L
Loving
Guest
I would like to tell my brothers and sisters in Christ what has happened to me. I went to work one night and worked 12 hrs and came home to an empty house except for my youngest son (15 yr old Christian). After almost 20 years he leaves and takes my two 17 yr old rebellious twins with him in the middle of the night after I left for work with their bedroom suites. He left a note and told me they had left me. (A note.) I was completely devastated. Come to find out, they all three had been planning this for weeks and I never had a clue they was going to leave. They had a house and everything hooked up the day they left. They always put me down for loving Jesus and spending a great deal of time with Jesus. I couldn't help it. I had the passion of God within me and wanted to know Jesus. For many many months I had to deal with his verbal and mental abuse, his pot smoking, and growing his hair long. Actually for 20 yrs I had to put up with the abuse and anti-social behavior. I rededicated my life to Jesus almost a year ago after I completely broke mentally and spiritally from the abuse. (I think we were unequally yoked from the beginning, but didn't understand about being unequally yoke in my early 20's). He told me last fall right after I gave my life back to Jesus to choose him or Jesus. I chose Jesus and he left for a few days and came back. Jesus took my life over. I awoke every morning looking to him and before bed every night I praised him intensely. I thought of Jesus constantly during the day. My hubby didn't like not having the control over me anymore. Jesus had all the control and I admit it. But I was a slave to the love and Grace of my Lord-Jesus my brothers and sisters. I felt that I would give up my whole life to Jesus and put my family and husband second. He told me after he left that "Jesus came right in between us and split us far apart."
Now after three weeks of a very painful experience of divorcing three people at the same time, my twins have returned home to me with suspicions of their dad having an affair. Their dad has been staying out until 1:00 to 1:30 in the morning, when he always goes to bed at 9:00 pm. Hubby has been letting them do whatever they want. I had thought he might have been having an affair before he left but didn't try to catch him. I felt like whatever happens, happens. I have caught him having affairs during our marriage and got tired of worrying about it all the time.
I have sinned so much since he left. I have felt bitterness, anger, I have said many curse words out of anger, I have been deceitful. I am so wretched you guys. I find it hard to listen to the Lord when he talks to me. I am not listening to him and I am not obeying. I feel totally out of control. I feel the Holy Spirit within me still, but not as strong. I need strong scripture and lots of prayer. I am not focused on my Lord like I was. I am focused on a terrible situation and a man who is consumed with Satan. When I slip and say a curse word in front of hubby he will just smile at me. This man gives me the creeps, but yet I hurt. He does not hurt at all and says he is glad he left.
SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET TURNED AROUND GRAB JESUS BEFORE I DROWN IN THIS SEA OF BITTERNESS AND HURT.
Sincerely,
Loving
Now after three weeks of a very painful experience of divorcing three people at the same time, my twins have returned home to me with suspicions of their dad having an affair. Their dad has been staying out until 1:00 to 1:30 in the morning, when he always goes to bed at 9:00 pm. Hubby has been letting them do whatever they want. I had thought he might have been having an affair before he left but didn't try to catch him. I felt like whatever happens, happens. I have caught him having affairs during our marriage and got tired of worrying about it all the time.
I have sinned so much since he left. I have felt bitterness, anger, I have said many curse words out of anger, I have been deceitful. I am so wretched you guys. I find it hard to listen to the Lord when he talks to me. I am not listening to him and I am not obeying. I feel totally out of control. I feel the Holy Spirit within me still, but not as strong. I need strong scripture and lots of prayer. I am not focused on my Lord like I was. I am focused on a terrible situation and a man who is consumed with Satan. When I slip and say a curse word in front of hubby he will just smile at me. This man gives me the creeps, but yet I hurt. He does not hurt at all and says he is glad he left.
SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET TURNED AROUND GRAB JESUS BEFORE I DROWN IN THIS SEA OF BITTERNESS AND HURT.
Sincerely,
Loving
