Looking back a my childhood , it must have been first grade when I started struggling with this . At first i was confused i must have been 5 or 6 . At this age i didnt know what homosexual was. It wasnt until Jr High where it grew stronger and I knew what it was . I never gave into it because growing up in a christain family , I knew it was wrong!! Homosexuality is a sin . Now High School was torture. Some how people could see right through me and see my struggles. My years in Highscool were horrible. I felt all alone abanded by my friends. And even made fun of . I had kept this horrible secret to myself all my life!!Many times i have thought about just ending it. Yes suicide was the answer. NOT !! thats a sin too. I didnt want to put my mother throught that and I didnt want to end up in hell, but the devil would whisper in my ear , you are coming here anyway . I would ask the Lord Why me?? Was it because i was physically and verbaly abused by my christian father !!What the lord punished me with a horrible christian father and homosexuality too!! It wasnt till I was almost 30 when i finally came to my family for help. They had no idea , or they did but didnt tell me. And yet today I still struggle. I am afraid to meet friends because sometimes this urge gets in the way. what have i been cursed not to have male friends too. Lord all I ask is for you to take it away.
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I too Struggle with Homosexuality
- Thread starter WarriorforGod
- Start date
The gospel does not make promises to eradicate whatever sin you have a weakness to. Yes God can completely change you but its not a promise it will be done. However we are promised help to fight the good fight. I have struggled all my life with it ever since I have been sexually active and i am now 35yrs.
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Your basic homosexual desires are unlikely to go away. Stop beating yourself up for feelings you have not chosen to have. You have prayed enough for God to make you heterosexual. It appears pretty clear he does not intend to wave any wands and change you. Accept this and moved to the next step. There are many people in your situation, so you are definitely not alone.
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JESUSIAM
A Son of God
Dear Friend,
If Jesus could restore me, the worst of all homosexuals, He can restore you too!!!
Spend more time reading and studying the Word. Saturate your mind with the instructions of the Lord. Focus on doing what is pleasing to God. You have to stand your ground when impure thoughts and temptation comes and try to discourage you. You are a child of the living God and He has given you all the power you need to say "NO". The more you seek of Him, the stronger you become in dealing with impure thoughts and temptation. There might be a time when you might slip, but don't get discourage and dwell on your mistake. In Christ Jesus, you have what it takes to overcome. Fight the good fight and keep the faith. Be honest with yourself and others, spend more time with friends that you know are sincere and are there to help you out regardless what the situation may be. Most important, strenghten your relationship with the Father through prayer, remember He is the One and Only who will truely be there for you.
You can face each day certain that your life and future are in the hands of Someone who loves you unconditionally. Many of us get caught up in striving to please God in the things we do that we forget our first and highest calling is just to be in fellowship with him. Faith is the most powerful of all forces operating in humanity, and when you have it in depth, nothing can get you down, nothing. If you refuse to faint and fall away, you will have the victory. The only defeated Chrsitian is the one who quits (2Tim 2:3). Things may get a little rough at times but let me assure you, you'll always come out on top if you endure hardness as a good soldier. Get a revelation of God's love for you by meditating on the covenant He made with you (John 3:16). The Bible says God's mercies are new every morning. So if you'll take God at His Word, you can wake up every morning to a brand-new you.
In His Name,
Jesus
If Jesus could restore me, the worst of all homosexuals, He can restore you too!!!
Spend more time reading and studying the Word. Saturate your mind with the instructions of the Lord. Focus on doing what is pleasing to God. You have to stand your ground when impure thoughts and temptation comes and try to discourage you. You are a child of the living God and He has given you all the power you need to say "NO". The more you seek of Him, the stronger you become in dealing with impure thoughts and temptation. There might be a time when you might slip, but don't get discourage and dwell on your mistake. In Christ Jesus, you have what it takes to overcome. Fight the good fight and keep the faith. Be honest with yourself and others, spend more time with friends that you know are sincere and are there to help you out regardless what the situation may be. Most important, strenghten your relationship with the Father through prayer, remember He is the One and Only who will truely be there for you.
You can face each day certain that your life and future are in the hands of Someone who loves you unconditionally. Many of us get caught up in striving to please God in the things we do that we forget our first and highest calling is just to be in fellowship with him. Faith is the most powerful of all forces operating in humanity, and when you have it in depth, nothing can get you down, nothing. If you refuse to faint and fall away, you will have the victory. The only defeated Chrsitian is the one who quits (2Tim 2:3). Things may get a little rough at times but let me assure you, you'll always come out on top if you endure hardness as a good soldier. Get a revelation of God's love for you by meditating on the covenant He made with you (John 3:16). The Bible says God's mercies are new every morning. So if you'll take God at His Word, you can wake up every morning to a brand-new you.
In His Name,
Jesus
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Episaw
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Warrior for God, the fact that you have written what you have shows that you have taken the first step towards recovery as nothing can happen until you want it too. Being homosexual is not a permanent state of affairs otherwise God would not be God.
As God can do anything he can heal the cause of your homosexuality which is only the fruit of a root so the homosexuality is not the problem.
I notice that you talk about a "horrible christian father" and that may be your key. Homosexuality is the product of rejection that comes about from emotional trauma that happens earlier in our life.
If your father was as you described, the rejection you experience may have been through him spending more time on the church than you; treating you differently to your siblings if you have any; constantly receiving negative comments from him are some reasons.
If that is the case, I am sure you can pinpoint specific incidents where these sort of things happen. When they do we internalise them and make a judgment that I am not good enough or he doesn't love me or that i am not really wanted.
Think about it and if you indentify something talk about it as a start towards your healing.
As God can do anything he can heal the cause of your homosexuality which is only the fruit of a root so the homosexuality is not the problem.
I notice that you talk about a "horrible christian father" and that may be your key. Homosexuality is the product of rejection that comes about from emotional trauma that happens earlier in our life.
If your father was as you described, the rejection you experience may have been through him spending more time on the church than you; treating you differently to your siblings if you have any; constantly receiving negative comments from him are some reasons.
If that is the case, I am sure you can pinpoint specific incidents where these sort of things happen. When they do we internalise them and make a judgment that I am not good enough or he doesn't love me or that i am not really wanted.
Think about it and if you indentify something talk about it as a start towards your healing.
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Thanks for reply , it some how made me feel alot better. But sometimes I am scared to fall and not get back up. I have never gave into the temptations and thats a hard fight and I get discouraged. How does the Lord see me , as this terrible sin? My brother told me that the mind is a battlefield. It torture. Thanks for advice .
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Episaw
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May I suggest to you Warrior of God that Straightforward's advice is incorrect. The scriptures clearly show that God does change us whatever our circumstances are and sin is. (1 Cor. 6:9-11)
Because homosexuality is a stronghold of satan as it is one if his tools to distort the image of God, most people do struggle with the problem but it is not a fait acompli.
If God changes some and not others then he is a selective and vindictive God and that is not the one I know.
You are a success because you have resisted temptation and I commend you for that. The important thing is not to try and deal with the homosexuality as I said before. The need is for healing of the rejection which you had from your father.
Forgive your father and ask God to heal you of the rejection. Once it is dealt with things will become much easier.
Because homosexuality is a stronghold of satan as it is one if his tools to distort the image of God, most people do struggle with the problem but it is not a fait acompli.
If God changes some and not others then he is a selective and vindictive God and that is not the one I know.
You are a success because you have resisted temptation and I commend you for that. The important thing is not to try and deal with the homosexuality as I said before. The need is for healing of the rejection which you had from your father.
Forgive your father and ask God to heal you of the rejection. Once it is dealt with things will become much easier.
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Thanks Episaw, that makes alot of sense and I have read that in some books. But I really never understood the why?? Why me?? I will dig into it more
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Episaw
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How does the Lord see you Warrior of God? The answer is simple he sees you as perfect. How do we know?
Col 2:10 And you are complete in Him, who is the Head of all principality and power
Think of a finished jigsaw or as the Greek says like a net full of fish.
1Co 2:6 But, we speak wisdom among those who are perfect; yet not the wisdom of this world, nor of the rulers of this world, that come to nothing.
Perfect means complete.
Col 4:12 Epaphras greets you, he being of you, a servant of Christ, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.
Col 3:3 For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God.
John Wesley did not use perfection to describe sinlessness. Similarly, perfection is not the state of being unable to sin, but rather the state of choosing not to sin. Wesley's perfection represents a change of life, a freedom from willful rebellion against God, impure intentions, and pride. Wesley also did not view perfection as permanent.
This is what Osawald Chambers said...
Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship with God that shows itself to be true even amid the seemingly unimportant aspects of human life.
Enough has been said that shows it is more about what he does rather than what we do.
Unfortunately teaching today in the church ignores essentials and majors on the fairy floss. What we are in Christ is one of the foundation stones of our faith, and people get into all sorts of strife because they are not aware of who God is and what our relationship with him consists of.
Col 2:10 And you are complete in Him, who is the Head of all principality and power
Think of a finished jigsaw or as the Greek says like a net full of fish.
1Co 2:6 But, we speak wisdom among those who are perfect; yet not the wisdom of this world, nor of the rulers of this world, that come to nothing.
Perfect means complete.
Col 4:12 Epaphras greets you, he being of you, a servant of Christ, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.
Col 3:3 For you died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God.
John Wesley did not use perfection to describe sinlessness. Similarly, perfection is not the state of being unable to sin, but rather the state of choosing not to sin. Wesley's perfection represents a change of life, a freedom from willful rebellion against God, impure intentions, and pride. Wesley also did not view perfection as permanent.
This is what Osawald Chambers said...
Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship with God that shows itself to be true even amid the seemingly unimportant aspects of human life.
Enough has been said that shows it is more about what he does rather than what we do.
Unfortunately teaching today in the church ignores essentials and majors on the fairy floss. What we are in Christ is one of the foundation stones of our faith, and people get into all sorts of strife because they are not aware of who God is and what our relationship with him consists of.
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I am 25 and in pretty much the same boat you are. Had no friends in high school. It was four years of torture, and college was even worse. I was completely ostracized by everybody. Would give anything for close male friends but this struggle gets in the way of that, and causes me to feel inferior when with other guys.
I have talked to may family about it and all they can say is keep praying, which is good but that alone won't solve this problem.
I believe the root cause of this is I never had any male friends growing up, never had a best friend that most guys have, and my dad was constantly criticizing everything I did. I am 25 now though, "bromances" rarely happen at my age and I can't change my past, but just can't forget it either.
I gave into the temptation and came out as openly gay back in 2009, but the homosexual lifestyle is incompatible with my Christian beliefs and the life God has planned for me, so I left it behind. It now seems I am destined to be depressed day in and day out, but God never said our Christian struggle would be easy, no matter what the sin.
I am here say that you are not alone in this struggle.
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Episaw
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I believe that the key to your situation is right there in the words that I have bolded. For a boy, their relationship with their father is crucial. In counselling homosexuals, I have found that the majority of them were never affirmed by their father.
Your experience is just that and as a result you feel rejected by him so you have turned to homosexuality to find that which your father never gave you.
As we and you know, it is a substitute for the real thing, which you were made for. Getting your relationship with your father back on track will go someway to solving the issue so how do we do that?
First, your father may not have realised the effect he was having on you so we have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Next you will need to talk to him and let him know how you feel, not to accuse but so as he can see how his responses have affected you.
Next and this is the hard part, you will need to forgive him for his actions even if it means that you will have to ask God to help you do this. Your father needs to hear this forgivness for him to be healed in the situation and change his attitude to you. Don't be surprised if a few tears are shed.
Once you have forgiven him, you can ask God to heal your hurts and make you a new man. If any man is in Christ he is a new creature. The old has passed away and the new has come. You have had a blockage to prevent this happening. Now you can expect this to be your experience.
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