I'm afraid...

[IloveGod33]

you seem to care, that shows you him you love him..

actions speeak louder then words....

 

[Caty]

I don't kow if I really love Him or if I'm just afraid of Hell. That feeling came over me months ago and I still don't know the answer.

You said, "you seem to care."
I thank you for trying to help me, but I don't see how you can tell anythig just from a post. God see all these terrible thoughts that run through my mind all day. When I try to jsut move on and overlook them, feel guilty & unforgiveable, so I'm stuck in the same spot.

 

[Arphaxad12]

Hi Caty and all other OCD sufferers,

Another two characteristics of the OCD profile is weak identity and no close personal relationships. Both things attributable to bad parental upbringing. Substance abuse by parents can also be a major factor.

As I suggested to Caty: Sit down and write a description of yourself on paper. Write all the things you like in life, all things you dislike or even hate, the things you strongly believe, all the things you don't believe, etc. Write all the things that are "YOU." And then read it back to yourself out loud. Do this to strengthen your own self-identity and self-image. And above all, be brutally honest. No one but you has to read what you wrote.

As far as a lack of close personal relationships: Possibly force yourself to join a self-help group, or any group for that matter where you can develop friendeships or at least personal acquaintances. OCD is often used as a substitute for close personal relationships or friendships.

Best Blessings,
"Arph"
------

 

[IloveGod33]

i broke up with my boyfriend and gave up on all my worldy desires because i know he loves me and i know i love him. i trust him.

well because you keep coming back to post about it, if you didnt care you wouldnt be worried about it or posting here.

i feel that way sometimes but i realize its only when i am weak. The things people say makes me feel bad sometimes but i realized that none of those things is important when you have someone great as God. The author of your life.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Our emotions are such unreliable sources of truth. At least mine are. I have struggled with depression and there are times when i have felt abandoned unloved and far from God. But God's word tells me a different story Hey isn't that a song?

YouTube - Casting Crowns Praise You In The Storm

 

[gratefulgrace]

Sorry good song but I reallly meant to post this one The Voice of Truth

YouTube - Voice Of Truth - Casting Crowns

 

[Caty]

I don't want to listen to those songs, because to me it's something I'll never have.
Yeah, I like to hear uplifting stuff on here but some people bring me down. I dunno, though why I keep coming back. I'm starting to want to say "I just don't care." & I want to give up. But I'm WAY TOO scared to give up. But I'm so tired, Ive been so long with out any answers, that really touch me. & nothing is ever changing. I don't know why I hold on. because I feel like its for nothing & that makes me cry beccause I jsut want thigs to be back to normal again. I hate my life so bad, I can't enjoy anything or anyone anymore. & I want God to be num 1 in my life, but I'm afraid either He hates me or He wants nothign to do with me because Im unforgiveable so whats the point??

 

[Stephen Kendall]

I cant remember if I was anxious or not. I'm not strong anymore. I'm about to jsut give up and whenever I die, find out what happens. Because too many things are being thrown at me and I know it's all my fault because I've made it to where He can't forgive me. I've "cut myself off" from that. I think I'm out of His grace.

One thing that I do and will till I don't need to, is to say within my heart and mind, "Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!" I try to drown out the thoughts of the world, the doubting mind of the world to praise God and invite his stay within me. I know that I don't deserve this, but I want it. I know that he is good, despite what others say or what my mind would recklessly add-up or come to a conclusion of. It works! Little miracles happen and I feel closer to God. Love you Caty.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Caty you sound very depressed as well as OCD. Are you in a doctors care and have you told Him/her about how you feel. It may be there is some medical help to augment the prayers that are going to the Lord on your behalf. No one should have to suffer so much and God cares about this. I believe there is help for you DO NOT GIVE UP. I can't relate to how you feel about music as it is something that soothes my troubled soul so much. I think King David found strength and spiritual health in his praise music and psalms. But that is OK you know I care. gg

 

[Caty]

thanks, I just feel like those little things. like not wanting to hear the songs or feeling like I just should care & wanting to give up or the anger I have at God sometimes are what is really me and that its like these "signs" that Im unforgiveable. & that the times I feel close to God (rare) and I feel safe and that maybe I really didnt committ that sin, I worry they are jsut feelings and wishes and that Im worse off. Im not as depressed as I used to be, but Im def. not a happy person.

 

[JohnnieGuy]

Caty, please, go to the website knowimsaved.com and seek help there. The Lord is calling you and the devil is attacking you, trying to keep you away from Him with fear. Do you feel that if you were to just forget about it that the fear would go away? That happened for me too, until i realized it was Jesus calling me to Himself. It took a long time, and a lot of pain and mental war, but He found me.

 

[Caty]

How do i know Jesus is calling me or my ocd is just my problem.

 

[JohnnieGuy]

Jesus is calling you, or the devil would not be attacking you in this way. He wants you to simply trust in Him for your salvation. You cannot save yourself. You must trust in Christ. And if you are doing this then I suggest arming yourself with the Word of God. God says it, I believe it, that ends it. Send the devil and his lies packin.

In Christ,

John

 

[Caty]

people have said that ot me before but whta if God is telling me that im unforgivebale with that verse about the uf-sin??

 

[gratefulgrace]

Jesus continually calls to us each and every day. gg

 

[Caty]

But what about me, the things (ive thought/said) thats why i dont know how to tell if its Jesus or my vain worrying.

 

[the.Sheepdog]

Caty dearest, Jesus calls you every day, every hour, every moment. You are the reason God had a son named Jesus come to earth to free us from sin and punishment. He did it so you would be free always.

You are free forever and today and tomorrow and every minute and second in between. Every time your OC pops up and says "what if", Jesus is there to say "I am here right now"

 

[Caty]

But that's not it. To you all it's not big deal but I have to hear these thoughts inside my minda nd they are bad. I dn't know if I hate God or If I have OCD. I don't know if Ive commiteed this sin or if its my ocd, I dont think I can tell teh difference anymore. & there are soem people that Gad will not forgive (isnt there?). How do I know Im not one of them.

 

[gratefulgrace]

Eph 6:16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil {one.}

The Bible calls what you are going through in your thoughts "firey darts" or flaming arrows. They come from the enemy Satan, and pop into your mind randomly. They are the accusing thoughts that say you can never be saved or they bring back to your mind doubts about why you think you are so unworthy and say that God could not love you. You are under spiritual attack! Big TIME. Ephesians tells us how to quench these firey darts in Ephesians 6. Your job is to just believe that God loves you even though you do not feel like it now. His Word says he does, so He does! Do not make that truth dependent on HOW YOU FEEL. Keep reminding yourself of God's love for you as shown in what Jesus did FOR YOU! This will protect your mind and strengthen you spiritually so that the flaming arrows will eventually lose their power to hold control over your thoughts. Do you have a Christian friend who will pray over and with you? I think that would help strengthen your faith as well. Someone you trust as a true Christian who understands you. May the peace of God mount guard over your mind and mind today.




2Jo 1:3Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and from Jesus Christ, the Father's Son, will be with us in truth and love.

 

[Caty]

But to me, these thoughts just dont pop up randomly (well some do--when I have my mind off thigns) but Im thinking baout this constantly. so its all them time and I mean if they are coming from ME then God coudn;t save, me Im afraid He hates me.