I'm done

[jessesgirl]

I just have to rant, so you can read this and disregard or you can go ahead and click out...I have to get this out though, because I am going crazy.

I am six months pregnant and I am so over it. I am sick of being fat (especially with the knowledge that I will just be getting fatter), I feel so ugly and disgusting. I haven't just gained in my belly; its my thighs, my legs, my butt, my chest...All the maternity clothes (about $200 worth) I bought two months ago are too small now so I am aggravated because I don't want to go buy MORE maternity clothes that will just last me a couple of months just to have to buy (if I can find any to fit) MORE maternity clothes at 8 months pregnant!!!

DH and I are leaving for Florida tomorrow and I had to go spend MORE money just to look presentable. I bought a bathing suit for the beach and all they had was a red one...now I look like a big fat apple with fat legs.
So I have spent the last three days at at least 12 different stores 3 different times trying to find something to put on my body. Unfortunately we don't have anything along the lines of maternity resale (wouldnt that be great???) in our area so I am paying a fortune for these clothes. I tried Wal Mart but my chest is waay too big for the very vast majority of their shirts, my lower belly too big for the pants (and these are the XL's! ). IDK what else to do!!!!

Also, my headaches (migraines) have been HORRIBLE and there is nothing short of Tylenol (which does nothing for me) that I am allowed to take. I typically keep narcotic pain meds with me to take when they get bad and I can't touch them! I have had the most unbearable headache for three days now! I have taken Tylenol, gotten a massage, gone to the chiropractor....everything but gone to the hospital to get a shot. That is a minimum of a seven hour process.... I have also had this sinus infection for THREE MONTHS an they can't get rid of it! That can't be good for me....can it? Can it hurt the baby?

Sex is no fun, I can't get into it to save my life. :o I feel like it is a chore. I don't want to be touched, I don't want to be looked at, I am not sleeping at night...I STILL HAVE THREE MORE MONTHS!!!!!!!!! Plus, my baby (I love him so dearly and I can't wait for him to get here!) keeps hitting that darned sciatic nerve...he's killin me! It is like he LIVES on it or something these days!

My husband's grandpa just died, I didn't do the hospital room thing while he was still alive because I was "fragile" and I can't do the funeral thing for the same reason...




Ok, I am done. If you suffered through that, thanks for listening. I know that it isn't all that bad, maybe I am just over-emotional or something...
I have just had a really hard time with this whole pregnancy and it is so discouraging for me because DH and I wanted so many children.....and I am being such a baby about this one, I am afraid my other ones will be worse! That's all. Sorry. Thanks for listening!

 

[andiesmama]

awww.......I'm not PG, but I had to read your rant because of the little face you put on!

I don't think a sinus infection can hurt the baby, and as for your migranes, there's GOT to be something your doc can give you that'll work better than Tylenol, at least to help you through the worst ones!

I hope you guys have a GREAT relaxing vacation in Florida...

And feel free to rant anytime you want, it's allowed!

 

[Linnis]

They gave me something for the migraines. Be careful with them, pain can put you into preterm labor. I've been out to the ER 3 seperate times to get the IV meds. The safest thing I've tried is benedryl and I so didn't like taking it but after 3 days of a blinding headache where you puke and any sound hurts so badly.

Lemon tea helps. I don't know why but breathing it in helps clear up my sinuses for a while and relaxes me. Lemon tea actually wards off the beginning of about 90% of the headaches I've had this pregnancy...sitting relaxing having a cup of lemon tea...I swear the Lipton company was my best friend some days.

*hugs*

I totally understand how you feel. I got maternity cloths only for them not to fit come the beginning of the last month. I am wearing my husband's tee shirts because I only have two tops that don't make me look like a bum.

Hun, sorry to tell you but you are fragile, extreme stress can make you go into preterm labor which can hurt the baby.

Go to the store and get Johnson and John lavender baby bath, it's safe to use during pregnancy. Run yourself a warm bath use that and sit in and soak for an hour or so. It's been the biggest blessing in the last 10 months...I've gone through 6 bottles.

I'm 38 weeks today....I know exactly how you feel and yeah big hugs!

 

[jessesgirl]

See? Compared to you (being 38 weeks) I feel like such a big baby! I've not even been through the worst of it! You are so great Linnis!

Since I have been pregnant, I have been twice for IV meds for my migraines. That seems to be all that helps, even a little bit. I tried using benadryl and tylenol sleep aide (one in the same, just diff. colors lol) but my mother informed me AFTER I took them that benadryl has ALWAYS triggered my sinus infections, so all the while I was getting decent sleep I was flaring up my sinus infection I will try the lemon tea, though. I love green tea. some hot tea sounds great! It is just so frustrating to go through all that hullabaloo for a shot (or an IV) for my headache. It is like I told DH, it seems so silly to me when there are real emergencies that the ER need be tied up for. A lavendar bath sounds yummy! I am on my way to Target, so I shall pick some up!!!

I have been having these HORRIBLE awful dreams lately, too. My husband keeps leaving me, my baby keeps dying cause I am not taking care of him....this in itself is TERRIFYING me and causing enough stress to last me the rest of my life. I know, it really probably isn't all that bad but I guess I was a walking medicine cabinet before I got pregnant (migraine pills, hormone balancers, anti-anxiety medication) and since I have been pregnant, I have realized how much those meds really did make a difference in my every day life. I am almost there, though, and then I get to hold my baby Justin and it will ALL be worth it!

Thank you, too, Andiesmom....you're so encouraging!!! and your little girl is SOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!

Linnis, how did it go at the doctor? Obviously, they didn't induce labor, but how are you feeling???

 

[Singin4Him]

I understand how you feel, I have those days too! I'm just a little further along than you and once I hit the 26th week I popped, I was feeling the same way. I've had the smoothest pregnancy thus far and suddenly I felt huge and was in a ton of pain with my back, my sciatic nerve, headaches, nauseous which I haven't had much of this whole pregnancy...etc. Now I never know what the next day will bring.

My biggest complaint is that my baby loves to chill on my right side just under my ribs. That really makes that side sore and especially when he gives me a good kick or punch in the ribs. Good times .

O and sex, yeah forget that. My husband and I finally decided it was entirely to much work and not worth the frustration of getting around the baby belly. He's been so understanding about it though! When I express how I feel bad about not being able to fulfill those needs of his he reminds me that our marriage is not based on that and our relationship is so much deeper than that. He's very reassuring about all that.

One tip with maternity cloths, buy them just a tad bigger than you need them. Give yourself room to grow into them. I learned that after buying a few shirts and then outgrowing them in a month when I "popped". Clothes shopping is pretty frustrating! We do actually have a resale shop in the metroplex called "Kid-to-Kids", they have maternity clothes, check them out I'm sure there is one near you. I know there is one in Mansfield. Also you might check out "Once upon child" they might have some as well.

I'm sorry to hear you're not enjoying your pregnancy, I'll keep you in my prayers! It will be well worth it in the end!

 

[Linnis]

For some odd reason sex has become fun again in the last month. Maybe there is hope for both of you!

I swear lemon tea and lavender bubble bath.....life savers.

I hated when he was sitting up in my ribs but now that he's on my bladder and intentines it's not that much better! LoL, we all need to complain once in a while *but* we all know logically we can't be pregnant forever, right?

Apparently I'm just nearing the end and my body is saying it's had enough but my baby is fine and wants to stay in there a little longer. Every day closer to full term, everyday his lungs before more developed and that's what makes it worth it. Even if I complain about wanting it over! Now!

 

[RoseofLima]

Not to burst your bubble or anything- but it only gets harder when the baby is born.

Pregnancy is like boot camp for parenting...it's sort of more intense selflessness--but it is preparing you for what motherhood is really like-which is learning what true love is- an act of the will that wills and acts for the very best for the other- even to the point of joyful sacrfice.

I am sorry it is so hard for you But my advice is prayerful surrender...to be thankful that you are gifted to have the gift of pregnancy- which so many people desire and cannot have.

Give voice to your negative feelings and complaints (they are very real, and very legitamite)- so that you can release them...but then actually release them..don't get caught in the whirlwind of negative thinking. Every time you catch yourself thinking "This stupid pregnancy...or Ugh I hate...Or I feel so horrible..." Immediately whisper a prayer of gratitude for your baby and your pregnancy....and then think of three blessings about your pregnancy.

Look at your maternity clothes as an investment- if you buy them now- you won't have to buy many more ever again....or you can bestow an awesome blessing upon someone who really doesn't have the means to buy maternity clothes.

 

[jessesgirl]

Thank you Jesus!!! I'd end up killing someone if it were any longer than it will already be!!!

 

[PegasusOnFire]

I have had migranes since the day I conceived, that was a little over 7 weeks ago, I have to lock myself in a very dark room, I have blackout curtains up in two rooms now.

I have heartburn and an 18 month old to conted with.

I totally feel your pain.

BTW I will be just like that when I am 6 months. Though hopefully this time around I won't go into the severe depression that I did when I was pregnant with my daughter.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

I'm sorry hun I remember that feeling of disgust when I looked in the mirror...and my own grandfather died when I was pregnant but I went to see him in the hospital and I went to the funeral...it's the hardest thing I ever did. My heart burn got bad in my last few months...eventho I didn't know what it was til I described it to my husband...I drank milk like crazy after that it helped so much!

Pregnant women are beatiful..so that means you! At the end of all of this you will have one of the greatest gifts you will ever recieve Hang in there hun

 

[Krystina661]

I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I know what your going through. I had a really tough pregnancy (had my son 3 weeks ago) and remember exactly how I felt at 6 months. I remember crying all the time because my body was drastically changing, my hormones all over the place and not being able to sleep was another horrible thing I had to endure. Plus I had some anxiety before being pregnant, but during my pregnancy it was sooo much worse. There were times I literally thought the pregnancy would kill me and I wouldn't survive lol. What is weird is that in my last month, for some reason things got a lil easier. I did get a lot bigger and that was miserable, but you just gotta keep telling yourself that you wont be like this forever, and that you WILL be back to your old self again. You are being blessed with a child, and once you see your baby you will be amazed at how quickly your mind starts to forget how hard things were. God is right there along with you

Please feel better I'll say a prayer for you ...

 

[jessesgirl]

Thank you all so much You are all so wonderful and precious to me! I am glad I am not alone and that the most of you have felt this way at one point or another!!!! I have my days, I know a lot of this can easily be contributed to not having the meds to keep my anxiety under control, at least even a little bit.

DH left for florida this morning, I cried the WHOLE way home. I am petrified at the thought of flying, I don't want to fly and I don't want him to fly...but he made it (Thank you Jesus ) and I go tomorrow. Please keep us in your prayers, as I believe very strongly in the power of prayer. Thank you, thank you, thank you ladies! You all have been so wonderful...and I shall see you all next week!!!

 

[RoseofLima]

Praying for a safe journey for you!!

 

[lin1235]

I'm so sorry it's so hard for you! I'm almost 8 months now (35 weeks) and every time I read how hard pregnancy is for some women I feel guilty. The last 3 weeks or so were hard for me, but really I've been so blessed overall. Not even morning sickness! But since I hit the 3rd trimester I've been throwing up, can't sleep, uncomfortable etc. I heard that women who have it easy early on tend to have a hard time later, and vice versa. That's definitely true in my case, maybe yours as well? Hopefully things get better for you soon!

As for your sinus infection: If you have a serious illness you can sometimes go into labour early, because your body becomes an unsafe place for the baby. There are antibiotics that you can take (I'm on amoxcillin for a sinus infection right now, it helps SOOOOO much) - ask your doctor. Good luck!

 

[zoeykristanyc]

I'm so sorry...rant all you want. i know how painful those months are...with the twins I felt like a WHALE. Just think of that beautiful blessing inside of you

 

[Singin4Him]

How are you feeling? Any better?

 

[purpleunicorn_Andi]

I remember being pregnate with my son... at 6 months I was measuring full term (I had 3X too much fluid)...maybe it was 5 months... he was born at 31 weeks... I was probly weighing over 200 when he was born. (I started out prepregnancy weight that time arround 140 or 150). so far all is well this time arround.
but I remember how missirible I was those last few weeks before my son was born... and how missirible I was the 6 weeks he was in the hospital after he was born... will be praying that the migrains lessen, or go away all together, and that you have a good trip...