Of course there is a spectrum, and there are many reasons for suicide, but as one who has been suicidal, known people who were, and known those who have taken their lives, generally speaking, suicide is a selfish act, so I disagree with the premise that if a person knew what suffering their suicide would cause they wouldn't go ahead with it. They do know, but they are too self absorbed to care.
Not all suicide is caused by self-pity, but I think much is. I don't downplay the pain caused by self-pity. The pain produced by self-pity is very real, but self-pity has a basis in the idea that one knows better than God how his life should go. That's it's fundamental problem. Suicide is an expression of rage. It's the ultimate temper tantrum. It's one's way of having the last word, or of, in their minds, flipping God "the bird".
It's counterintuitive, and many can't wrap their heads around this, but people who are suicidal shouldn't be treated as victims and pitied, their sin should be confronted, and they should be encouraged to repent of their idolatry. This idolatry is not always easy to spot, but an example that's easy to see is a young lady who didn't get invited to the prom, at all, or by the wrong guy. Now she holds a bottle of sleeping pills in her had. . .
Why does she want to kill herself? Because rather than finding her identity in Christ, she seeks to find it in the affection of a young man. Her "god" is the guy that sits in front of her in biology class. She worships him. She places her faith in him to "save" her. Now, we might be quick to excuse her actions, and downplay her idolatry, but if we don't let our emotions rule us, we can see that what his young lady has done is to elevate a good thing, a date to the prom, to an ultimate thing, a place that only God can hold, and this is the essence of idolatry. It's why and how we violate the first commandment.
Rather than conforming her life to God's commands, she conforms her every word and deed to her idol. She figuratively and literally serves her idol, and we have all done similarly. The problem is that idols never deliver on their promises. When you fail to serve them perfectly they kill you. There is no mercy. The guy in biology class went to the prom with the girl with thinner thighs and a bigger chest. . . Now she wants to kill herself because God didn't make her physically attractive enough to have her idol.
There is nothing innocent about her suicide. It's sin through and through, and if we are to help people like her from the same fate, we must expose and confront the sin and reconcile them to the Living God who, when you let Him down, when you fail Him, dies in order to rescue you.
