I Would be Ecstatic to Have a Gay Child!

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Sycophant

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There's a few people saying things like "I'd still love him but make it clear I didn't was disappointed and disapproving"

In speaking to gay friends in the past this sort of thing has come up as one of the most difficult things of all. Especially when they are first realising they are gay, or when they first come out. They are struggling with their own issues and fears, and its very difficult to hear a parent essentially say "I disapprove of the person you are".

I understand the conflicting feelings people have, but you should consider when your words are counter to your feelings. As a gay child it would be hard to hear your parents criticising a large part of your being and still feel loved.
 
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stan1980

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This is the thing. Even if you are disappointed inside, the last thing your kids are going to need is you telling them how disappointed you are, they are going to have a tough enough time of it as it is.

Not to mention, your disapproval I would imagine would have an incredibly low success rate at turning them straight.

I think all I'd really want for my kids is to be happy, that's all that really matters when it boils down to it.

It's very saddening to read that people here would put their God before their very own children's happiness, very sad indeed.
 
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OphidiaPhile

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I would not abandon a child for their sexual orientation but they sure would know how much I would never condon it. If you believe in God then you believe in truth and I taught my children the truth. They know what sin is and how when engaged in you face the consequences of it.
Science is the truth not some book that has never been proven to be valid in any way.
 
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jcook922

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Why disappointment? I'm curious because when I talk to people on an email list I'm on who express their disappointment at discovering their children are gay I'm truly kind of confused. I understand the fears, the concerns about their child being the target of violence, I don't understand disappointment.

Some people say they think about the grandkids they'll never have or the weddings they imagined etc. I guess I'm strange. I thought about grandchildren not one bit until there was one, he's here, he's awesome, his pic is up there. But he was not some imaginary baby I couldn't wait for one of my kids produce.

They think about the "normal" life they imagined. Maybe that's where I get lost, "normal" isn't part of my expectations. I am disappointed by things like being cruel. I don't know why my kids orientation would disappoint me. To me that would be like being disappointed that my kid had green eyes.

I tried to think of it in terms of being disappointed that my niece has medical problems and is developmentally disabled. I am disappointed for her though. Because of the things she cannot have access to. For my child who is gay I may be disappointed for her if she cannot legally get married someday and that's what she wants to do. I may be sad if she is hurt by some bigot. But those things would be the same for any of my children. Their orientation doesn't create a situation for me to be disappointed about.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm picking at you, I'm not, your comment just reminded me of so many parents of GLB kids on my e mail list and their reaction to discovering their kids were gay-- some are conservative Christians and I understand their disappointment is that they believe their child is not living under their beliefs and the teachings of their churches. I understand that, don't agree with it, but I get where that disappointment comes from.

Otherwise I have a hard time comprehending that disappointment.

I would be disappointed because I would really prefer my children to grow up to be heterosexual, because it's what I'm comfortable with. I wouldn't disown them, and I probably wouldn't tell them to their face I was disappointed, but I know I would feel it. It isn't about grandkids, it's just how I feel. As far as people go I'm comfortable enough with homosexuality in our society, I don't endorse it, and I wouldn't tell people they should try it out sometime. I just see more beauty in a heterosexual relationship than a homosexual one, it doesn't mean there isn't any love there, and viewpoints are very subjective, but I feel that way.
 
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larry_boy_44

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Would I love my child if they were gay? Of course.

Would I disown them? Of course not.

Would I still keep on saying it was a sin? Yes.

Now, that doesn't mean I would tell them every moment of every day. They'd know that's how I felt, they would know that's what I believed and it would be left at that. They'd also know that I love them no matter what decision and choices they made in thier life and that I would always love them no matter what.

although, i have to say... saying"I would be ecxtatic if my kid were gay" is a little bit absurd. Especially considering how hard it has to be in many places to grow up and be gay with the way that many people are...
 
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larry_boy_44

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I am not going to bash him but I am curious as to why it is assumed that it is a choice. As I have previously stated I work in the field of genetics and much of what I do is classified but I can say that there are genetic markers that only occur in homosexual people, and yes it is true that the exact gene or genes involved in the trait have not been isolated neither have ones for thousands of other things yet we know that it is only a matter of time before they are mapped. And of course there are other variations within the gay community such as heightened level of testosterone in lesbians and estrogen in gay men.

there is a choice behind every single action every single person takes.

No one acts without a move of thier will taking them to that place.

Just becuase tehre is a genetic marker that explains why someone is attracted to the same gender, doesn't mean anything. It isn't the attraction that is the sin.
 
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larry_boy_44

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This is the thing. Even if you are disappointed inside, the last thing your kids are going to need is you telling them how disappointed you are, they are going to have a tough enough time of it as it is.

Not to mention, your disapproval I would imagine would have an incredibly low success rate at turning them straight.

I think all I'd really want for my kids is to be happy, that's all that really matters when it boils down to it.

It's very saddening to read that people here would put their God before their very own children's happiness, very sad indeed.

its not just thier God they are putting over what you consider thier children's happiness...

its also thier children's eternal souls over thier children's short, momentary happiness here on this earth...

I'd much rather live a crappy life on earth and make it to heaven than live a wonderful life on earth and end up in hell...
 
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TooCurious

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there is a choice behind every single action every single person takes.

No one acts without a move of thier will taking them to that place.

Just becuase tehre is a genetic marker that explains why someone is attracted to the same gender, doesn't mean anything. It isn't the attraction that is the sin.

Honest question:

If you had a child who turned out to be gay, would you prefer it if he never pursued his attraction for another person? Bear in mind, that would mean that he (or she) would never have a meaningful romantic relationship, would never have the lifelong support and love that having a spouse gives a person, would watch as his friends got married while knowing that he would never be able to experience that sort of connection with another person, and would spend his life ultimately alone. Some people have no desire for romance and find themselves fulfilled without a romantic partner, but what if your child wasn't one of these people, and felt painfully lonely without a special someone to share his life?

Is that the kind of life you would prefer for a child you had that turned out to be gay? Would that be better than for him or her to pursue a relationship with someone of the same gender?
 
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jcook922

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there is a choice behind every single action every single person takes.

No one acts without a move of thier will taking them to that place.

Just becuase tehre is a genetic marker that explains why someone is attracted to the same gender, doesn't mean anything. It isn't the attraction that is the sin.
Telling homosexuals it's ok to be gay, as long as you don't do anything gay, is in no way fair to them. That would be like a rule saying that it's ok for me to like girls, but it's wrong if I show them affection as a result of my attraction in any way, of course I'd give them the finger(The people telling me to stand down, not necessarily the girl :doh:), I expect no less than the same from gays.
 
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TooCurious

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its not just thier God they are putting over what you consider thier children's happiness...

its also thier children's eternal souls over thier children's short, momentary happiness here on this earth...

I'd much rather live a crappy life on earth and make it to heaven than live a wonderful life on earth and end up in hell...

Do you really believe that a loving God would force someone to choose between "a crappy life on earth" and an eternity in hell, on the basis of that person's desire for something that other people are permitted without penalty (i.e. a loving, fulfilling relationship with another consenting adult)?
 
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larry_boy_44

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Honest question:

If you had a child who turned out to be gay, would you prefer it if he never pursued his attraction for another person? Bear in mind, that would mean that he (or she) would never have a meaningful romantic relationship, would never have the lifelong support and love that having a spouse gives a person, would watch as his friends got married while knowing that he would never be able to experience that sort of connection with another person, and would spend his life ultimately alone. Some people have no desire for romance and find themselves fulfilled without a romantic partner, but what if your child wasn't one of these people, and felt painfully lonely without a special someone to share his life?

Is that the kind of life you would prefer for a child you had that turned out to be gay? Would that be better than for him or her to pursue a relationship with someone of the same gender?

how in the world can you have 1,658 posts on a Christian message board and still not understand that, to a Christian, life on this earth is secondary and that no matter how hard and how difficult and how even painful it might be to do right on this earth, we still would rather do that and support people doing that then watch people do wrong and go to hell???
 
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larry_boy_44

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Telling homosexuals it's ok to be gay, as long as you don't do anything gay, is in no way fair to them. That would be like a rule saying that it's ok for me to like girls, but it's wrong if I show them affection as a result of my attraction in any way, of course I'd give them the finger(The people telling me to stand down, not necessarily the girl :doh:), I expect no less than the same from gays.

It is ok for you to like girls. However, it is not ok for you to participate in any kind of sexual act with any of those girls...
 
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larry_boy_44

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Do you really believe that a loving God would force someone to choose between "a crappy life on earth" and an eternity in hell, on the basis of that person's desire for something that other people are permitted without penalty (i.e. a loving, fulfilling relationship with another consenting adult)?

those aren't the actual choices, they were just extreme examples used to make a point...
 
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TooCurious

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those aren't the actual choices, they were just extreme examples used to make a point...

But they are the actual choices, as I expressed in my first question to you. Suppose you have a child and that child turns out to be gay. If he (or she) abides by your religious views, he has to spend his entire life without a romantic partner to love and support, and be loved by and supported by in turn, and with whom to share his life. If he's not the sort of person who can be perfectly content without having a romantic relationship for his entire life, then his life will be lonely and miserable -- "a crappy life on earth."

So I'll ask again: do you really believe that a loving God could force someone to choose between that "crappy life" and an eternity in hell, on the basis of that person's desire for something that other people are permitted without penalty (i.e. a loving, fulfilling relationship with another consenting adult)?
 
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larry_boy_44

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But they are the actual choices, as I expressed in my first question to you. Suppose you have a child and that child turns out to be gay. If he (or she) abides by your religious views, he has to spend his entire life without a romantic partner to love and support, and be loved by and supported by in turn, and with whom to share his life. If he's not the sort of person who can be perfectly content without having a romantic relationship for his entire life, then his life will be lonely and miserable -- "a crappy life on earth."

So I'll ask again: do you really believe that a loving God could force someone to choose between that "crappy life" and an eternity in hell, on the basis of that person's desire for something that other people are permitted without penalty (i.e. a loving, fulfilling relationship with another consenting adult)?

You still aren't grasping it because your view of teh world is a selfish, self-centered one based on humanity and human emotion being the height of existence... when it isn't.
 
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TooCurious

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You still aren't grasping it because your view of teh world is a selfish, self-centered one based on humanity and human emotion being the height of existence... when it isn't.

Nice ad-hominem. How is having compassion for someone "selfish" or "self-centered"? You still haven't answered the question.

Do you believe that a loving God (who presumably cares about humanity and has compassion for human emotion) would force a person to choose between a live of misery and loneliness or an eternity in hell?

Or maybe the God you believe in isn't a "loving God" -- that would make more sense.
 
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SiderealExalt

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I doubt you'll get a straight answer unfortunately TooCurious. I find it even more interesting that then if we use the whole, gay is a choice thing(which I personally don't think is the case) then we still arrive at square one as God is all knowing. So we end up with a God that invented a torture chamber, then makes little things and watches those little things get tortured. I don't equate that with love of any kind.
 
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larry_boy_44

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Nice ad-hominem. How is having compassion for someone "selfish" or "self-centered"? You still haven't answered the question.

Do you believe that a loving God (who presumably cares about humanity and has compassion for human emotion) would force a person to choose between a live of misery and loneliness or an eternity in hell?

Or maybe the God you believe in isn't a "loving God" -- that would make more sense.

it isn't selfish as in "you only care about yourself"

its selfish as in "you want everyone to only care about themselves"

and it doesn't work like that.

And that loving God didn't intend for any of the stuff we're dealing with to happen, we did that to ourselves because, for whatever reason, we can't stop sinning.
 
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SiderealExalt

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it isn't selfish as in "you only care about yourself"

its selfish as in "you want everyone to only care about themselves"

and it doesn't work like that.

That doesn't even make sense.

And that loving God didn't intend for any of the stuff we're dealing with to happen, we did that to ourselves because, for whatever reason, we can't stop sinning.

Larry just doesn't seem to understand what omniscience means. Unless of course this God figure of Christianity is just a limited, finite being like everything else. Which then puts into question such a things capacity to have unquestionable authority or authority at all in regards to moral decisions. Particularly in light of this beings track record, which does not point to love, compassion or humility.
 
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