I went for about 6 weeks?!

[luv4godremains]

I stopped counting cos it stressed me out, but, it was about 6 weeks, but now, my legs are a complete mess, ad I feel like poop thanks to the fact that my friend dies and I go and cut my leg up!
my mum bought me a dress, it's knee length, but my cuts are on my calfs, anyone know how to hide cuts on that part of your leg? I could just wear trousers underneath, but mum keeps telling me off for that, even though it looks pretty cool!

???

 

[Renwolf]

This is gonna be long. Sorry about that. Stick with me, though. First, congrats on the 6 weeks! No seriously, even though you had a set back, that's a huge accomplishment. Give yourself credit for that. I'm so sorry your friend died and I can certainly understand that triggering a SI relapse. A relapse is a chance to evaluate some of the reasons and motivations behind your self injury.

How were you feeling before you self injured? What are some things you can do to recognize that feeling in the future? When you feel that way, what are some things you can do instead of self injuring? How did you feel after self injuring? What are some things that you can do to get that feeling without self injuring?

For example (and I'm just speaking for myself here):
Before I self injure, I feel sad, which makes me feel angry, which makes me want to hurt myself. After I hurt myself, I feel strong and more in control. So next time I feel sad, maybe I can write down what I'm feeling and why, I can remind myself that feeling sad is not a bad thing. It's normal and natural to feel sad sometimes and it's no reason to get angry at myself. Maybe I can call a friend just to chat, to remind myself that I'm not alone. Maybe I can go for a run around the block, or lift some weights, or do something else to remind myself that feeling sad doesn't make me weak. I'm still strong and in control of myself and I don't need to hurt myself in order to prove that.

Once you start tracking your feelings, how you feel before SI and how you feel after, you can make a list. When I feel like A, do B, C, D and E.

Make a safe box. Put the list of safe alternatives in the safe box. Put comforting things in the safe box. Momentos from when you were little, a stuffed animal, pretty things like dried flowers, a bottle of perfume, a rosary, prayer beads, a book of psalms. Whatever makes you feel better. When you feel triggered, instead of reaching for sharps, reach for your safe box.

I keep a stop watch in my safe box so I can play the 15 minute game. Make yourself wait 15 minutes before hurting yourself. Once that 15 minutes is up, see if you can wait another 15. And another 15. Even if you end up hurting yourself, you can congratulate yourself on having stayed safe 15 minutes longer than you might have otherwise.

Keep your sharps in an inconvenient place. I keep my sharps in a locked box on the top shelf of my bedroom closet. I keep the key in the basement. Depending on where I am in the house, I either have to go up a flight of stairs and then down a flight, or down two flights. Sometimes that's just enough time to make me think about what I'm about to do before I do it.

As for hiding cuts on your legs, what about opaque tights? Even dark colored panty hose might be enough camouflage. If the cuts have scabbed over, you can cover them with makeup first. Foundation cream and powder will work in a pinch. If the area is really red, apply some green tinted cover up cream first to neutralize the redness. Make up plus pantyhose or tights should do the trick, I'd think.

Good luck and take care!

 

[bassdrum1]

yeah some of my friends do that. the look is awesome. i guess u could try make up or depending on how many cuts r on your leg u could use a band aid to cover it up. i really don't know cause mine was always near the wrist and i could always hide them since i had that punkish style at the time.

 

[bassdrum1]

plamers coco butter with vitamin e. i heard that helps make scars less visible.

 

[luv4godremains]

thanks guys for the encouragement and advice, and you know what, I know I CAN do this, even though it will take time and probably alot of failing at it, I can do this, after all, we are supposed to be able to do anything through Christ, and, each time I slip up, as REnWolf said, I can use it to reflect on! and, both me and my friend have made some mistakes on things like this, so, we basically asid, we wont promise eachother anything, but we promise to try, and we promise ourselves, basically because you can't do something like this for someone else! he he, so, yer, God will give everyone on here the strength to stop, we just have to try, and have to pray, and need to want to stop!