My wife and I let my childhood friend of several decades move in with us. I'm disabled, and he was in a tough living situation. He could help me and keep me company at home, and he would be in a much better situation with his own space.
He's been here for a couple of months, and the problems are piling up. He threw up a huge red flag in his first few days here when he mentioned that his source of income could be as my caretaker. SSA would pay him. The problem with that is, if I needed such a thing, that would go to my wife. But most of all, I don't need a caretaker. We shut that down. He has to get a real job. And we thought he would. He talked about it a lot before coming.
Upon arriving he spent $7,000+ on toys and electronics. My wife and I looked at each other bug eyed. He wasn't working, and where he worked before, he didn't make all that much. It turns out this is all the money he had, and 2 months later he's still not working to pay his share. I've had to hold his hand every step of the way. I've led him to 11 job applications, none of which he would have gotten on his own. Not one time has he sought employment on his own. If I'm not finding jobs and staying on him to apply, he won't.
When we found out that he had blown all the money he had, we asked him why he would do that before making sure his bills were paid and he was working. He blamed me and said because I said there are a lot of jobs here. There are a lot of jobs here, but you actually have to go get one. The job fairy doesn't drop them off to you. Yesterday he argued with me that he's not going to call and ask the businesses about his applications because that won't change anything. I've been out of the workforce for 3 years and that's not a long time. I know full well that this does matter, and I've probably called for updates about every job I've ever applied to.
Next we get to his selfishness in the home. He stays in his room most of the day, usually only coming out to eat. In his room he has 4 screens going. One he's playing online games on, one he has a game playing in the background, and on the other 2 he's streaming content. I'm a huge gamer. It's all I have to do while my wife isn't home. When he got here, everything fell apart with the internet. He maxed us out of data after a week and we had to switch over to the more expensive unlimited internet for the first time.
My internet speeds are half of what they used to be before he got here, and my games lag and I get kicked out of them a lot. We can't hardly watch TV. My wife's shows lag the whole time, and maintain the pixelated look rather than smoothing out and being clear. We couldn't figure it out. I was trying everything. We even paid the $100 to have a service technician come out and check on everything. Everything was good. Today my wife mentioned how maybe it's because he's running multiple PCs that are gaming and streaming all at once. 4 screens! So I did a speed test on my system. 300 down and 80 ping. I should be at 1,000 down and 20-30 ping. I went into his room and said I wanted to him to shut it all down so I could conduct the test 3 times, spaced several minutes apart. 900-1100 down and 21-38 ping every single time. I told him that he's the problem. I said you can't even watch or play 4 screens at once. Choose one thing at a time to do. My wife only watches one TV and show at a time, and I'm only playing one game at a time on my system. There's no reason to be sucking up all that bandwidth and slowing down the house. He hasn't even paid for anything yet, and we had to go out of our way to change the internet to accommodate him being here, which wasn't a problem at the time considering we thought he would be contributing sooner rather than later. Not to mention how rude it is to move into someone's home and take ownership of the resource. I also noticed that my ethernet cable was unplugged and plugged into a different port, and he had taken the best one for himself (the only max speed port on the router). I switched them and said this one is mine.
He argued with me for a couple hours about how it's got to be something else and it can't just be his heavy bandwidth use. I calmly kept saying the test doesn't lie. We even had him go back to having the 4 screens going at once and my down went back to 300 and the ping went back up to 80. Every test coincided with his heavy usage. He went back to streaming content while he plays games anyways. He cut 2 screens off, but is still not just sticking to one thing at a time like we always have.
I'm starting to regret this. The internet isn't the only thing that is an argument. He makes everything an argument or debate. He has zero motivation to get out and find work. Zero motivation to lessen his footprint around the home to share equally with everyone.