I thought it would work...

[Avatar]

I've been having some difficulties for some time now, as those of you who know me, know. I have a young family so I need to be sure they were taken care of. In the last week I wrote down all the financial info they'd need, what accounts we have, what debts, and the life insurance info. I'd been avoiding doing that because I knew that as long as I didn't I couldn't, in good conscience, leave those I love to financial turmoil. I take care of the family finances, you see, and if I were to suddenly die my wife probably wouldn't even know about the insurance policies (quarter mill).

And last night was the final straw. My wife sleeps early, with the baby, and at about 10, I went to the medicine cabinet. Men usually choose a direct method to end pain, a gun, most often. Pills are the domain of teenagers, usually, those not serious. I knew that but I thought I had enough. 20 of my wife's migraine pills, 12 paxil leftovers, 20 of my blood pressure pills, 40 Ibuprofen, and a couple of dozen tylenol. That should have done it, particularly the anti-depressants mixed with alcohol. That should have done it 4 times over. I even took some gravol so I'd keep it all down. Then I went to bed, and slept immediately and felt such deep relief.

But I woke up this morning, disoriented, a small hand shaking my shoulder, and then it crashed in, that I shouldn't be here anymore. My son woke me, he'll be 2 in December. He woke me because he wanted to show me that his 16 year old sister had given him a Mr Freeze (frozen juice in a plastic tube). He was so excited that he had it and wanted me to see his treasure.

I almost missed that. Worse I almost made that happy moment for him the worst of his life. I know now, I know what's important. Physically I've had a very bad day, I can't recall ever being this sick, but I still think its the best day I've ever lived.

I just wanted to share with my friends here.
Dave

 

[Patiently waiting]

Praise God! You are still with us!

 

[Galadriel]

Hey there!
Gees, Im so glad it didnt work and you are still here! Man I know things can get overwhelming sometimes, but really you would be sorely missed if you were not here anymore. Your family does need you, and there are lots who care. You really may want to seek help so that you can better handle things. Things in life can get overwhelming and you need help in dealing soemtimes, theres no shame in that. I really think Something was helping you not die, by all means with all those drugs in you, you should be dead right now. Please, hang on and get someones help in dealing with this, your not alone, and its no shame to admit you need a helping hand sometimes, even for just awhile.

 

[JesusBeliever]

I've been having some difficulties for some time now, as those of you who know me, know. I have a young family so I need to be sure they were taken care of. In the last week I wrote down all the financial info they'd need, what accounts we have, what debts, and the life insurance info. I'd been avoiding doing that because I knew that as long as I didn't I couldn't, in good conscience, leave those I love to financial turmoil. I take care of the family finances, you see, and if I were to suddenly die my wife probably wouldn't even know about the insurance policies (quarter mill).

And last night was the final straw. My wife sleeps early, with the baby, and at about 10, I went to the medicine cabinet. Men usually choose a direct method to end pain, a gun, most often. Pills are the domain of teenagers, usually, those not serious. I knew that but I thought I had enough. 20 of my wife's migraine pills, 12 paxil leftovers, 20 of my blood pressure pills, 40 Ibuprofen, and a couple of dozen tylenol. That should have done it, particularly the anti-depressants mixed with alcohol. That should have done it 4 times over. I even took some gravol so I'd keep it all down. Then I went to bed, and slept immediately and felt such deep relief.

But I woke up this morning, disoriented, a small hand shaking my shoulder, and then it crashed in, that I shouldn't be here anymore. My son woke me, he'll be 2 in December. He woke me because he wanted to show me that his 16 year old sister had given him a Mr Freeze (frozen juice in a plastic tube). He was so excited that he had it and wanted me to see his treasure.

I almost missed that. Worse I almost made that happy moment for him the worst of his life. I know now, I know what's important. Physically I've had a very bad day, I can't recall ever being this sick, but I still think its the best day I've ever lived.

I just wanted to share with my friends here.
Dave

'' and if they drink anything deadly, it shall by no means hurt them"

Or something like that

The Lords looking out for you friend

When you going to change that icon to a cross?
Hes just waiting for you to really start wanting to find him

 

[Lifesaver]

Oh, Avatar, I got so worried reading thinking you might have just done that foolishness and be waiting for the effects to happen.

God truly blessed you, for many people who mix such a quantity of medicines and alcohol are left with life-long handicaps.

You seem to have a beautiful and wonderful family, which would be torn apart were you to die.
I hope this second chance you have received, probably with the loving intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the realization that suicide is not the good way to follow, not for your family nor for you, will lead you to faith, which is what will keep you and your loved ones strong and united, despite all problems you may encounter.

My prayers go for you and your family.

 

[David Gould]

Avatar,

I am glad that you failed in your endeavour and I am glad that you see that life does contain joy, even amidst the struggle and pain. I seriously recommend professional counselling. I think it helps a lot to talk about things. I am unsure of the precise nature of your difficulties - apart from your neighbourhood and the spiritual stuff - but if there is anything I can do then I would be happy to do it (mainly moneywise, I guess.)

PastorFreud is a counsellor. He might be able to suggest some courses of action for you.

 

[brightlights]

Praise God indeed that you are still with us. I strongly believe that this is God saying that your life definately is not over. He's not going to let you go that easily. Av, I'm so sorry man...I'm so sorry that you have gone and are going through such rough times. God will never give up on you.

Avatar I will continue to pray for you and I love you.

 

[Master Chuck]

Jesus Dave, you are in really really bad shape.

This is deadly serious man - Go and get a line of credit, and move town. Your life needs to change before you make everyone elses life change.

Every negative action requires a positive reaction.

There are things you can do to make things come good, you just have to do it because there is no-one else who will do it for you.

I've spoken at length with my friends and they all agree - GET OUT OF TOWN!!

 

[Satya]

Avatar--

I'm so happy you're alright! We have such a short time to exist here and enjoy the lives we have, and I'm so happy you've seen that there's so much more for you to experience yet!

Changing your environment can help, so the advice for moving is good. Might I suggest maybe consulting a professional psychologist? One who specializes in depression and depressive disorders?

I wish you the very best, and I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Hang in there!

 

[funyun]

Avatar, I don't know you well, and I don't know the exact nature of all the problems in your life. But I'm really glad things didn't turn out the way you thought you wanted them to, and instead the way you came to realize you did want them to.

 

[Evee]

Hey there!
Gees, Im so glad it didnt work and you are still here! Man I know things can get overwhelming sometimes, but really you would be sorely missed if you were not here anymore. Your family does need you, and there are lots who care. You really may want to seek help so that you can better handle things. Things in life can get overwhelming and you need help in dealing soemtimes, theres no shame in that. I really think Something was helping you not die, by all means with all those drugs in you, you should be dead right now. Please, hang on and get someones help in dealing with this, your not alone, and its no shame to admit you need a helping hand sometimes, even for just awhile.

Yes absolutely Avatar what Galadriel said!
If I take a couple clonipins I don't hardly wake up for two days.
I walk around as a zombie.
it would be misfortune to get brain damage and have to spend the rest of your life brain dead.
Be very careful that is something to consider.

 

[funyun]

Yeah, Avatar, if I were you, I would consult a physician as well as a psychiatrist just to be safe.

 

[Western Deity]

I wouldn't even bother listening to anybody else from the net- most of the people will give you advice that is either wrong, useless, or contradictory. See a professional, hombre .

 

[Evee]

God does not intervene in every aspect of our life so I agree get counseling. There is no shame in admiting you need help.

 

[JesusBeliever]

I wouldn't even bother listening to anybody else from the net- most of the people will give you advice that is either wrong, useless, or contradictory

hmmm. should I ?
Not here

 

[Evee]

hmmm. should I ?
Not here

No! No!

 

[Wisdom's Child]

Avitar, what has happened has given you a fresh start, a new beginning.
As for the issues that had brought you to that point, I know that they are still there lurking in the background. I know, because I have been there myself, and I now work as a Community Councelor at a Behavioral Rehabilitation Center for Teens. I see it every day.

Seek out someone to talk to. Don't be concerned with embarassment or pride issues, many programs are anonomous and they do work. We are not Islands, we do require the support of those around us. "Forsake Not the gathering together in fellowship".

If you need me brother I am here for you....PM me if you feel so inclined.

 

[Avatar]

I'm sorry, I got interrupted as I was reading your responses, after this post I'll go back and read them. The neigbors just went wild again and I had to log off to phone the police. They were banging on the walls and screaming obscenities (drunk again) I heard them going outside and I got a baseball bat and waited until they came into my porch. The police arrived first, but I swear I've had enough of turning the other cheek. I'm a physically formidable person who normally wouldn't hurt a fly. But this is about it.

One went to jail, the other is still there. If anything else happens tonight... People can only be pushed so far.

 

[Robby]

You need to move away from that scene, if you can.

 

[ToddNotTodd]

I'm sorry, I got interrupted as I was reading your responses, after this post I'll go back and read them. The neigbors just went wild again and I had to log off to phone the police. They were banging on the walls and screaming obscenities (drunk again) I heard them going outside and I got a baseball bat and waited until they came into my porch. The police arrived first, but I swear I've had enough of turning the other cheek. I'm a physically formidable person who normally wouldn't hurt a fly. But this is about it.

One went to jail, the other is still there. If anything else happens tonight... People can only be pushed so far.

Think of it this way, it sounds like you have plenty of material for a book. Turn this into something positive.

And I agree with everyone's advice to get the hell out of there.