IceDragon Comment on Reinventing the Adventist Wheel.

[Sophia7]

As long as you have family in your life that are Adventist it will always be there. You would have to cut off all interaction with your family to have no Adventist influence. If you have no one in your family or in your spouse's family that is Adventist then you are in a whole different category.

That's what we're experiencing now. We have several family members who are Adventist.

 

[tall73]

Thanks for the warning. But I think I will be fine. I do not live and die by Adventism or EGW, so I really don't think you should worry. I was not raised SDA and I have never put EGW on a pedastal. I have nothing in common with people like Dale Ratzlaff, Mark Martin and Sydney Cleveland who venerated EGW and could not fathom anything outside Adventism-these sorts of people are the ones who become the most bitter enemies of EGW and the church, because they had such an unhealthy, unrealistic relationship with both to begin with. I have never lived in an Adventist bubble and I know I am well-adjusted and balanced enough that I will not spend years and years and years and years bitter and angry towards the church. When the decision to leave is at the point where it is final, there is no more reason to be angry. Adventism will mean nothing at that point and will have no more influence on my life.

And if I ever decide to leave the church for good, it will be a clean break. I won't want to hear, see or talk about anything remotely Adventist. Because for me, leaving is just that: Leaving. It will be like cutting an arm off and leaving the limb behind. I cannot imagine wanting to carry that limb around for the rest of my post-Adventist life to worry over it and pick it apart.

I hear so many formers boast about how 'free' they are now that they have left the church. But some of these are the very same ones who still carry the baggage of Adventism around with them and it cripples them so that they cannot get on with life. That, to me, is not freedom from Adventism. That is like letting a dead abusive parent torment you from the grave. It cannot be healthy for the person. FAF is just a sad display of online dysfunctional mess, I'm sorry to say.

However, I do sympathize with those die-hard SDA formers whose worlds fell apart after leaving and were never able to fully restore thier lives back to complete happiness and normality. It must be an awful thing to experience.

I am somewhere in that stage right now. I have not moved on because there are still things to process. I left when I felt there was enough I couldn't stay. But I have not worked through every issue or figured out what I agree with from my past and what I don't. And the only folks who really have the understanding to discuss it with are Adventists and formers.

I originally, back at the beginning, hoped for a clean break. But realistically it was not going to happen for me because it takes time to study through each thing I had learned before. That is just where I am at. Nor was leaving Adventism a triumphant thing for me as it is for some. I just felt I had to. I already knew the gospel and Christ in the church. Some of the die hards you mention not only discover many problems with the church but discover the gospel for the first time and then leave. That was not me. I simply realized that I am not in line with Adventist teaching. And now I am left to sort out what is good and what is not in the pieces.

 

[tall73]

As long as you have family in your life that are Adventist it will always be there. You would have to cut off all interaction with your family to have no Adventist influence. If you have no one in your family or in your spouse's family that is Adventist then you are in a whole different category.

Yeah, that is true too. It is hard to move on initially when you have some family considering you heretics and wanting an explanation.

 

[tall73]

Part of the process of rehashing for me is to discover if my new ideas stand up any better under investigation than the old ones.

 

[Eila]

Yeah, that is true too. It is hard to move on initially when you have some family considering you heretics and wanting an explanation.

Yes, even later on when some families no longer have those strong feelings you will always have the Adventist culture/thinking/lifestyle issues when you interact with your Adventist family.

Clean break? Not possible if you have SDA family and want them to still be part of your life. You will have to adapt to Sabbath issues, food issues, listen to them talk and talk about Adventism, and politely ignore or decline book suggestions, SS invitations, invitations to church activities, etc.

 

[tall73]

Yes, even later on when some families no longer have those strong feelings you will always have the Adventist culture/thinking/lifestyle issues when you interact with your Adventist family.

Clean break? Not possible if you have SDA family and want them to still be part of your life. You will have to adapt to Sabbath issues, food issues, listen to them talk and talk about Adventism, and politely ignore or decline book suggestions, SS invitations, invitations to church activities, etc.

Lol one member offered me several Adventist books on the Sabbath, kind of trying to seem non-pushy.

I had read all of them so didn't see much point.

 

[Adventist Dissident]

I have put my membership drop requent in this morning. I was informed by e-mail that it will be taken before the board.