me and my girlfreind have been going out for a short time ( ive known her for a while) and it seem God is showing us that we should get married, i love her and she loves me. there are countless things we have wittnessed and endured together and through it all we have survived. our relationship is built on the foundation of God. im on the brink of engagement, any pointers?
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im 17 and thinking marrage
- Thread starter J_prime
- Start date
Don't.
Sorry, but you're 17... and there's just no need, in my opinion, for someone to marry so young in this day and age. No need to start breeding farm help, no need to split the expenses - no need to rush. Have fun! Date or court this young lady! Find out what it is like to be an adult before you find out what it's like to be a husband. I think it would be a very hard thing to learn both at the same time. You still have so much -higher education, the pursuit of a career, living on your OWN... don't get me wrong, 17 is not a child, but I know that there are a lot of people who seem to see the "signs" that they are meant to be with this other person at 17, and by 23 you don't even know where that person is and sometimes don't particularly want to.
I know that's not the answer you wanted, but in my opinion, that's my pointer. Learn to be a man and then a husband and then a father. Seems like that order works better than any other, doesn't it?
Sorry, but you're 17... and there's just no need, in my opinion, for someone to marry so young in this day and age. No need to start breeding farm help, no need to split the expenses - no need to rush. Have fun! Date or court this young lady! Find out what it is like to be an adult before you find out what it's like to be a husband. I think it would be a very hard thing to learn both at the same time. You still have so much -higher education, the pursuit of a career, living on your OWN... don't get me wrong, 17 is not a child, but I know that there are a lot of people who seem to see the "signs" that they are meant to be with this other person at 17, and by 23 you don't even know where that person is and sometimes don't particularly want to.
I know that's not the answer you wanted, but in my opinion, that's my pointer. Learn to be a man and then a husband and then a father. Seems like that order works better than any other, doesn't it?
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Ceris
I R the Nutness (and I love sedatta )
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Slooooooooooooooooowwwwwww dowwwwwwn man, slow down.
You may have known her for a while but you said you have only been seriously dating her for a little while. Now it may be entirely true that she is the girl that you will marry, but do NOT propose right now, not at your age. There is no rush. It is ok (and I highly reccommend it) to wait a few years.
You may have known her for a while but you said you have only been seriously dating her for a little while. Now it may be entirely true that she is the girl that you will marry, but do NOT propose right now, not at your age. There is no rush. It is ok (and I highly reccommend it) to wait a few years.
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Oblivious
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It sounds like you have a strong relationship, so then what's the rush? 
You're only 17!!! Things are easy right you - you're still in high school. Have you thought about college? Where you're going to live? How you're going to support yourselves?
You're only 17!!! Things are easy right you - you're still in high school. Have you thought about college? Where you're going to live? How you're going to support yourselves?
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Diane_Windsor
Senior Contributor
Welcome to the forums J 
Are you ready to support you and your intended financially? Are you two ready to leave your parents and make your own way in this world? Are you two ready to finance and pay for your own college educations? If you are not financially prepared to support yourself and your intended then you are not ready for marriage. And there are so many more questions you should be asking yourselves right now too . . . .
Have you talked to your parents or pastor about this?
diane
PS: Read this article from The Knot.
Are you ready to support you and your intended financially? Are you two ready to leave your parents and make your own way in this world? Are you two ready to finance and pay for your own college educations? If you are not financially prepared to support yourself and your intended then you are not ready for marriage. And there are so many more questions you should be asking yourselves right now too . . . .
Have you talked to your parents or pastor about this?
diane
PS: Read this article from The Knot.
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LiberatedChick
Contributor
As the others have said...there's no need to rush.
I promise you...if you're relationship is strong and meant to be then marriage can easily wait. I'm living proof of that. My husband and I were engaged at 16. He proposed, I said yes, maybe would have gotten married then if it weren't for several major issues that we realised after the event....we were still in school, no where to live, required parents permission, had never had a full time job (or any proper job for that matter) and so basically had things we needed to sort out and experience before marriage could ever happen. We could have tried rushing into it but we realised it was both completely impossible and not wise to do that.
Instead we waited, in the meantime we investigated the costs of living, costs of a wedding and started buying things for our future home. In the end we waited 4.5 years as that was what we needed to do to grow on our own for a while and learn to support ourselves. Now maybe you guys won't need that long, maybe you'll need longer but I think you do need some time....time to learn how to support yourselves and get into a position where you're not relying on your parents.
If you're relationship is strong (which it certainly sounds like it is), waiting won't hurt it one bit. It'll likely make it even stronger.
I promise you...if you're relationship is strong and meant to be then marriage can easily wait. I'm living proof of that. My husband and I were engaged at 16. He proposed, I said yes, maybe would have gotten married then if it weren't for several major issues that we realised after the event....we were still in school, no where to live, required parents permission, had never had a full time job (or any proper job for that matter) and so basically had things we needed to sort out and experience before marriage could ever happen. We could have tried rushing into it but we realised it was both completely impossible and not wise to do that.
Instead we waited, in the meantime we investigated the costs of living, costs of a wedding and started buying things for our future home. In the end we waited 4.5 years as that was what we needed to do to grow on our own for a while and learn to support ourselves. Now maybe you guys won't need that long, maybe you'll need longer but I think you do need some time....time to learn how to support yourselves and get into a position where you're not relying on your parents.
If you're relationship is strong (which it certainly sounds like it is), waiting won't hurt it one bit. It'll likely make it even stronger.
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im 17 myself (look at the age ^ lol) n have often thought i want to be married to my bf. We've spoken about marriage and both want to but we're also being sensible about it and waiting. We are young. My bf said we will get married as soon as he is certain he can support us financially. Emotionally we're ready wenever but we're thinking realistically...i think u should do the same. If u love each other and God you will be able to wait.
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You get to be a kid for 16-17 years, 19 tops, why waste that? You'll get to be all grown up for fifty plus years so it's not like you won't get enough time at it.
If mummy and daddy have to sign something so you can get married there is a HUGE hint you arn't old enough. Like the others have said, live in the real world, be an adult for a while and then when you both know each other as adults with all that goes along with it, then consider engagement and marriage.
If mummy and daddy have to sign something so you can get married there is a HUGE hint you arn't old enough. Like the others have said, live in the real world, be an adult for a while and then when you both know each other as adults with all that goes along with it, then consider engagement and marriage.
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thank you for the advice, i beleive what you all are saying, she says she wants a long engagement, but i want my proposale to be right, and at the right time. i turn 18 next april and plan on being on my own and done highschool ( i homeschool) by then, God has played a huge part in this and will continue to, our relationship is very strong and i think its getting stronger. thanks again for the advice.
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Good idea, J... slow down. Also, don't get so worried about things like the proposal... there will be plenty of time for that down the line. You worrying about it so much right now may only hinder your relationship.
But congrats on having such a good feeling right now... hold onto that.
But congrats on having such a good feeling right now... hold onto that.
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If this is really from God, it will stand the test of time while you both further your educations and get established in your careers. Remember, His timing is perfect, so don't rush ahead of Him.
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