I haven't dated in three years, I am divorced, and I have noticed that I am still attracted to men who drink. I haven't had a drink in 2.5 years...
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If you don't drink, would you date someone who does?
- Thread starter LookBeautiful
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Why do you think you're attracted to men who drink? Is it just men who drink socially or often and sometimes alone?
Be proud of your accomplishment in not drinking for such a long time--- I know every day is a battle. But be careful too of who you spend time with--- lest you be tempted.
Be proud of your accomplishment in not drinking for such a long time--- I know every day is a battle. But be careful too of who you spend time with--- lest you be tempted.
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If Not For Grace
Legend-but then so's Keith Richards
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If you don't drink find some one to date who does not either.
Drinking usually encompasses a certain social setting. Drinking has the potential to become an addiction in any person, just like smoking, etc. But even when it isn't the non drinker usually is the odd person out or the designated driver.
To me people dating should have similar interests that's what helps keep the relationship in tact. I mean if you are a city girl, then a farm boy is probably not right for you.
If you are an opera lover do you really think you would be happy with a NASCAR fan.
We are often drawn to what is familiar, not necessiarly what is healthy for us. If you have to ask if it's ok then likely it is not a good idea is a rule of thumb I try to go by.
Drinking usually encompasses a certain social setting. Drinking has the potential to become an addiction in any person, just like smoking, etc. But even when it isn't the non drinker usually is the odd person out or the designated driver.
To me people dating should have similar interests that's what helps keep the relationship in tact. I mean if you are a city girl, then a farm boy is probably not right for you.
If you are an opera lover do you really think you would be happy with a NASCAR fan.
We are often drawn to what is familiar, not necessiarly what is healthy for us. If you have to ask if it's ok then likely it is not a good idea is a rule of thumb I try to go by.
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justanobserver
Still Wondering...
well, I am a NASCAR fan and I do enjoy listening to selected opera music and seeing selected operas!
Would like to see Pirates of Penzance someday.I concure with your advise and opinion on dating a drinker. why chance it.
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justanobserver
Still Wondering...
I been sober for over 3 yrs (been clean for over 4) and I have given this some thought and for me, and just my personal humble opinion only, I have to draw the line and say no to dating someone who drinks, even if its only socially.
The bottom line: alcoholism is life and death for a lot of us and I would rather be alone and sober than tempt fate to be with someone who drinks.
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justanobserver
Still Wondering...
hey Tati!!! when life settles down with this new job and all, am giving some serious thougth about being a Recovery Mod again.
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vja4Him
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I would not date anyone who drinks. Alcohol is like an allergy to me .... I cannot be around alcohol. Although I was able to control myself at my cousin's wedding several years ago. There was lots of alcohol. It was really tempting to try just a bit ....
My youngest boy, at time about 8 or 9, was telling people that they shouldn't drink. It's bad for them! That convicted me, and helped me to catch myself.
I have to be careful where I go, who I hang out with, and what I do! Even with 28 years clean and sober coming up soon, I still have strong temptations ....
-- vja4Him (living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace -- James 1:2,3; Isaiah 26:3)
+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
My youngest boy, at time about 8 or 9, was telling people that they shouldn't drink. It's bad for them! That convicted me, and helped me to catch myself.
I have to be careful where I go, who I hang out with, and what I do! Even with 28 years clean and sober coming up soon, I still have strong temptations ....
-- vja4Him (living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace -- James 1:2,3; Isaiah 26:3)
+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+
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ww2pigeon
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I would have to say no, I love my sobriety today. I have along time in the fellowship. I know drinking is not an option today for sure. Yet, I also know my best thinking got me here and weather I like it or not, I'm still sick. God has removed the desire as long as I do the steps and work the program. But if I dance with the devil, all agreements are off. I know I have another drunk in me; but I also know I wouldn't make back into the fellowship of A.A. And today as one of my oldtimes says, I HAVE A LIFE THAT MONEY CAN'T BUY. AMEN!
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devonian
Junior Member
Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
I have been tricked twice into thinking I could handle alcohol. Once, my wife, who is not an alcoholic, said "I think you beat the alcohol problem, just make sure you keep it to only 2 drinks at a time." That sent me on about 8 years of heavy drinking. Another time, when I had a fight with her, I figured I should get drunk just to get back at her. (Note: I was not tricked by her, I was tricked by alcohol & my alcoholic mind.)
I now make sure I maintain my sobriety with steps 10, 11, and 12, and I am able to be around people who drink. On rare occasions, I have alcohol in the house (for guests), and don't look down on other people who can drink socially. I don't feel an obsession to drink, nor do I mourn the fact that I can't drink, but I don't intentionally put myself in this position. It's not a good idea.
If you have not completed steps 1-9, very thoroughly, or are not maintaining you sobriety daily with steps 10, 11, and 12, definately do not do anything that would put you in a risky situation. Even if you are working the steps daily, don't intentionally put yourself into a position of temptation, unless you have a very good reason.
I have been tricked twice into thinking I could handle alcohol. Once, my wife, who is not an alcoholic, said "I think you beat the alcohol problem, just make sure you keep it to only 2 drinks at a time." That sent me on about 8 years of heavy drinking. Another time, when I had a fight with her, I figured I should get drunk just to get back at her. (Note: I was not tricked by her, I was tricked by alcohol & my alcoholic mind.)
I now make sure I maintain my sobriety with steps 10, 11, and 12, and I am able to be around people who drink. On rare occasions, I have alcohol in the house (for guests), and don't look down on other people who can drink socially. I don't feel an obsession to drink, nor do I mourn the fact that I can't drink, but I don't intentionally put myself in this position. It's not a good idea.
If you have not completed steps 1-9, very thoroughly, or are not maintaining you sobriety daily with steps 10, 11, and 12, definately do not do anything that would put you in a risky situation. Even if you are working the steps daily, don't intentionally put yourself into a position of temptation, unless you have a very good reason.
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maximus-300
Believer
Personally I wouldn't. Being a student living away from home on a campus full of drinkers, I have a hard time sticking to my principles. Dating a drinker would be against my own principles, just as I won't date someone who smokes. Of course, it's all personal. Of course you can date someone if you don't think it will affect you, and maybe you can later on help him overcome his drinking habits. Because lets face it, being drunk is a sin, no matter how you look at it. But you decide in your own time what you wan to do!
Just my bit of advice...
And congrats with staying sober for so long!
Cheers
Maximus
Just my bit of advice...
And congrats with staying sober for so long!
Cheers
Maximus
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chaz345
Well-Known Member
That depends. DO you not drink because you are a recovering alcoholic or because you simply choose not to drink? If the first then I'd say it would be best to stay away from getting that close to someone who drinks, even moderately. If the second, then I see no problem or danger.
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