I'm afraid I commited the sin of blaspheming the Spirit

[penguinlino]

First, I'm sorry if this is unrelated, I'm new here and the thread I found called "I'm afraid I commited the unpardonable sin" was listed under "Prayer Wall", so I'm trying to ask here. I'm really sorry for making this unrelated but I'm really scared and confused.

If you do decide to read this, I would prefer to tell you something first:
I have this weird "instinct" (I'm sorry, this is the only word I can think of), where I see something dangerous (or know something is dangerous), don't want to do it, but get overwhelmed by this "instinct" and do it anyway.
Example: I see a knife, and I'm scared of getting hurt by it. But then this feeling of touching it and being unhurt overwhelms me, telling me to do it, and I will feel really pushed to do it. I end up touching it and not getting hurt.

So what happens is that I believe that blaspheming against the Spirit is by saying "The Spirit is evil. It is not good." (I'm really sorry for typing this out, I just want to put it honestly and accurately, what goes on in my mind.) Then the "instinct" comes back, and I think of the sentences above (as in the ones I don't want to repeat). I don't believe that, and I don't want to think that, I want to only think good things and I'm really scared of blaspheming, but I keep on thinking that over and over (especially when I'm trying to fall asleep. I'm trying to follow God's Commandments more, and well I used to think sinful stuff before I sleep, but now I'm trying not to, and it's hard for me to fall asleep. I've been suffering from insomnia and bad sleep the past two days.).

What scared me into asking here is that today, I was at tuition, and I thought the sentences above multiple times. Several minutes after I last thought them, there was this melodious, cheerful (i think) tune, and it sounded like a phone ringtone. The whole tuition class heard it, and it came from my area, more specifically, me. But not exactly me. Like a little bit below the ceiling (quite low), a distance in front of my head. The problems are:
~ My phone had no notifications, calls or messages. Anyway it is set at Do Not Disturb and powered off, so it should not alert me even if I had those. Also, that ringtone didn't sound like one of the default available ones, and definitely not one that I have chosen as my ringtone.
~ Everyone else seated around me either had no phone or it couldn't have been them (based on what they said, and either way, they don't seem like they would lie about a phone ringtone, and it sounded more specifically from my area.)

I was scared, but I had to sit through tuition, so I waited for roughly 30 minutes to an hour, then called my mom during break. "You did it unintentionally," she said. I calmed down a bit and went back to tuition after the break.

During the rest of tuition, the "instinct" became more dangerous. (I'm sorry) "The Spirit is Satan." (I'm really sorry, but like I said earlier, I want to be accurate) I don't believe that it is and I don't want to either, but I couldn't control myself and repeated it a few times (two, three, four?)

Nothing happened. Now I'm at home. Since tuition ended, it's been two hours and fourteen minutes (when I'm typing this sentence).

I'm really scared and I hope you guys can help. I'm also sorry for typing sins in this message, and for posting this in the wrong section.

Also, the age requirement for this website is 21 I guess, but I want to be honest. I was seriously desperate, so I put in a random age. I'm actually 12, and that's why I am going to tuition.

 

[createdtoworship]

First, I'm sorry if this is unrelated, I'm new here and the thread I found called "I'm afraid I commited the unpardonable sin" was listed under "Prayer Wall", so I'm trying to ask here. I'm really sorry for making this unrelated but I'm really scared and confused.

If you do decide to read this, I would prefer to tell you something first:
I have this weird "instinct" (I'm sorry, this is the only word I can think of), where I see something dangerous (or know something is dangerous), don't want to do it, but get overwhelmed by this "instinct" and do it anyway.
Example: I see a knife, and I'm scared of getting hurt by it. But then this feeling of touching it and being unhurt overwhelms me, telling me to do it, and I will feel really pushed to do it. I end up touching it and not getting hurt.

So what happens is that I believe that blaspheming against the Spirit is by saying "The Spirit is evil. It is not good." (I'm really sorry for typing this out, I just want to put it honestly and accurately, what goes on in my mind.) Then the "instinct" comes back, and I think of the sentences above (as in the ones I don't want to repeat). I don't believe that, and I don't want to think that, I want to only think good things and I'm really scared of blaspheming, but I keep on thinking that over and over (especially when I'm trying to fall asleep. I'm trying to follow God's Commandments more, and well I used to think sinful stuff before I sleep, but now I'm trying not to, and it's hard for me to fall asleep. I've been suffering from insomnia and bad sleep the past two days.).

What scared me into asking here is that today, I was at tuition, and I thought the sentences above multiple times. Several minutes after I last thought them, there was this melodious, cheerful (i think) tune, and it sounded like a phone ringtone. The whole tuition class heard it, and it came from my area, more specifically, me. But not exactly me. Like a little bit below the ceiling (quite low), a distance in front of my head. The problems are:
~ My phone had no notifications, calls or messages. Anyway it is set at Do Not Disturb and powered off, so it should not alert me even if I had those. Also, that ringtone didn't sound like one of the default available ones, and definitely not one that I have chosen as my ringtone.
~ Everyone else seated around me either had no phone or it couldn't have been them (based on what they said, and either way, they don't seem like they would lie about a phone ringtone, and it sounded more specifically from my area.)

I was scared, but I had to sit through tuition, so I waited for roughly 30 minutes to an hour, then called my mom during break. "You did it unintentionally," she said. I calmed down a bit and went back to tuition after the break.

During the rest of tuition, the "instinct" became more dangerous. (I'm sorry) "The Spirit is Satan." (I'm really sorry, but like I said earlier, I want to be accurate) I don't believe that it is and I don't want to either, but I couldn't control myself and repeated it a few times (two, three, four?)

Nothing happened. Now I'm at home. Since tuition ended, it's been two hours and fourteen minutes (when I'm typing this sentence).

I'm really scared and I hope you guys can help. I'm also sorry for typing sins in this message, and for posting this in the wrong section.

Also, the age requirement for this website is 21 I guess, but I want to be honest. I was seriously desperate, so I put in a random age. I'm actually 12, and that's why I am going to tuition.

Hey brother, there is a warning of apostacy in scripture, but also there is an invitation to holiness. I made a thread about this here:

Can you lose your salvation

I hope that answers your question. I didn't read your whole post. But if it's like the thread you are talking about I posted this over there too. You can message me if you want to talk about it, but I have a lot of threads open and may not have time to debate it fully here.

 

[LoricaLady]

My first prayer is for you to learn to discern the difference between the voice of the Good Shepherd and what He called "the voice of the stranger" i.e. the devil. The devil communicates! Big time! And since he is the father of lies, he lies big time. The fact that you know those thoughts are evil shows that he has not taken full control of your mind. Many, many people report having such scary thoughts, even sometimes hearing them audibly. The devil and his crew of demons get around.

From my reading of the Bible the sin of blaspheming the Holy Spirit was when the Pharisees accused Messiah of doing His miracles by the power of the devil. Now, as Messiah came as a man, His miracles were performed, as our are to be, by the Holy Spirit. That is why the Pharisees were blaspheming the Holy Spirit. If the devil puts a thought into your mind like "He did miracles by the devil" you aren't sinning unless you buy it. I doubt you will.

The way to get rid of those scary thoughts is first through prayer of course. IF you are very healthy, a once a week 24 hour water only fast will do wonders for you just in general. (If you are not healthy, well, fasting can hurt your adrenals.)

Learn how to fill your mind more and more with thoughts the Lord wants you to have. Where is our greatest spiritual battle? In the mind! "Be transformed" by what? "By the renewing of your mind." Also, how do you defeat strongholds, like demonic thoughts and voices in your head? The mind again. "The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty to the destroying of strongholds - casting down vain imaginations and everything that exalts itself against the knowledge of YHWH" aka God "and bringing every thought captive to Messiah."

Now, most people's minds are utterly overflowing with junk, trivia, even not uncommonly out and out sin. I have found the way to combat that is to fill my mind with the Word. That is what the Lord tells us to do in places like Joshuah 1:8-9 and Psalm 1. Read them and see how to be successful and free.

I pray for your mind to be filled with light and truth and the Word above all. It will be one way or another. I have learned I can't walk two paths, one with worldly thoughts and then still walk the "narrow" path with Wordly thoughts. No one can.