judgmental, rigid,strict as you seem to think of me. But I also know I can't force the issue but you have been down this road of sorrow many times and it hasn't gotten any better, and if you keep doing the same things then nothing will change. All I can tell you is there is hope, you just have overlooked it.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I wish I could help you I do, but whatever it is that is stopping you from receiving it is there for a reason. I can assure you though that I am not as judgmental, rigid,strict as you seem to think of me. But I also know I can't force the issue but you have been down this road of sorrow many times and it hasn't gotten any better, and if you keep doing the same things then nothing will change. All I can tell you is there is hope, you just have overlooked it.

Not the hope I want.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Not the hope I want.

What can anyone do to help you? No one can give you a husband, or a best friend. Or any kind of in person physical meaningful relationship from the internet. There's one thing to feel bad about your life circumstance its another to not be open to ideas that you dismiss without trying them. Why can't you see yourself as a good person? What have you ever done that was so bad? Why cant you love yourself? I honestly feel like I love you more than you love yourself, and I don't even know you. I wish there was a way to get you to just see yourself as you really are and not through a shallow harsh covetous way that you see. You want everything in the world except what you have. Why can't you see your worth? Why do you put your worth in the hands of others? You have to start believing in yourself some time. I can encourage you, I can give you the words you need to hear, but without you actually believing you are a good quality person that doesn't need anything but what you already have to be happy, without that belief you will always be miserable.

 

[ripple the car]

Sometimes the struggle Christ gives us to struggle with is being single, at least for a time. Sometimes the struggle He gives us is marriage itself.

There's a certain theology of suffering which states that the trials and crosses we carry can have a meaningful, beautiful, but in this world invisible role in our salvation, and even the salvation of others.

Catholic and Orthodox theology treats this issue with great depth and beauty. I hear you about feeling like a loser or a failure and wondering why God keeps you around. But we are beautiful to Him. And He can shine brightest in us when inside we can not feel Him.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

What can anyone do to help you? No one can give you a husband, or a best friend. Or any kind of in person physical meaningful relationship from the internet. There's one thing to feel bad about your life circumstance its another to not be open to ideas that you dismiss without trying them. Why can't you see yourself as a good person? What have you ever done that was so bad? Why cant you love yourself? I honestly feel like I love you more than you love yourself, and I don't even know you. I wish there was a way to get you to just see yourself as you really are and not through a shallow harsh covetous way that you see. You want everything in the world except what you have. Why can't you see your worth? Why do you put your worth in the hands of others? You have to start believing in yourself some time. I can encourage you, I can give you the words you need to hear, but without you actually believing you are a good quality person that doesn't need anything but what you already have to be happy, without that belief you will always be miserable.

Yes I know no one can't give me thing things I desire but I've witnessed them happen for my friends and just wish I could have at least a friend or significant other or something,,,if not that ..could God say something...bc its lonely ...

I'm just not happy with myself. I was never able to keep a job bc of get anxious and couldn't catch on, I could never get people to like me enough to be friends with me outside of class, no guy ever wanted anything to do with me beyond just intimacy...( I struggle not giving in bc at least is be with someone even if its for a short period of time) My own former pastor told me if Jesus was here, he'd walk on by me and the mistreatment just have me feeling like I'm nothing.

And I'm afraid when my friends so move on and get married, ill be alone again and worse off.

Its hard not to get frustrated at myself, I just wish I was someone else.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Sometimes the struggle Christ gives us to struggle with is being single, at least for a time. Sometimes the struggle He gives us is marriage itself.

There's a certain theology of suffering which states that the trials and crosses we carry can have a meaningful, beautiful, but in this world invisible role in our salvation, and even the salvation of others.

Catholic and Orthodox theology treats this issue with great depth and beauty. I hear you about feeling like a loser or a failure and wondering why God keeps you around. But we are beautiful to Him. And He can shine brightest in us when inside we can not feel Him.

I don't feel like I'm shining, I just feel dead inside.,,and alone.

 

[ripple the car]

My own former pastor told me if Jesus was here, he'd walk on by me and the mistreatment just have me feeling like I'm nothing.

I know it is difficult to not feel effected by the cruel or hateful things a person might say about us, but please know that what your pastor said was nonsense.

Christ walked by no one. He came to give everyone a chance to repent and receive life from Him. He was hardest on those who could not perceive their need for Him.

He loves you. You may feel like a mess. But Christ hanging on the Cross, bloodied and dying, must have looked a pitiful, terrible mess to the crowds and the Pharisees. And a crude failure. But we know the end of the story. His Crucifixion was not a failure, but a victory. In this life, we may not get to see the "victory" part, but the triumph will certainly be visible in the world to come.

 

[ripple the car]

I don't feel like I'm shining, I just feel dead inside.,,and alone.

There is a book you might like. It's called "Come Be My Light" by Mother Teresa. It's actually a book about her intense, invisible, inner darkness and dryness, and intense loneliness. We saw her holiness, but her inner suffering was shocking. Yet how brightly she shined. Maybe read it. It (and Teresa herself) have helped me a good deal.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Yes I know no one can't give me thing things I desire but I've witnessed them happen for my friends and just wish I could have at least a friend or significant other or something,,,if not that ..could God say something...bc its lonely ...

I'm just not happy with myself. I was never able to keep a job bc of get anxious and couldn't catch on, I could never get people to like me enough to be friends with me outside of class, no guy ever wanted anything to do with me beyond just intimacy...( I struggle not giving in bc at least is be with someone even if its for a short period of time) My own former pastor told me if Jesus was here, he'd walk on by me and the mistreatment just have me feeling like I'm nothing.

And I'm afraid when my friends so move on and get married, ill be alone again and worse off.

Its hard not to get frustrated at myself, I just wish I was someone else.

Welcome to the adult life, everyones alone, everyones miserable. This isn't saved by the bell college years. This is reality. You are going to be alone in life, you came into this world alone and you will die alone. If you can't deal with that then you will never be a well adjusted adult. If you can't accept the inevitable, then you will be running into this brick wall of misery that you keep running into each and every day of your existence. The only solution is to accept things as they are. I don't know what you expected being an adult would be like but no, its not this great thing that kids think, it sucks. Life sucks but we deal with it and make the most of it. The worst thing you can do is wishing for something impossible like being another person. Why don't you wish for a better attitude? Thats something you need and can fix your problems.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Welcome to the adult life, everyones alone, everyones miserable. This isn't saved by the bell college years. This is reality. You are going to be alone in life, you came into this world alone and you will die alone. If you can't deal with that then you will never be a well adjusted adult. If you can't accept the inevitable, then you will be running into this brick wall of misery that you keep running into each and every day of your existence. The only solution is to accept things as they are. I don't know what you expected being an adult would be like but no, its not this great thing that kids think, it sucks. Life sucks but we deal with it and make the most of it. The worst thing you can do is wishing for something impossible like being another person. Why don't you wish for a better attitude? Thats something you need and can fix your problems.

Bc a better attitude won't change my feelings and desires deep down. I'll still be lying to myself, ill still be lonely...ill just be concealing it.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

There is a book you might like. It's called "Come Be My Light" by Mother Teresa. It's actually a book about her intense, invisible, inner darkness and dryness, and intense loneliness. We saw her holiness, but her inner suffering was shocking. Yet how brightly she shined. Maybe read it. It (and Teresa herself) have helped me a good deal.

Ill give it a read.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Bc a better attitude won't change my feelings and desires deep down. I'll still be lying to myself, ill still be lonely...ill just be concealing it.

You don't know that though. Because your whole reality of your life sucking so bad is based off of a lie you have created. You're life is far from terrible. You just don't know how good you have it.

 

[chihwahli]

25 year old and life has passed you by?? I am 43 this year and last 3 years I have devoted to my Lord and God. And things are changing for the good.

Hopefully this might help you, it's my short story for the last 10 years:
I always failed, always felt useless, always did not get what I wanted, always stopped and didn't finish jobs or education. I felt like a looser. In 35 years I have not archived anything but walking in circles.
I also had moments that I wished I was no longer alive, because it all sensed it as useless.
But at some point, I was thinking, God is perfect, so it is all (or most) caused by me. I am the one who has to change. I read the bible and saw that many things we didn't do in church. Like hearing the voice of God. I asked our pastor, but he said that we don't do that kind of things. I was not satisfied with the answer and started reading books about hearing the voice of God. After a few years, someone emailed me, a former church member who left. He invited me to a small house gathering. I liked it. It was different. Later they told me that God has given him a vision and God asked him to invite me to this small house gathering. In the vision he saw that he opened the door and saw me.

After that I am still in this small house gathering (church) and I received many prophecies. One of these profecies says that I will God will start talking to me as in picture after picture. This profecay was forgotten by me, but God did not forget. He never does. So at some time, I guess 1 year ago, I just started to look at Youtube to draw a picture of an cartoon character. I asked myself what I could do next. I ended up drawing little sheep. (my website: thelittlesheep.org). And evetually I started animating the little sheep. The funny part is: I receive many ideas from God. The idea is very rough. As I am animating, I have to pray and ask God to give me the next picture. Because the initial vision of the animation is just to rough to create a complete animation from. So, suddenly I remembered the profecy. Then I knew, God has spoken many months back and now He is fulfilling His dream for me.

so, God is speaking to you already and has good plans for you. But the question is: are there real prophets in your church who can receive from God our Lord Jesus, and tell you what His will is for your live? Eveyone has a lives task to do. Ir is not difficult to sense that you are not in your place in Christ yet. The devil wants to end you and make you feel useless.

So, what do you need to do???

Go search, knock, find your live's destiny!

How?

Go find real prophets!

Where?

Here in the Netherlands I know a few trustworthy prophets. Who tell what Jesus is saying.
Like Bart doornweerth.

In the USA that would be people like: Daniel kollenda, Heide baker and everyone around them.

You really need to find Sheep who hear God's voice! So that you will step into your destiny! For what God has planned for you is great , just like anyone else. We ar created after God. Called to be great. To rule over angels later. So, start your lovely journey today! with a short prayer:

Lord Jesus I thank you and praise you.
For I am made great in your image. I feel not so happy now and that is not from you.
Help me Lord Jesus! Help! Hosanna!
Send your sheep to me! Help me find my Destiny in you. Help me to do what you want.
Thank you, this I pray in Jesus mighty and lovely name
amen.

 

[chihwahli]

oh ja, by the way. God has healed many poeple before. Those are called miracles. They still happen. We are called to function as Jesus His disciples are. to walk on the supernatural as Jesus. Because Jesus said, you will do as I and much more!

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

You don't know that though. Because your whole reality of your life sucking so bad is based off of a lie you have created. You're life is far from terrible. You just don't know how good you have it.

Yes I do because I've tried. All of what you guys are telling me..I tried. Except reading that M.T. book, which ill do when I can.