I think i need to leave, dont know what to do :confused:

[bogey]

deleted

 

[Gwenyfur]

St Paul, nor Christ Himself ever intended for the wife to be abused by her husband.
*NEVER*

Leave.
Leave now.

Once struck...now matter how the promises flow, you will be struck again.

There's no justification for abuse.
There's no justification for lies.

A: Let’s start with, “The two shall become one flesh,” in Genesis 2:24, quoted by Christ and Saint Paul. Thus, wife-abuse is self-abuse. I’ll touch more on Ephesians 5 in a moment. Before that, keep in mind that any violence or hateful thought toward another is a sin (as 1 John 3:15 says, “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer&#8221, so threats or violence against one’s wife violate the commandment against killing.

Now we can look a bit more at the latter part of Ephesians 5. Verse 21 addresses general Christian behavior, urging all to be “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Applying this to marriage, neither spouse is to take advantage of nor mistreat the other. While the husband is made “head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church,” this headship is intended to look after the body and do what is best for the bride.

Does God Trap Women in Marriages to Abusive Men?

Review of Barbara Roberts' book
Not Under Bondage: Biblical Divorce for Abuse, Adultery & Desertion

After 35 years of teaching on marriage, training at two women's shelters, and looking back at what happened to many of my students, I highly recommend Not Under Bondage. Barbara's insights and teaching is badly needed by Christians who often neglect God's righteous solution of disciplinary divorce for certain problems that fail to respond to implimenting God's word into the relationship.
If more people exercised God's way of escape by divorcing for impenitent sin in their homes, I believe Christians would exert tremendous peer pressure on wayward spouses as they acknowledge that God does not tolerate ungodly conduct among family members. Sin thrives on secrecy and a mate falsely thinking, It's my fault, instead of demanding accountability.
As Christians, we often focus so strongly on saving the marriage that we turn a blind eye to the other person's free will in choosing to be abusive rather than loving. Love is a choice as is demonstrated by the commands in the Bible to love others. We don't earn another person's love. And often the justifications for refusing to love are utterly ridiculous and selfish. Sometimes God's answer to marriage problems is divorce, and when we resist that answer, we are flirting with harm for our spouses, children, and ourselves. Counselors at women's shelters report that unchecked abuse always gets worse. Sometimes it gets worse so slowly, that the violated mate does not realize what is happening until the sin is so entrenched in the marriage that reconciliation is impossible. Earlier punitive divorce may well have been the catalyst to turn a sinner from his destructive behavior toward his mate and children, and even himself.

I hope this helps you...

 

[BigDaddy4]

Leave for your safety and go seek counseling. Let him know you are going to seek counseling, but don't tell him where you are staying. Be strong in the Lord and do not fear, for God is with you!!

 

[Hosannainthehighest]

abuse of any sort damages your sanity, whether you realise it or not.

 

[FallenPaladin]

Love your husband the way Jesus loves you. No more, no less.

 

[Conservativation]

Its NOT TRUE that once struck you will be struck again...as a rule

IF struck, leave THEN....stay gone awhile, safety, etc. But do not fall for the lie that once struck you WILL be struck again....

 

[Created2Write]

I agree with Cons.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I'd like to agree with Cons. I really would. The problem is that reality bit me pretty hard in that department.

I married the same woman twice, with a nearly twenty year divorced time in between marriages. The first time I had to leave because she was physically abusive amongst other things. Years later, she seemed to have changed so we decided to try it again. It worked for maybe a year, maybe a year and a half, but then the same old same old reared its ugly head once again. Physical and verbal abuse, being lied to and lied about, being cheated on--- you name it.

Now, it may be that my experience isn't an absolute in all cases, but--- unless your husband makes a serious commitment to deal with the issues that give rise to violence I wouldn't be in favor of letting him hit you again.

I keep saying to look up "Domestic Abuse" in the search engines. Read up on it and learn a little something, like how to handle it and what your options are.

 

[bogey]

Love your husband the way Jesus loves you. No more, no less.

Could you explain this?

 

[Gwenyfur]

Love your husband the way Jesus loves you. No more, no less.

And Jesus expect a woman to put up wtih physical, mental, and emotional abuse?

Did you even read the OP adn the position this woman's in or are you just being a typical neaderthal male that thinks no other male could possibly be wrong, that women are chattal and deserve whatever is handed them?

 

[Gwenyfur]

Its NOT TRUE that once struck you will be struck again...as a rule

IF struck, leave THEN....stay gone awhile, safety, etc. But do not fall for the lie that once struck you WILL be struck again....

I've worked with domestic violence victims since 1997...in those 13 years I've never seen physical abuse stop once it's started...

never ... once .... in 13 years...

 

[bogey]

I've worked with domestic violence victims since 1997...in those 13 years I've never seen physical abuse stop once it's started...

never ... once .... in 13 years...

This maybe true but lets not forget we believe in Jesus & throught him all things are possible. God is able to transform hearts.

I have left to stay with my parents but i am not giving up until God tells me to.
We will be going to councilling & take it from there.
I wont be going home until i see the transformation

I'm just gonna keep and asking for from God.

I have to trust, he has until Christmas so please keep

 

[Gwenyfur]

I wish you luck and healing if that's what your faith leads you to do...
But I urge you to have a safety plan in place just in case....
Don't consider it a lack of faith...but smart planning.

I've seen too many battered, bruised, broken, and even murdered women...by the very men commanded to protect them and love them as their own flesh to not encourage a backup plan.

Be well, travel safely.

 

[bogey]

I wish you luck and healing if that's what your faith leads you to do...
But I urge you to have a safety plan in place just in case....
Don't consider it a lack of faith...but smart planning.

I've seen too many battered, bruised, broken, and even murdered women...by the very men commanded to protect them and love them as their own flesh to not encourage a backup plan.

Be well, travel safely.

Yes thanks, like i said he's got until christmas to show he wants to change if not thats the end. I'm in two minds, l'd love for the transformation to restore my marriage but i am also @ the point now where i would like a fresh chapter

 

[Hosannainthehighest]

This maybe true but lets not forget we believe in Jesus & throught him all things are possible. God is able to transform hearts.

I have left to stay with my parents but i am not giving up until God tells me to.
We will be going to councilling & take it from there.
I wont be going home until i see the transformation

I'm just gonna keep and asking for from God.

I have to trust, he has until Christmas so please keep

you are wise to have left, and to wait to know change. God can only transform the heart that opens to him. This may not be your husbands.. it may be, but that is up to him. In the meantime, let God transform YOUR heart, because that is the only heart that you have access to.