I've been having some difficulties for some time now, as those of you who know me, know. I have a young family so I need to be sure they were taken care of. In the last week I wrote down all the financial info they'd need, what accounts we have, what debts, and the life insurance info. I'd been avoiding doing that because I knew that as long as I didn't I couldn't, in good conscience, leave those I love to financial turmoil. I take care of the family finances, you see, and if I were to suddenly die my wife probably wouldn't even know about the insurance policies (quarter mill).
And last night was the final straw. My wife sleeps early, with the baby, and at about 10, I went to the medicine cabinet. Men usually choose a direct method to end pain, a gun, most often. Pills are the domain of teenagers, usually, those not serious. I knew that but I thought I had enough. 20 of my wife's migraine pills, 12 paxil leftovers, 20 of my blood pressure pills, 40 Ibuprofen, and a couple of dozen tylenol. That should have done it, particularly the anti-depressants mixed with alcohol. That should have done it 4 times over. I even took some gravol so I'd keep it all down. Then I went to bed, and slept immediately and felt such deep relief.
But I woke up this morning, disoriented, a small hand shaking my shoulder, and then it crashed in, that I shouldn't be here anymore. My son woke me, he'll be 2 in December. He woke me because he wanted to show me that his 16 year old sister had given him a Mr Freeze (frozen juice in a plastic tube). He was so excited that he had it and wanted me to see his treasure.
I almost missed that. Worse I almost made that happy moment for him the worst of his life. I know now, I know what's important. Physically I've had a very bad day, I can't recall ever being this sick, but I still think its the best day I've ever lived.
I just wanted to share with my friends here.
Dave
