I'm curious....

[fieldmouse3]

Does God choose our spouses (regardless of whether or not we actually listen and marry that person), or does He let us choose? What about weird situations where either the person God chose for you marries someone else, or you marry someone else...what happens to the other person? Do they have to remain single forever? What are everyone's thoughts on the subject, and why do you believe what you do about it?

 

[Stanfi]

That's a real good question. I started a thread in marriage asking people if God gave them their spouse. Some feel they meet their spouse by divine appointment. Others feel that God gives us several matches a allows us to choose. I am not to sure myslef.

In terms of someone that you are supposed to marry then marrying someone else. I would want to believe that God would provide you with someone else, and not cause you to suffer (long term anyway) because of someone else's disobidience.

However, I would almost go along with anything on the subject. I have thought about it a lot recently, and am rather confused.

Looking forward to the responses.

 

[the_man]

Does God choose our spouses (regardless of whether or not we actually listen and marry that person), or does He let us choose? What about weird situations where either the person God chose for you marries someone else, or you marry someone else...what happens to the other person? Do they have to remain single forever? What are everyone's thoughts on the subject, and why do you believe what you do about it?

I believe that we all have to choice to marry who we want to marry. Just as we have the choice accept salvation or not...God is not going to force us to marry any one person. However, as a Christian (God being the center of my life) most of the major decisions I've made in my life (e.g. what college to go to, what job to take, what state to live in), I've asked for guidance from God as to what I should do and with every decision, He has worked out all things for good. I don't think the decison to get married and the person to marry will be too different.


The following questions seem to imply that there is one person for everyone...a.k.a soul mate theory. I don't subscribe to the soul mate theory. I subscribe to the theory that states for any given person there are a subset of people that will make suitable spouses for them. The reason I believe in the latter theory is because it is I see in the Bible. So no, they do not have to remain single forever, they can choose to marry God permitting.

 

[Hewitt]

I think we can't fully grasp this whole concept because we don't fully understand who God is. From our perspective, I think we have the ability to select our spouse. I think God will open doors and help us decide, but we have the power to decide. With that, God is all-knowing and in control throughout the entire process. I don't think we'll ever fully understand that God is all-knowing and all-powerful, yet chooses to give us free will.

For me, I know God equipped me to make decisions and I intend to do so. If my God is for me, what could go wrong? When I ask God for help, he's there and the same applies to finding a wife. If I need help making a decision, I know God will be there for me.

By the way, nice avatar the_man.

 

[the_man]

By the way, nice avatar the_man.

Thanks, I see you have the whole band jamming

 

[hamster_head]

This topic is a more complicated issue that has to go back to topics like free-will, an all knowing God, the concept of eternity/infinite time.

The following is based on commonly accepted truths about scriptures, but unfortunately I can't remember any of the scriptures to quote...so don't trust me unless it's really there.

God knows everything, past, present, and future. God exists in eternity...or put in another way, God exists outside of time. So yes, God knows who you will marry, no question there. We also know that we are given free will...whatever we choose to do, we can. The common argument is "How can one have free will, if every action of that person's life is already known by God...or you are already destined to lead a certain life". I think the answer to that is - Because you do not know what choices you are going to make, you still have the free will to make them. A common example is Judas. He was destined to betray Jesus, but he did not know he was destined to do this, and he chose the action.

So...I would think knowing these things, the answer to your question would be: God knows who you are going to pick for a husband/wife, but when you pick this person it will be your choice. All the choices you made, regarding listening to God's will, prior to your marriage choice, will determine if you end up making a choice that is pleasing or displeasing to God.

 

[Hewitt]

Hamster and I pretty much said the same thing.

 

[Buskanaka]

I agree with hewitt.

the soulmate theory also seems to say that all you have to do is find "the one" and everything will be great, no problems etc. in your relationship. That's just wrong, no one is perfect and marriage is a lot of hard work no matter who you marry.

 

[Onwardclimb]

Does God choose our spouses (regardless of whether or not we actually listen and marry that person), or does He let us choose?

I think its both. I believe that God does/can/will choose our spouses, BUT where free will comes in is you DON'T have to go along with His choice, and you are free to choose for yourself. In such cases I think its wise for one to prepare for the consequences of that, though. God knows best, and wants the BEST for us, whether it be singleness, or a specific person. IF a person rejects God's best, then they basically accept the consequences of doing so.

What about weird situations where either the person God chose for you marries someone else, or you marry someone else...what happens to the other person? Do they have to remain single forever?

I doN'T know what would happen in situations like that, BUT I tend to lean towards God knowing their response in advance and IF it IS infact HIS will it WILL be done, whether its now or later, and despite whether or not the person who didn't listen to God has to go through multiple marriages that they chose before FINALLY surrendering to God's will and leading.

However, from reading the story of Isaac and Rebekka which relates to the subject, I believe that this is kind of up in the air. Genesis 24 is clear that IF Rebekkah wouldn't come back with the servant then the servant was released from his oath to Abraham. I used to think that that meant that Isaac would be free from the union too, BUT the Bible NEVER says that. It's possible that God could have chosen someone else for Isaac, but then again its also possible that God could have changed the heart of Rebekkah and brought her to him in a different way. Whatever the possibilities may be, I think its very important to note that Abraham NEVER told his servant, "if the girl doesn't come back with you just pick up a girl who will come back with you and is from that area". I guess the thing that gets me is that even though Rebekkah was the one God chose for Isaac, she was given a choice to go or not. She went, so we really DON'T know what would have happened if she rejected.

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[Onwardclimb]

I agree with hewitt.

the soulmate theory also seems to say that all you have to do is find "the one" and everything will be great, no problems etc. in your relationship. That's just wrong, no one is perfect and marriage is a lot of hard work no matter who you marry.

That really depends on how you look at it. I personally believe in the one that God has chosen, yet I do NOT think that just because God chooses my marriage it will be problem free and/or my spouse will be perfect--yet ALL things ARE possible with God, and I certainly would NOT complain if that were to happen . Yet thinking back to Hosea I DO know that wonderful spouses/marriages are NOT always the case when God chooses someone for you to marry. His best isn't always our best, but what can I say, I STILL WANT HIS BEST !!!!

God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[Hewitt]

I don't think God chooses, I think he knows. There is a difference. Where is the free will if God made the decision? Yeah, he is all-powerful but he still gives us the ability to do things ourselves.

 

[Onwardclimb]

Hewitt,
I believe He both chooses, and knows!!!

IMHO, as His sheep we have the "free will" to follow Him/His plan or not.

God is most DEFINITELY all powerful, and because He is such when I gave my life over to Him I surrendered my "power" and "will" to His, and I'm trusting Him to lead/guide me through the race He has mapped out for me to run.

If any of you guys are interested, here's a link to a series of sermons that I think are just WONDERFUL called "God Is A Matchmaker" by Derek Prince. Just scroll down to #10 and work your way up to hear the whole series:

http://resources.christianity.com/dpm/search.jhtml?text=God+Is+A+Matchmaker&type=title&browse=


God bless,
Onwardclimb

 

[hamster_head]

Hamster and I pretty much said the same thing.

Well, then you must be a smart man. =P

 

[Katty]

Perhaps... we'll never know eh? Do soulmates exist? maybe... do I believe they do? to a certain extent, but then again, thats debateable, but isn't everything? Life's little surprises

~Katty~

 

[mamaneenie]

I hope I am allowed to post here since I am not single. I have been married for 3 years in April. Hope no-one minds, I couldn't find anywhere on here, saying I wasn't allowed to.

I do not believe in the "soul mate theory" I believe that there are people who will go well together in a marriage and if both people decide, I am sure that God can bless it.

I will tell my story. My first serious boyfriend, at 22, we talked of marriage. This guy even had a prophecy that was saying that we were right together. Can't remember the exact words, but we both felt it was applying to us and we were to get married. We had only been a couple for a few months, but had been friends for quite a while. The problem was that he had become emotionally abusive and I didn't feel it was getting either of us anywhere. He is not the only person to blame, I made a few mistakes as well. Basically we made a mutual decision to break it off. I do believe that God would have blessed our marriage, had we decided to go forward with it. But in the end we both decided it wasn't what we wanted.

To answer your question about people who miss the "right one", I am not single. I am married with a 2 yo boy. I met my husband 2 years after I broke up with the first guy. Last I heard, the first guy is still single, but that was almost 3 years ago now.