I thought that all people were welcome on this forum to be treated with respect...

[~RENEE~]

This is the internet. No one here knows you. They way it goes is. Respect others they will respect you.

 

[Tsadde]

Uh, that would be false.

How many times have we seen a person get attacked and called names like "child of the devil" just because they voiced an opinion contrary to the majority's? Quit a bit, I assure you.

The "respect is earned" fallacy puts people under a bondage that they have to please [for example] Mr. X personally, when in fact if Mr. X doesn't like them [never will], then Mr. X will never give Mr. Y the respect that Mr. Y has "rightfully earned".

So, why am I going to waste my time trying to respect a disrespectful person who will NEVER give me respect anyway?

See, I've spent my whole life [by the instructions of my parents] doing everything I could to please God and man, so I could earn their precious respect.

Here's a story ...

I grew up with ... "Ray", let's call him. I went to school with Ray from 3rd grade, all through school, finished high school, was in college with him for 3 years, then ten years with him in one church. Ray's parents, after 23 years of us being good friends [I introduced him to his wife, etc] decided for some weirdo reason to start showing their disrespect and displeasure toward me.

They wouldn't let me over to their house. His mom picked up once when I was leaving a message on the answering machine, and cut me off while I was talking, telling me not to ever call there again.

Ray couldn't figure it out. He called his parents "cowards" for not telling me what was on their minds, whatever it could have been.

So I went along, tried to be nice and respectful to his parents, who were like elders in the community, whose opinions we were supposed to respect, and whose standards we were supposed to live up to. So, I wrote a letter to his parents, apologizing nicely if I'd ever done anything to them, asking for their forgiveness, telling them that since they were ministers, if I'd ever done anything in the first place, how much should they as a mature man and woman forgive me by the grace God had given them.

Well, Ray's dad got prostate cancer, and was dying. He didn't have long to live when they finally decided they wanted to restore themselves to me. I went to a wedding that day, and Ray, his wife, and I were going to Hospice to see Ray's dad.

As soon as we arrived there, Hospice told us that Ray's dad had died 40 minutes before we got there.

I never got to be reconciled to Ray's dad.

At the funeral, which was widely attended, I read a tribute to Ray's dad, and his mom came up to me after the funeral and said, "We'll talk, okay?"

And she never talked to me after that.

I could go on with plenty of examples of how I have wasted my life trying to "earn" respect from those who will never give it to me to begin with. I can name you lots of people who have done this to me. And people ask me why I am so angry and bitter.

We all have people in our lives who will hold out on us, who don't like us, who think we're "not worthy".

They don't want to give us the promotion.
They don't want to give us the time of day.
They don't want to give us the car loan.
They don't want to give us the good grade in school.
They don't want to help us when we need it.

Pardon me for reacting so angrily and with such resistance.

I have learned through hard trial and affliction that "respect is earned" is a lie Satan uses to keep us on the treadmill of works to the point that we are unable to receive [or even to simply SEE] God's grace bestowed upon us.

Look at David.
His brothers and father put him in the back taking care of sheep.
They didn't call him up when the prophet looked for a king to anoint.
His wife called him out in front of people.
His king tried to kill him.
His children tried to overthrow his throne.

It doesn't matter what you do. If you have that curse on you, people will never respect you.

But I'm supposed to respect THEM.

Ow.
Such pain. I'm sorry you have been so hurt.

GG, Jesus respects you. When you get to the place where you can feel that deep inside, disrespectful treatment from others still hurts but it doesn't threaten to undo you.

Jesus respects you and loves you just the way you are right now. You don't have to do a thing to earn it. Let Him love you, GG. Let Him love you the way you were meant to be loved. Let God the Father be the perfect Dad. Show Him where it hurts and let Him bind up your wounds and just hold you close to his heart.

 

[charityagape]

So, why am I going to waste my time trying to respect a disrespectful person who will NEVER give me respect anyway?

SO you AGREE that you're not going to give respect to someone who (you think) does not respect you?

 

[GodsGlory]

SO you AGREE that you're not going to give respect to someone who (you think) does not respect you?

I'm taking the phrase "respect is earned" and I'm turning it around on the people who refuse to respect others. The highway runs two ways, and if they want to be judged by the standard "respect is earned", they've disqualified themselves by their own rule.

If they wish to live by the Law, then they've put themselves into quite a corner.

But if they want to play by the rules of grace and mercy, then maybe they can receive respect they themselves are unwilling to give.

I'm saying that respect is not earned; it is given.

John chapter 1 says, "He came unto his own, but his own received him not."

Basically, Jesus gave them respect even though they weren't willing to give it to him.

 

[pinetree]

this is respect sometimes in the real world!

 

[GodsGlory]

this is respect sometimes in the real world!

Just don't "go postal in the Spirit", as the Charismatics like to put it.

 

[razzelflabben]

Uh, that would be false.

How many times have we seen a person get attacked and called names like "child of the devil" just because they voiced an opinion contrary to the majority's? Quit a bit, I assure you.

The "respect is earned" fallacy puts people under a bondage that they have to please [for example] Mr. X personally, when in fact if Mr. X doesn't like them [never will], then Mr. X will never give Mr. Y the respect that Mr. Y has "rightfully earned".

So, why am I going to waste my time trying to respect a disrespectful person who will NEVER give me respect anyway?

See, I've spent my whole life [by the instructions of my parents] doing everything I could to please God and man, so I could earn their precious respect.

Here's a story ...

I grew up with ... "Ray", let's call him. I went to school with Ray from 3rd grade, all through school, finished high school, was in college with him for 3 years, then ten years with him in one church. Ray's parents, after 23 years of us being good friends [I introduced him to his wife, etc] decided for some weirdo reason to start showing their disrespect and displeasure toward me.

They wouldn't let me over to their house. His mom picked up once when I was leaving a message on the answering machine, and cut me off while I was talking, telling me not to ever call there again.

Ray couldn't figure it out. He called his parents "cowards" for not telling me what was on their minds, whatever it could have been.

So I went along, tried to be nice and respectful to his parents, who were like elders in the community, whose opinions we were supposed to respect, and whose standards we were supposed to live up to. So, I wrote a letter to his parents, apologizing nicely if I'd ever done anything to them, asking for their forgiveness, telling them that since they were ministers, if I'd ever done anything in the first place, how much should they as a mature man and woman forgive me by the grace God had given them.

Well, Ray's dad got prostate cancer, and was dying. He didn't have long to live when they finally decided they wanted to restore themselves to me. I went to a wedding that day, and Ray, his wife, and I were going to Hospice to see Ray's dad.

As soon as we arrived there, Hospice told us that Ray's dad had died 40 minutes before we got there.

I never got to be reconciled to Ray's dad.

At the funeral, which was widely attended, I read a tribute to Ray's dad, and his mom came up to me after the funeral and said, "We'll talk, okay?"

And she never talked to me after that.

I could go on with plenty of examples of how I have wasted my life trying to "earn" respect from those who will never give it to me to begin with. I can name you lots of people who have done this to me. And people ask me why I am so angry and bitter.

We all have people in our lives who will hold out on us, who don't like us, who think we're "not worthy".

They don't want to give us the promotion.
They don't want to give us the time of day.
They don't want to give us the car loan.
They don't want to give us the good grade in school.
They don't want to help us when we need it.

Pardon me for reacting so angrily and with such resistance.

I have learned through hard trial and affliction that "respect is earned" is a lie Satan uses to keep us on the treadmill of works to the point that we are unable to receive [or even to simply SEE] God's grace bestowed upon us.

Look at David.
His brothers and father put him in the back taking care of sheep.
They didn't call him up when the prophet looked for a king to anoint.
His wife called him out in front of people.
His king tried to kill him.
His children tried to overthrow his throne.

It doesn't matter what you do. If you have that curse on you, people will never respect you.

But I'm supposed to respect THEM.

Can I tell you a story?

Many years ago, I read the passage in the bible that says people will hate us because they hated God first. That day I did something really stupid, I prayed that God would be so alive in me that the world would hate me like they hated God, because they see him in me.

Now fast forward a bit and I am trying to make this short because we need to leave for a ball game.

I have been hated my many people (loved my many as well) We have been run out of churches for saying that God wants us to love everyone, including our enemies. I have a family member that hates me so much that she won't talk to me. One day, her husband came and talked to me and told me not to take any of it on myself and to stop trying to reconcile because it wasn't going to happen. The problem is a spiritual one that she alone has to deal with. That she doesn't even know what she is so upset about.

Your right about people who don't want to respect you won't. In addition, on something like the forum, there are times and people who will label you no matter what you say, as someone they disagree with and therefore you can do nothing right nor say anything right.

Sometimes it is so bad that another family member asked me what I thought of his choice for new kitchen cupboards. I told him I thought it was a good choice, that I liked it, he tried to start a fight with me over agreeing with him. Point is, you can't please everyone, and the bible tells us that the world is going to hate us. My advice from someone there and still there, aim to please God and don't worry about anyone else. And btw, it's easier to please God then you might think, but it does take courage.

 

[pinetree]

Just don't "go postal in the Spirit", as the Charismatics like to put it.

hey,at least they will listen...

 

[PETE_]

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[NewSong]

Maybe you got reported for a respect issue for another thread?

 

[charityagape]

Basically, Jesus gave them respect even though they weren't willing to give it to him.

But you're not willing to do the same thing?

 

[Elijah2]

this is respect sometimes in the real world!

You want to make sure it's loaded first, safety catch is off, and cocked, which this one isn't.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[charityagape]

You want to make sure it's loaded first, safety catch is off, and cocked, which this one isn't.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

It's scary that you know so much about guns.

 

[Elijah2]

It's scary that you know so much about guns.

Not scary to me, had more pointed at me than me pointing them at them.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[seekthetruth909]

Do I have to share the opinion of another person to get respect and to avoid getting reported?

A simple yes or no will do, thanks. [Editorializing unnecessary]

Just a yes or a no.

Hello GodsGlory.I appreciate your input and thank you for sharing your knowledge with me. The answer to your question is no. I am sorry if some people have reported you for expressing your opinion. We should always respect one another even in disagreement.

The whole point of debating here is to help each other see different points of view and to examine our own beliefs so we can grow as Christians. It should not be to boost our ego's and pride to feel good about our selves because we think of a good comeback reply to knock our fellow Christians down, and if we fail in this, then to report them.

I read somewhere that most people become entrenched in their opinions by the time they reach thirty years old. After that we become stubborn and closed minded.But if the Holy Spirit is active in our lives, this should not be the case.The Spirit will convict us to change our views over time and grow as Christians.The irony of this P/C forum is that during debate we see very little of fruits of the Spirit being displayed.Any one visiting from another denomination and reading many posts may conclude that the core beliefs of P/C are false by observing our behavior towards each other in this forum.

How can the gifts of the Spirit be active today if the fruits are absent? We claim the gift of tongues and other gifts, but if we do not displaylove, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,and self-control (Galatians 5:22) towards each other, then we have failed, and non P/C's will have a good reason to reject our core beliefs because by our actions, we are implying that the Holy Spirit has no power over our lives.

When I first came to this website three years ago I went to many forums of different denominations and while visiting the Eastern Orthodox forum, I observed the respect they had towards each other, even when in disagreement. They also had a willingness to examine their beliefs, leave behind their pride, and grow in the Spirit. Why can't we do the same here? If we can't display the fruits of patience,love,kindness, and gentleness, and respect towards each other, then the Spirit is lacking in our lives, which means all our posts here became meaningless rambles of prideful men and woman full of errors, and bad judgement.

[I apologize for editorializing]


"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." (Galatians 5:22)