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I was wondering what your views were on the use of Christian Dating Sites.

FutureAndAHope

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I don't have a problem with them. I found my wife on a Christian Dating Site. You will find good and not-so-good people on the sites, but it comes down to using wisdom and acting in a Godly way with the people you meet.

The benefit of using a Christain site is that most of the people are Christians, and looking to get connected with other Christains.
 
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port41919

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Do you think born again christians should use Christian Dating Sites?
I don't see any reason not to. Like every dating website you have to be careful. You want to make sure the person is who he/she claims to be. Go very slowly. Red flag if asking for money which may happen 6 months down the road after you're "hooked". Pray about it. Purposely listen and look for red flags. A lot of people want to be in a relationship at any cost. If you are a friend to yourself and enjoy your own company it is less likely you will be fooled by a catfish. I hope this helps, and God bless, Sally
 
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Jane2468

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I don't see any reason not to. Like every dating website you have to be careful. You want to make sure the person is who he/she claims to be. Go very slowly. Red flag if asking for money which may happen 6 months down the road after you're "hooked". Pray about it. Purposely listen and look for red flags. A lot of people want to be in a relationship at any cost. If you are a friend to yourself and enjoy your own company it is less likely you will be fooled by a catfish. I hope this helps, and God bless, Sally
I totally agree with everything you have said. I have just started using a christian dating site and for obvious reasons I have said that I'm interested in a friendship. I do think it's important to pray about this and to be aware of red flags. Asking for money is one of those but there are a lot of others that you need to look for when someone contacts you. I've noticed that there are a number of people on there who when asked what their faith tradition is, answer 'just christian'. I've interpreted this as meaning that they have no church involvement because when you read their profile it has little if anything to say about any faith that they might have. It makes me wonder why people like that want to use a christian dating site but I absolutely agree that it's up to us as born again christians to pray about all of this and use wisdom.
 
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Jane2468

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I don't have a problem with them. I found my wife on a Christian Dating Site. You will find good and not-so-good people on the sites, but it comes down to using wisdom and acting in a Godly way with the people you meet.

The benefit of using a Christain site is that most of the people are Christians, and looking to get connected with other Christains.
I totally agree with what you have said and it's important to remember that there are good and not-so-good people on there. I do think you have to go very slowly, using wisdom and acting in a Godly way with the people you meet, be they good and not-so-good people.

I see you've quoted Romans 8:28 which was my Baptismal Promise. It's always lovely to see that verse. Thank you for replying.
 
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Jane2468

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In america my impression of European countries is of a very secular place. Are there many christian dating sites in England, i would not think so.
There are quite a few and some of them are American based. However, as already stated here, there are good and not-so-good people on these sites and a lot of wisdom and prayer is required when using these sites.
 
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dqhall

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Do you think born again christians should use Christian Dating Sites?
If you want a relationship or to get married you might try. There are Christians in other dating sites too. No guarantee a Christian dating site will be populated with 100% Christians of the your beliefs.

I met a lady online who told me she wrote to every man in the dating site list of local profiles and only two wrote back. I was writing to women, most did not write back. A few did. Without me giving enough love and forgiveness, I live alone. Am in my 60’s anyway.
 
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d taylor

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There are quite a few and some of them are American based. However, as already stated here, there are good and not-so-good people on these sites and a lot of wisdom and prayer is required when using these sites.

What do you mean American based sites that are having English profiles for dating in America or England.
 
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Reluctant Theologian

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There are a lot of companies set up as christian dating sites in the UK eg Christian Mingle, Christian Cafe and Christian Connection.

UK-based ones seem to target Commonwealth-only audiences (like Christian Connection); if you want to think outside of your language/culture-box you may want to consider different ones :)
 
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Bob Crowley

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I (blush) met my wife through a Christian singles group, and we've been married for 31 years.

Like other posters I don't have a problem with them, provided that anyone searching for a lifetime partner takes it very, very slowly. While most of the people on the site would be Christian, you can bet some of them would be criminals looking for victims.

But that's the case with any dating site, Christian or not.

When I was Presbyterian, my pastor said he'd seen some good (Christian) marriages come from newspaper advertisements.

Most churches are small playing fields. They're not all mega-churches or anything like it.

Several of the married members of my old Presbyterian church met each other in the church, but not everybody was so lucky. They had to look elsewhere. Back then Christian online dating sites didn't exist, but they do now.

Pray about it, and let your head rule your heart, something that's difficult to do when it comes to matters of the heart.
 
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public hermit

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Do you think born again christians should use Christian Dating Sites?

I don't see it as being much different than the old days when Christians would meet at church and date. You're looking for someone like minded, which is what such a site is intended to enable.

Of course, there is a difference in that it's online. People tend to put their best foot forward, and that is somewhat exacerbated online. So you have to be careful. But beyond that, I think it's great to be able to locate like minded folks online. I hope you find what you're looking for or better. :)
 
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bèlla

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Since others have answered your question I’ll share a few tips to aid your search. While I haven’t used Christian dating sites I’ve met suitors through other channels (forums).

Keep in mind, most profiles aren’t wholly honest. The majority present their ideal self and lifestyle. It’s important to ask questions to ascertain what percentage of their disclosure is current/in process. Lest you assume they’re doing it all and discover the bulk is ‘one day’.

Before you craft your statement take a moment to consider the things you value most in others and write them down. It’s easy to focus on the big stuff but the little things often make or break relationships. Don’t underestimate the value of character, vision, fun, communication and great discourse. Daily living is far richer when you spend it with someone you enjoy, respect and love conversing with.

You needn’t disclose everything nor do I recommend it. You aren’t speaking to everyone. You’re directing the message to your complement. Avoid generalities and open-ended statements. Tell the truth and paint him a picture. Reveal yourself and the life you have in mind in this manner.

If possible, have your pictures taken professionally. You don’t need a lot. A headshot, full body, and something fun is best. Make sure the mood echoes the one in your statement. If its elegance do the same. If its lighthearted follow suit.

Guard your heart and don’t be surprised if you’re flooded with messages. Many (men) spend years on those sites with little to no engagement. And a lot of them are desperate. Let discrimination be your guide. Take care in your discourse. If the connection is improbable be upfront don’t drag it out. The longer you converse the more confident they’ll become in their pursuit.

Be patient. In this medium women have the upper hand and many resent it. There’s Christian men in their 20s, 30s and above who’ve never had a date or companion. Be mindful of the disparity when addressing the subject with others. Expanding the pool didn’t widen the field it narrowed it. Ordinary is out of fashion. Men who are personable, charismatic and successful are in demand. Excitement is the elephant in the room. Hence their struggle.

Faith is important but don’t make it your central topic. You can hide a lot of flaws through religion. Focus on his character to determine who he is in light of his beliefs. Pay attention to temperament and irritations (personal or societal) it comes out eventually.

Above all, let him talk. Listen carefully. It’s hard to do when you’re speaking. Keep your emotions in check while getting acquainted until you know who you’re dealing with. Don’t devote too much energy to inference. Stick with the facts and what he says and does. You’ll avoid overthinking.

Good luck!

~bella
 
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Jane2468

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Since others have answered your question I’ll share a few tips to aid your search. While I haven’t used Christian dating sites I’ve met suitors through other channels (forums).

Keep in mind, most profiles aren’t wholly honest. The majority present their ideal self and lifestyle. It’s important to ask questions to ascertain what percentage of their disclosure is current/in process. Lest you assume they’re doing it all and discover the bulk is ‘one day’.

Before you craft your statement take a moment to consider the things you value most in others and write them down. It’s easy to focus on the big stuff but the little things often make or break relationships. Don’t underestimate the value of character, vision, fun, communication and great discourse. Daily living is far richer when you spend it with someone you enjoy, respect and love conversing with.

You needn’t disclose everything nor do I recommend it. You aren’t speaking to everyone. You’re directing the message to your complement. Avoid generalities and open-ended statements. Tell the truth and paint him a picture. Reveal yourself and the life you have in mind in this manner.

If possible, have your pictures taken professionally. You don’t need a lot. A headshot, full body, and something fun is best. Make sure the mood echoes the one in your statement. If its elegance do the same. If its lighthearted follow suit.

Guard your heart and don’t be surprised if you’re flooded with messages. Many (men) spend years on those sites with little to no engagement. And a lot of them are desperate. Let discrimination be your guide. Take care in your discourse. If the connection is improbable be upfront don’t drag it out. The longer you converse the more confident they’ll become in their pursuit.

Be patient. In this medium women have the upper hand and many resent it. There’s Christian men in their 20s, 30s and above who’ve never had a date or companion. Be mindful of the disparity when addressing the subject with others. Expanding the pool didn’t widen the field it narrowed it. Ordinary is out of fashion. Men who are personable, charismatic and successful are in demand. Excitement is the elephant in the room. Hence their struggle.

Faith is important but don’t make it your central topic. You can hide a lot of flaws through religion. Focus on his character to determine who he is in light of his beliefs. Pay attention to temperament and irritations (personal or societal) it comes out eventually.

Above all, let him talk. Listen carefully. It’s hard to do when you’re speaking. Keep your emotions in check while getting acquainted until you know who you’re dealing with. Don’t devote too much energy to inference. Stick with the facts and what he says and does. You’ll avoid overthinking.

Good luck!

~bella
Thank you so much for this very valuable information. I appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
 
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