im losing it here, please read!

[*Lu*]

hey everyone.
something really bad happened a few weeks ago. first off i'll explain, me n my bf have been going out for a year now. on our year anniversary he had to go on a 6th form trip to sweden with his music class, so i was upset tht i didnt get to see him. Anyhoo when he got back he came over straight after he got off the plane. He seemed suspiciously quiet but i didnt say anything, then asked to go on a walk, so we did, we sat for abit then he said he had something to tell me....
There was a party in sweden n he got extremely drunk.. first off he kissed a girl mate of his tht i'll admit have been warey of but always pushed aside nothing would happen...so as imagined i was v upset n started crying...but tht wasnt it...
theres this girl who has always liked him n never got over him even tho they went out 2 years ago. We dont particually get on surprise surprise. But at the party she took advantage of him. she was coming onto him all night n wen most people had left...they had sex.
Ive never been more hurt in my life. i was absolutely distraught wen he told me, i was screaming, crying, felt like i wanted to be sick it was awful!! He felt the same as well n truly regrets everything.
Because i love him i forgave him. We're still together. I even forgave the girls. Altho i dont talk to them anymore...i dont want to to be honest. Its been 2 weeks now since he told me, and its going wrong. I feel so distant from him. Like he doesnt make the effort for me, always busy. When im down he gets frustrated with me. And whats worse i feel really distant from God. When my bf was away i prayed for him the whole time, even prayed that he'd stay loyal....y is the devil in our lives. I dont understand what went wrong. i felt great with God right by my side before he left for sweden. Coz they devil got hold of him its leaked out onto me. i dont want tht!!! The other day at church i was too shy to pray out loud n my bf turned round n said i was lazy....tht lowered my confidence even more, we also had an arguement about it last night, he says he tries to help but it doesnt seem like it.....
Ooh its so horrible, i dont kno what to do!!! I feel completely alone....i dont want that part of my past to catch up with me.

Please pray for me and any advice would help loads

God Bless xxx

 

[loved]

But at the party she took advantage of him. she was coming onto him all night n wen most people had left...they had sex.

SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HIM???


That sounds a bit strange to me....he has a choice-HAD a choice in the matter,he didn't push her off did he??

If my BF EVER has sex with anyone,that would be IT .

Firstly, trust would be lost, and that is no relationship without trust.

And secondly, you're not married, you're not bound to each other to work through "affairs" so I would get the heck out of there.

What has your boyfriend said about it all?

Do you think your relationship IS from God??
These are all factors to consider whilst you decide what path to take.

 

[*Lu*]

when i sid she took advantage i meant she was sobre n he was drunk.
we're both trying to forget it all. we've been a couple for a few years in total, n been thru crap anything and made it thru.

i just feel so lost. i really dont want us to end. he said he wont drink at parties again, n he doesnt go ne where near this girl or talk to her. I believe he wont do anything with her again.

everyones gonna say leave him arent they......

 

[alwaysyoung]

I feel for you. You must be hurting terribly right now. First of all, try not to be angry. God is your Father and he loves you very much. It is not his fault that your bf was not faithful. He gave people free will--a priceless gift, but the cost of that is sin. As a Father, he cries with you when you are hurting...but let Him hold your hand through this tough time, don't push him away.

It seems like you really love your bf, so the thought of leaving him probably puts a big knot in your stomach. I think you may want to spend some alone time for awhile to clear your thoughts and be true to yourself. The worst thing for you to do at this point is to be begging for attention or reassurance of his love...that will push him away. Be a strong and confident woman of the Lord, and gain your comfort through God, not your bf right now.
If this has happened now, before marriage, it may be a difficult relationship in the future producing more pain and hurt than you have now...so I would take things very slow.
God loves you and I hope you can find comfort in his EVERLASTING arms!
Lisa

 

[BubbaGumpShrimp]

The sad thing is that those who are inclined to cheat, usually do given the opportunity.
Sometimes they grow beyond it.

But Ill say this, even as a teenager, when I was dating someone exclusively I would not have touched another young woman.
There were plenty of opportunities, some to graphic to even post here, but in each case I managed to do the right thing.

God is by your side sister
God cant make your bf not cheat.
The Spirit can scream in his ears that hes about to do wrong, but He will not force him to not sin. That is your bfs choice.

I feel for you, I know this pain your going through first hand.
I dealt with it for many years in marriage.
God does too sister, His beloved Israel whored around on Him many times.

Forgiveness is many times easy.
Repairing trust isnt so easy.
And to be honest, sometimes it is never fully repaired.
Not because we dont want to, but because once youre cheated on, and you begin to understand human nature, human weakness, you end up never being absolutely sure if the person wont cave again given the proper situation.

Its sad that by the time a sweet young woman is of marrying age, shes usually been hurt enough to have caused damage to any relationship she gets into.

Im so thankful my wife never dated anyone.
She avoided all the hurt and pain that may have been caused by some young man without any control of his hormones and actions.

Ill pray for you for sure sister.

One other thing.
Sex wont keep your bf.
If he doesnt care for you enough to wait, the most likely having sex with him isnt going to keep him later.

I say that because I know sometimes young women start to believe if only they give in like that the man will stay.
While your unmarried, if a man cant wait until you are, then he's not worth keeping around.

God bless you young sister

hey everyone.
something really bad happened a few weeks ago. first off i'll explain, me n my bf have been going out for a year now. on our year anniversary he had to go on a 6th form trip to sweden with his music class, so i was upset tht i didnt get to see him. Anyhoo when he got back he came over straight after he got off the plane. He seemed suspiciously quiet but i didnt say anything, then asked to go on a walk, so we did, we sat for abit then he said he had something to tell me....
There was a party in sweden n he got extremely drunk.. first off he kissed a girl mate of his tht i'll admit have been warey of but always pushed aside nothing would happen...so as imagined i was v upset n started crying...but tht wasnt it...
theres this girl who has always liked him n never got over him even tho they went out 2 years ago. We dont particually get on surprise surprise. But at the party she took advantage of him. she was coming onto him all night n wen most people had left...they had sex.
Ive never been more hurt in my life. i was absolutely distraught wen he told me, i was screaming, crying, felt like i wanted to be sick it was awful!! He felt the same as well n truly regrets everything.
Because i love him i forgave him. We're still together. I even forgave the girls. Altho i dont talk to them anymore...i dont want to to be honest. Its been 2 weeks now since he told me, and its going wrong. I feel so distant from him. Like he doesnt make the effort for me, always busy. When im down he gets frustrated with me. And whats worse i feel really distant from God. When my bf was away i prayed for him the whole time, even prayed that he'd stay loyal....y is the devil in our lives. I dont understand what went wrong. i felt great with God right by my side before he left for sweden. Coz they devil got hold of him its leaked out onto me. i dont want tht!!! The other day at church i was too shy to pray out loud n my bf turned round n said i was lazy....tht lowered my confidence even more, we also had an arguement about it last night, he says he tries to help but it doesnt seem like it.....
Ooh its so horrible, i dont kno what to do!!! I feel completely alone....i dont want that part of my past to catch up with me.

Please pray for me and any advice would help loads

God Bless xxx

 

[keyz]

Man, I'm really sorry. The only big thought that came to my mind is that who's to say he wouldn't do this if you would get married to him? In my mind, this would be a sure sign that I really can't trust my partner.

I'd say it's a good thing this happened outside of marriage. I don't think you deserve that. I'm not going to suggest you break up with him and I'm not going to suggest you stay with him. Continue with caution though. He made a choice that night too to get drunk. It's not that girls fault that he had sex with her.

 

[JesusWasn'tWhite]

I couldn't agree more with what Blue Impulse said.

Another thing that may have been mentioned:
You can forgive him. You should forgive him. But forgiving him doesn't necessarily mean keeping him around. You can forgive him and break up with him at the same time.

 

[Q-La]

Ｉ'll pray for you Lu. This is difficult for you but may be you should forgive and try to love him like a good friend and see how both of you feel later.

 

[Iggster]

Listen, about the drunk part. I want to tell you somethin important. I have been VERY drunk in my life. Very drunk. Drunk to the point where you think I wouldn't even remember what happened the night before.. we're talking REALLY drunk here. And you konw what? I was *still* aware of every single one of my actions, and if I had truly wanted to I could have probably prevented myself from doing stupid things. Thats why I never except being drunk for an excuse to anything.. not driving drunk, not cheating while drunk, nothing. Because I have been on the EXTREME side of drunk and I know, even though its small, there is a part of you that remains that is able to control themselves if its strong.

I agree with everyone. Even more so with blue because I had those moments when I'm puking all over myself. Nevertheless, I was still aware. I was aware enough I had too much to drink. What more if a woman gets into my pants.

 

[*Lu*]

*typing thru tears*
thank u so much for ur replies. Since posting i have been praying and thinking about God alot and feel so much closer to him already. Slowly on the mend. As for my bf im still not certain of what will happen. ive asked God to help me abit on tht one. Think what got me the most about the situation is that me n him were waiting til our wedding night to sleep together...n tht happened. i'll be honest i have slept with my bf before but we prayed for forgivness n started fresh after that, n stuck to it. The girl is sposed to be xtian too.
I do want to stay with him, just finding it hard to forget things. Like some of u have said alcohol is no excuse. I said exactly the same thing to him. My ex got drunk n slept with someone, he told me straight away...i ended it atraight away, we were only together for 2 months n this was b4 i was a xtian. Me n my bf have been together a year, n we're both xtian, so i am able to forgive him. I dont want to throw our relationship away.
How can u be sure that someone really loves u? We've always been so close. i was certain we loved each other...u dont hurt the one u love.....was i wrong about him the whole time before?

I dont drink alcohol neway...used to but i didnt like how i was so i stopped completely. Now i despise drunkeness

 

[alwaysyoung]

Praying for you. ***Hugs***