Hello,
I am a 24 year old married woman. I have been born again Christian and I have believed in Jesus Christ since I was 5 years old. When I was about 11 or 12, I got my first attack of thoughts provoking me to kill or harm my loved ones. In my own opinion, I know Satan is the one behind OCD in all shapes and forms brought against people as are these thoughts. So as you can assume, that was extremely tramatic for an 11 or 12 year old young girl to recieve these violent thoughts out of the blue, trying to convince me they were mine. And eventually through extensive meditating in God's word and reading Kenneth E. Hagin books and tapes on the believer's authority and What to do with faith seems weak and victory loss to name a few, as well as keeping in contact with my pastor and his wife, whom I have a very close relationship with, I was able to overcome these thoughts. I also saw a born again Christian counsler, and I took different anti depressants over the years, although I don't remember if any specific ones helped with the thoughts, as this was so long ago. I don't know when or how long it took for me to receive my victory,but praise God I did! And although the thoughts would try and come back every once in awhile, I recognized them as Satan trying to get a foothold back in my life, and I never gave them much attention. And I lived free from these thoughts for 7 or 8 years praise God! But now at the age of 24, I have been attacked with these thoughts again, and I was totally unprepared and let me gaurd down all those years I lived free. And this time around it seems to be an even harder and stronger attack. Like it says in the bible, If you cast the devil out, he walks around dry places looking for a place to in habit, and he returns to try and get back into the place he was before. And since out of ignorance and letting my gaurd down, I unintentionally let this thing get ahold of me again from getting drunk and not living the most Christianly life as I once did. And it says in the bible, If you let the devil back in after he has been cast out, he brings 7 more demons with him, and his condition is worse then before. Not that I'm saying for sure that he brought back 7 demons or that is exactly what is happenening. But it would make since as the attacks seem to be stronger this time around. I'm sure it's just the same pathetic, deafeated demon it was the first time. And I have been in continous contact with my pastor's wife. And she has given me many scriptures and advice, reminding me Satan is defeated and that I don't have to listen to his thoughts, and I can cast down imaginations, speak to them and tell them no those aren't mine and I refuse to think them, and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, as it says in the bible. And she also reminds me Satan can make things seem scarier and more overwhelming then they really are and like I'm going crazy or loosing my mind, although I'm not. But I still have a choice as to whether I am going to give into his LIES and HIS feelings he is trying to force on me, or I can trust in God's truth and refuse to believe his thoughts. And all that does help, and I'm so thankful to have my pastor's wife,Kenneth E. Hagin's reading and listening materials, the bible and Jesus himself for help and support in my time of need. But I still find myself what I would call "assuming" I will have thoughts, because I have had my gaurd up all day every day for almost 3 months to the point that its hard not to assume I will get attacked with those intrusive thoughts, I then find myself getting more intusive thoughts the more I try to not think about them, and the more frustrated I get. As difficult as things may seem at times, like thinking, God, will I ever get over this again? Some how, I'm still optimistic I WILL have the victory and freedom in the end like I did for the past 7 or 8 years. But at times that is very hard to keep believeing that way, but I guess just by the grace and mercy from God, I keep optimistic about my final victory that I believe I will have and that I do have, if I just keep persistant. I went to a lady that wasn't even a psychiatrist,(because I'm not 100% happy with my psychiatrist, as I am limited to who I can see with my insurance) but she is a nurse practitoner that some how is allowed to perscribe anti depressants,etc. She worked at a Christian mental health clinic, so I figured she was a Christian. Because having a psychiatrist and counselor be a Christian is EXTREMELY important to me. Turns out she didn't much even consider herself a Christian. And she tried to tell me none of those thoughts were from the devil and that it was my own mind making them up. Which I completely DISAGREE with. Yes I do think all evil thoughts are from Satan, but I do recognize that my own mind in the flesh can make things worse in my situation, for example by being caught in what I call a thought loop, where like a record player,no matter how hard I try I can't seem to cast down thoughts very easily and they just seem to play in constant rotation. Or by worrying or assuming I will have thoughts make my situation worse too. So I take some responsibility by forming bad habits of thinking patterns by assuming I will be attacked with those thoughts, and worrying about them. But to say they are all made up in my mind and not from the devil is absolute garbage! Because thats how those thoughts get there in the first place, Satan brings them against us. Its just up to us to what we will do with them. And for some people, like myself, its just extrememly hard to just brush them off and not focus on them, when some people can just chaulk them up to dumb thoughts and move on. So my case in point, I decided to not take the upped medication does she gave me, because obviously she is not a psyhicatrist and she doesn't believe in the devil. So why would I trust her medical or religious opinion? I have a a real psychiatrist I see ( I take 75 mg of Effexor XR) but he doesn't have much of a personality at all, and I have never felt comfortable talking about these thoughts with him and asking him if he could perscribe something that would help me cope with these thoughts. He is listed as being a Christian, but so was that other lady. So I am very skeptical to trust in him that he is a true Christian too, and I think he will only see the psychological side and not consider the spiritual side too and say none of it's the devil too. Don't mistake, I do give the devil a lot of credit for these thoughts coming against me. But I do take some of the credit for making the thoughts worse by overreacting and over obsessing over them. And I would just like to know If medication can help, and If so, what kind. I don't expect mediaction to fix everything and be a magic pill. That is what Jesus Christ is for and why he died for our healing. But If a pill can help diminish my side effects and help me cope with things better, then is there anything wrong with a Christian relying on Jesus for help, healing and strength, but taking some medication that might help too. Please any and all advice for help with coping with these thoughts and advice on medication and any of the things I have stated above, and you have struggled with intrusive violent thoughts, by all means, please message me or reply to my post. Feel free to email me too at: pudnanewell1986@aol.com
Thank you and God bless!!
I am a 24 year old married woman. I have been born again Christian and I have believed in Jesus Christ since I was 5 years old. When I was about 11 or 12, I got my first attack of thoughts provoking me to kill or harm my loved ones. In my own opinion, I know Satan is the one behind OCD in all shapes and forms brought against people as are these thoughts. So as you can assume, that was extremely tramatic for an 11 or 12 year old young girl to recieve these violent thoughts out of the blue, trying to convince me they were mine. And eventually through extensive meditating in God's word and reading Kenneth E. Hagin books and tapes on the believer's authority and What to do with faith seems weak and victory loss to name a few, as well as keeping in contact with my pastor and his wife, whom I have a very close relationship with, I was able to overcome these thoughts. I also saw a born again Christian counsler, and I took different anti depressants over the years, although I don't remember if any specific ones helped with the thoughts, as this was so long ago. I don't know when or how long it took for me to receive my victory,but praise God I did! And although the thoughts would try and come back every once in awhile, I recognized them as Satan trying to get a foothold back in my life, and I never gave them much attention. And I lived free from these thoughts for 7 or 8 years praise God! But now at the age of 24, I have been attacked with these thoughts again, and I was totally unprepared and let me gaurd down all those years I lived free. And this time around it seems to be an even harder and stronger attack. Like it says in the bible, If you cast the devil out, he walks around dry places looking for a place to in habit, and he returns to try and get back into the place he was before. And since out of ignorance and letting my gaurd down, I unintentionally let this thing get ahold of me again from getting drunk and not living the most Christianly life as I once did. And it says in the bible, If you let the devil back in after he has been cast out, he brings 7 more demons with him, and his condition is worse then before. Not that I'm saying for sure that he brought back 7 demons or that is exactly what is happenening. But it would make since as the attacks seem to be stronger this time around. I'm sure it's just the same pathetic, deafeated demon it was the first time. And I have been in continous contact with my pastor's wife. And she has given me many scriptures and advice, reminding me Satan is defeated and that I don't have to listen to his thoughts, and I can cast down imaginations, speak to them and tell them no those aren't mine and I refuse to think them, and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, as it says in the bible. And she also reminds me Satan can make things seem scarier and more overwhelming then they really are and like I'm going crazy or loosing my mind, although I'm not. But I still have a choice as to whether I am going to give into his LIES and HIS feelings he is trying to force on me, or I can trust in God's truth and refuse to believe his thoughts. And all that does help, and I'm so thankful to have my pastor's wife,Kenneth E. Hagin's reading and listening materials, the bible and Jesus himself for help and support in my time of need. But I still find myself what I would call "assuming" I will have thoughts, because I have had my gaurd up all day every day for almost 3 months to the point that its hard not to assume I will get attacked with those intrusive thoughts, I then find myself getting more intusive thoughts the more I try to not think about them, and the more frustrated I get. As difficult as things may seem at times, like thinking, God, will I ever get over this again? Some how, I'm still optimistic I WILL have the victory and freedom in the end like I did for the past 7 or 8 years. But at times that is very hard to keep believeing that way, but I guess just by the grace and mercy from God, I keep optimistic about my final victory that I believe I will have and that I do have, if I just keep persistant. I went to a lady that wasn't even a psychiatrist,(because I'm not 100% happy with my psychiatrist, as I am limited to who I can see with my insurance) but she is a nurse practitoner that some how is allowed to perscribe anti depressants,etc. She worked at a Christian mental health clinic, so I figured she was a Christian. Because having a psychiatrist and counselor be a Christian is EXTREMELY important to me. Turns out she didn't much even consider herself a Christian. And she tried to tell me none of those thoughts were from the devil and that it was my own mind making them up. Which I completely DISAGREE with. Yes I do think all evil thoughts are from Satan, but I do recognize that my own mind in the flesh can make things worse in my situation, for example by being caught in what I call a thought loop, where like a record player,no matter how hard I try I can't seem to cast down thoughts very easily and they just seem to play in constant rotation. Or by worrying or assuming I will have thoughts make my situation worse too. So I take some responsibility by forming bad habits of thinking patterns by assuming I will be attacked with those thoughts, and worrying about them. But to say they are all made up in my mind and not from the devil is absolute garbage! Because thats how those thoughts get there in the first place, Satan brings them against us. Its just up to us to what we will do with them. And for some people, like myself, its just extrememly hard to just brush them off and not focus on them, when some people can just chaulk them up to dumb thoughts and move on. So my case in point, I decided to not take the upped medication does she gave me, because obviously she is not a psyhicatrist and she doesn't believe in the devil. So why would I trust her medical or religious opinion? I have a a real psychiatrist I see ( I take 75 mg of Effexor XR) but he doesn't have much of a personality at all, and I have never felt comfortable talking about these thoughts with him and asking him if he could perscribe something that would help me cope with these thoughts. He is listed as being a Christian, but so was that other lady. So I am very skeptical to trust in him that he is a true Christian too, and I think he will only see the psychological side and not consider the spiritual side too and say none of it's the devil too. Don't mistake, I do give the devil a lot of credit for these thoughts coming against me. But I do take some of the credit for making the thoughts worse by overreacting and over obsessing over them. And I would just like to know If medication can help, and If so, what kind. I don't expect mediaction to fix everything and be a magic pill. That is what Jesus Christ is for and why he died for our healing. But If a pill can help diminish my side effects and help me cope with things better, then is there anything wrong with a Christian relying on Jesus for help, healing and strength, but taking some medication that might help too. Please any and all advice for help with coping with these thoughts and advice on medication and any of the things I have stated above, and you have struggled with intrusive violent thoughts, by all means, please message me or reply to my post. Feel free to email me too at: pudnanewell1986@aol.com
Thank you and God bless!!
