i would never think of killing myself if i was not so sick and tired of going thru mental angish each day!! yes, i have turned to christ for help and to taking medications, but i am facing having to go a mental hospital....have you ever been in one?
how would you like to live the rest of your life there?????
i'm so hurt and scared. people turn thier backs on you when you are mentally ill and have dementia.
i have panic, anxiety, bordeline personailty, disorder, depession, agoraphobia, ptsd, dementia, addiction to meds i was put on to help, but i'm not going to get any better. i've been ripped off so bad suffering with this. yes i'm sure my kids will be hurt if i kill myself, but how much pain are they in seeing me like this???? and none care enough to even help me! no one can imagine what its like to live like this. even my faith over the years has grown so weak!!!! do i really want to kill myself? no...............but i just can't take living like this anymore....there is no joy....only sick, scared, confused, abandoned and so much pain not being able to enjoy life, my kids, my grandchildren, my animals.......god i can't take anymore loss and sure don't want to live in a hospital all my life!!! i wish god would just take me in my sleep so these thoughts would gone.
i can barely bathe anymore i have no appatite and find it hard to anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's like i'm looking back on life and everything is....use to be!! god i cry so much....i hurt for myself and for my kids, grandchildren evenn my animals........i fight suicide everyday, but sure it will happen and i am so scared!!!!!! i just pray that god will forgive me and understand!!!! i can't hold on much longer.......lose everything you once were and everything you have and only have a mental home to look forward to......read what happens in there.....and then think whats its like for a person who is terrified and filled with so much pain and just bare it anymore.......i never thought i would ever talk like this....but the world has become such a scarey place for me anymore and my mind!!! oh god please have mercy!!!