I'm afraid to get married! =[

[Blank123]

Thanks again guys but most of u got a little off topic the real pressure i feel is that i am afraid to get married because of the fear that my marriage might end up like my parents like arguing all the time.

But yeah I am taking things slowly... :/

yeah but taking it slowly plays into that. it gives you time to talk to him about your fears and work on that with him (if this is the guy you choose to marry). it gives you time for any outside counseling with your pastor or another strong Christian to give yourself the skills to be able to handle conflict in a much more Christian manner rather than just resorting to what you grew up with and just fight all the time with your husband. It also gives you time to see if this is even the guy you *want* to marry. all of that will play in to feeling more comfortable about the idea of committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life.

 

[dragonfruit29]

I would say take things slowly, like everyone else has. Take the time to get to know your boyfriend, and see how things go. Do you two fight all the time? Do you feel comfortable around each other? Things may change in the future as well, although if you two are comfortable around each other now, and talk out your problems in a calm manner, then hopefully things won't end up as bad as the problems your parents have. I can't stress enough the importance of truly getting to know your boyfriend. My fiance and I knew each other for two years before we started dating, and we dated for nearly two years before he asked me to marry him. I feel that I know him well, and I know that if I have a problem, I can go to him and talk about my problems, and we can find a solution together. (I've dated men who just freak right out when I bring up a problem- not pleasant at all!) The time will come when it's right for you two to take the next step. Just go slowly, learn about your boyfriend as much as you can, and hopefully things will work out well. (If you want to talk about things more, feel free to PM me- I'm more than willing to share my experiences, both good and bad)

 

[r1nn]

I agree with everyone else when they say to take it slow, and it's good that you are. Just try to learn from your parent's mistakes and any mistakes that you may make or have made in relationships. And I am just speaking from experience here. You will get hurt in relationships. But you will also gain so much...well, awesomeness? from having a relationship as well. It's really hard for me to explain.

Another thing I would like to bring up is that you said your parents were fighting about trivial things...well, the fact that YOU realize it's trivial is a good sign. Just think before you say and do things and you will be fine. Try to not worry about it too much and if you really are concerned, I recommend bringing it up to your boyfriend. Openness is also key.

 

[Trashionista]

You're 21. I don't think the vast majority of people are really gung ho to get married at that age.

 

[lilphotographer88]

I completely agree with everyone who has said to take it slow. I am engaged to the most wonderful man for me! But we have been dating for over a year and we've known each other for about a year and a half and he just proposed to me about a month or so ago. But we still haven't even set a date yet for the wedding. We are going very slow, because eventhough we love each other so much and we have so much that we share we still don't know if God's will might change. Everyday we talk about it a little bit and we were scared to death by marriage when we started dating because his mother has been divorced and re-married about 3 or 4 times. And my parents are divorced and my dad re-married in less than a 6 months after the fact, and again he's not happy.

Just express you feelings about it, and if he is really serious and if he is a good christian man, he will respect your opinions and listen to what you have to say and not freak out. In every relationship communication is one of the most important things, and you both have to be able to express your feelings about everything and then listen to the other person and repsect there opinions and feelings. Ask questions, talk talk talk talk. That is huge!! You have to be able to talk about it and not argue. I'm not saying there won't be arguements. My fiance and I have had our spats, but they don't even last 15 minutes usually and then we realize okay we ned to calm down and talk it out. And we always do and then we figure out a way to fix it, and there is usually compromise from both people but it always gets resolved.

I hope this helped.

 

[Mnse87]

I would say take things slowly, like everyone else has. Take the time to get to know your boyfriend, and see how things go. Do you two fight all the time? Do you feel comfortable around each other?

We haven't really gotten into a big argument and sometimes I wonder why...I mean last time I told him that we have never fought...I asked him if there was something that he might be holding back and he said no...I do feel strange that we haven't fought...Just like tiny arguments over dumb stuff...

We love being with each other like were together every day either he comes over to my house or I go over to his house its like we can't get enough of each other. Then when I don't seem him I feel so empty, sad, lonely idk I just have to see him everyday or I just don't feel right and I know he feels the same. Is that strange or what?

N of course I will ask for your help if anything ever comes up... thanks.

 

[Mnse87]

You're 21. I don't think the vast majority of people are really gung ho to get married at that age.

If you believe you've found true love I don't think you just want to let it go...

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Is that strange or what?

People here may try to convince you that it is strange or even wrong.

But it's not. You are very normal

If you believe you've found true love I don't think you just want to let it go...

This was certainly us. My husband is 21.

 

[Mnse87]

People here may try to convince you that it is strange or even wrong.

But it's not. You are very normal



This was certainly us. My husband is 21.

SuPeR! =]