I want a therapist but can’t get one!

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

As a teacher, a normal high schooler should walk his butt into his school and speak to:
1) Guidance counselor
2) Student dean
3) Vice principal
4) Principal

We can get you services.

I was a teen who wanted to commit suicide as a freshman. My (then) boyfriend went straight to a guidance counselor and I got pulled in to talk to a guidance counselor/therapist. She called my parents (not as bad as you might think - totally worth it looking back almost 20 years) and made check up calls too.

Get the help that you need. You deserve it.

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
To be honest. I don't know what will work, this has gone on for about a year, and hasn't ended.

I have depression and anxiety - maybe OCD at times. Besides talking to one or two professionals, I found that therapy FOR ME gave me too much anxiety - like full on panic attacks before and after. Reading, talking to others in small groups, and online discussion forums did wonders for me.

I'm almost 33, still have both (they don't really go away because it is more a physical thing than a mental thing you can "fix"), but I'm at the point where I'm like "Oh look I'm getting depressed... okay here's what I got to do to get through this". My husband, who has none of these issues, has worked for a long time with me (12 years) and now understands when I need to be left alone, when I need to be hugged, and how to talk me through episodes.

It gets better if you open up and let yourself admit it, share it, and work through it.

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
As a teacher, a normal high schooler should walk his butt into his school and speak to:
1) Guidance counselor
2) Student dean
3) Vice principal
4) Principal

We can get you services.

I was a teen who wanted to commit suicide as a freshman. My (then) boyfriend went straight to a guidance counselor and I got pulled in to talk to a guidance counselor/therapist. She called my parents (not as bad as you might think - totally worth it looking back almost 20 years) and made check up calls too.

Get the help that you need. You deserve it.

Could a pastor help?

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
Could a pastor help?

I do include going to church and reading the Bible or another devotion to help me work through what I deal with.

Will those help me to understand why I have these things going on? No, they won't. I learned more about the science about what I'm going through and how medication or habits can help alleviate the symptoms these diseases have through reading research and talking to others (doctors, patients, etc).

And that is OKAY. My religion/theology does not need to fix my physical and mental issues. God made us smart enough to know about science and how to care for ourselves. No need to deny it.

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
I do include going to church and reading the Bible or another devotion to help me work through what I deal with.

Will those help me to understand why I have these things going on? No, they won't. I learned more about the science about what I'm going through and how medication or habits can help alleviate the symptoms these diseases have through reading research and talking to others (doctors, patients, etc).

And that is OKAY. My religion/theology does not need to fix my physical and mental issues. God made us smart enough to know about science and how to care for ourselves. No need to deny it.

ok...

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
ok...

So what's your next step?

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
So what's your next step?

I have no idea, I might talk to my dad about it. See what he recommends, maybe check to see if his insurance covers it.

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

That sounds like a great plan! Let me know how it goes

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

But remember:

As a teacher, a normal high schooler should walk his butt into his school and speak to:
1) Guidance counselor
2) Student dean
3) Vice principal
4) Principal

We can get you services.

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
But remember:

As a teacher, a normal high schooler should walk his butt into his school and speak to:
1) Guidance counselor
2) Student dean
3) Vice principal
4) Principal

We can get you services.

I don't know what to say when I walk into their office though. I don't want to sound stupid. I also don't see how such a small problem before evolved into such a gigantic problem.

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I don't know what to say when I walk into their office though. I don't want to sound stupid. I also don't see how such a small problem before evolved into such a gigantic problem.

Hello, I'm (state your name). I would like to talk to somebody about what I've been going through and what I've been thinking. I think I may need professional support, but I am not sure who to talk to about that.

And that's it. You can do it at any time. Skip a class (your teacher won't mind at all).

Because of my situation (someone told them about me), I was pulled out of class and talked to a guidance counselor.

Nobody is going to jump to the conclusion that this is a big to do (aka suicidal). You have stuff you want to work through and honestly you're at the age where you NEED guidance to work through this stuff. Your brain isn't fully developed yet, your body has hormones pumping through it at all different kinds of levels, and you're dealing with stuff that you never dealt with as a younger kid (I'm assuming here - forgive me if I'm wrong).

If talking is too hard, do this: Write out a note (like what I shared above) and hand it to a secretary, admin, guidance counselor, or your homeroom teacher. Any adult there is willing to help - just let us know.

Caleb22 · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
Hello, I'm (state your name). I would like to talk to somebody about what I've been going through and what I've been thinking. I think I may need professional support, but I am not sure who to talk to about that.

And that's it. You can do it at any time. Skip a class (your teacher won't mind at all).

Because of my situation (someone told them about me), I was pulled out of class and talked to a guidance counselor.

Nobody is going to jump to the conclusion that this is a big to do (aka suicidal). You have stuff you want to work through and honestly you're at the age where you NEED guidance to work through this stuff. Your brain isn't fully developed yet, your body has hormones pumping through it at all different kinds of levels, and you're dealing with stuff that you never dealt with as a younger kid (I'm assuming here - forgive me if I'm wrong).

If talking is too hard, do this: Write out a note (like what I shared above) and hand it to a secretary, admin, guidance counselor, or your homeroom teacher. Any adult there is willing to help - just let us know.

I do I start talking to my dad about this?

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

How do you talk to your Dad about this?

Verbally: Hi Dad. I've been having some difficult times and would really like to talk to a professional therapist about this. Do you know if our insurance covers a few sessions? If not, can we find me a therapist? I can also talk to my guidance counselor at school tomorrow.

Can't share that? (I wasn't able to with my parents) Write it down in a letter, give it to Dad, and let's get working on helping you through this.

31gH9N.9. · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I watched a movie that had disturbing images in it and ever since it has scarred me and has negatively affected my life. The trauma sticks with me, and I get panic attacks a lot and my thoughts just crumble and the thoughts won’t go away. I want to go to a therapist but my dad always pushes me to go to a pastor or teen leader to help me. But I want professional help! People that work with anxiety head on! I don’t want this! There are no online therapists that are free. I don’t know what to do!!!

I feel for you man. I have been going to an OCD specialist for about a month now. Since she is a professional, she knows things that pastors don't know. The only problem is that she recomends actions that I believe are unbiblical. I'm very sad about this because I might stop seeing her.

Personally, I'm hoping that much prayer and bible study will help. " Thy testimonies also are my delight and my counselors" Psalms 119:24

Maybe try to find an OCD specialist who is a believer and won't ask you to do unbiblical stuff. I havent found one yet but that doesn't mean they're not out there. " Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly..." * some of the things the therapist I've been seeing has told me are very helpful and not bad. But she wanted me to try going to a different kind of church or maybe a buddhist temple just to get over a fear I have of leaving the church I've been going to. There's other things too. I really hope you find help from someone and keep praying and studying, I know how it feels and it's terrible sometimes. And stay away from movies! Some of them will even seem fine for the most part but because they're made by worldly people they will put in worldy stuff. Documentaries can be cool sometimes or nature films though.

Long Island Pilgrim · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22,

I just want to share a few more things that may help you. The Bible has a diferent word for anxiety and that word is fear. One thing that can really help you is listening to sermons about overcoming fear. Do a search in Google of the words "overcoming fear sermons + youtube " or "overcoming fear in Christ + youtube". There are many, many videos you can warch online for free. The third link is just an audio podcast ( not a video).

I did a search for you and I found a few videos which I am enclosing.

Episode #116 - Fear Conquered - ShulamitePodcast.com

God Bless...

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Should you tell your Dad about this?

Depends on your situation....

My Mom = I'm attached to the hip with my Mom. Love and adore her. She was heartbroken I didn't tell her. School counselor told her instead. Was very supportive through the process.

My Dad = Not as close with my Dad, but if I need help on how to fix something or open a bank account, pay taxes, buy a house, etc he knows it and is happy to teach me. We love tech and education talk. I know he loves me but not the mushy gushy stuff. He found out what happened, asked me "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I broke down in front of him and I have never seen him so sad in his life. My reaction broke his heart and the "not mushy gushy guy" was all hugs (he couldn't talk at that point). He didn't follow up - not the type - but looking back over the years during stressful times that I was clearly upset, he would reach out with kind comments, a pat on the back, or a hug.

Neither is a better or worse person to talk to. We each carry our own load and show love in different ways.

(My Dad grew up in Germany after WWII, where his father had to leave his family behind or they would all be killed, and was forced to work for the Nazi's. Lots of drama- I didn't know that as a kid, but I do now and I totally get why my Dad is the way he is. He loves the heck of me and my sister now that I understand him better.)

Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane · Feb 22, 2018

Caleb22 said:
I don't know what to say when I walk into their office though. I don't want to sound stupid. I also don't see how such a small problem before evolved into such a gigantic problem.

Caleb22, for such a question when you walk into their office in school-you shouldn't be embarrassed. Its possible this can trigger more than is already triggered. Just be honest, tell them what you told us. That's what they're there for. They deal with this stuff, just say you're having a very disturbed way of living out your days. You don't want this to go further down the hole. These traumas are triggering for many people, it's not a small problem, it's a very bad picture that I promised myself I will do what I can to not see horror films anymore or movies that have disturbing concepts as well. Not as bad as you though. There are many triggers and what you ran into is just one of them. Go online and find a book about this stuff and just get it from a library and it's possible you will see others confessing the same thing God willing you can find such books. Trust me I'm like that too.

Angeldove97 · Feb 22, 2018

Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane said:
Caleb22, for such a question when you walk into their office in school-you shouldn't be embarrassed. Its possible this can trigger more than is already triggered. Just be honest, tell them what you told us. That's what they're there for. They deal with this stuff, just say you're having a very disturbed way of living out your days. You don't want this to go further down the hole.

As a teacher, I can tell you how TRUE this is. I love and adore my students. I lost a student once - messed up family drama - and to be honest, I knew something had happened before it was reported. It was and remains really hard when I think of him every September. (Going on 5 years now)

Teachers love their students. We would be broken up inside knowing that you're suffering silently. We don't want you to suffer. We might not be able to personally help - we are not trained that way - but we love you and want you to get the help you need.

I'm so thankful when parents share with us that they may have lost a family member, are going through a divorce, or some other issue - it means I can keep an eye out for my kiddos.

Dropout_Theologian · Feb 22, 2018

Hey Caleb, sorry if we've been overwhelming. If you chose one person to in this thread to listen to chose the lady with the pink sparkles. Seriously.

Drifter Kybe Scythe Kane · Feb 22, 2018

Angeldove97 said:
As a teacher, I can tell you how TRUE this is. I love and adore my students. I lost a student once - messed up family drama - and to be honest, I knew something had happened before it was reported. It was and remains really hard when I think of him every September. (Going on 5 years now)

Teachers love their students. We would be broken up inside knowing that you're suffering silently. We don't want you to suffer. We might not be able to personally help - we are not trained that way - but we love you and want you to get the help you need.

I'm so thankful when parents share with us that they may have lost a family member, are going through a divorce, or some other issue - it means I can keep an eye out for my kiddos.

Well that's certainly good to know, I was trying to give a little advice, it's good to know I actually said something that's true. I've heard of these things while I was in high school...hmmm aren't there therapists in high schools?

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