I think i did something bad

Im 15 i think I did something very bad which Two years ago let’s go back in time woo hoo are used to get really really really really really really really bad blasphemous thought they weren’t fine but I can’t I got used to them inspected them so I guess I got used one they they were intrusive but used to now two months ago I had the thoughts I had faith planning to get baptized soon but March 9 pretty sure woke up at faith clicked on a video and got triggered was it fun the reason I think I got used to the thoughts because every time they went away I always found a way to get them back of reassurance or something I don’t know but why I felt my faith when I have a thought but now I don’t anymore because March 9 I got triggered and got doubt I feel like I don’t believe in hell I feel like I don’t believe in anything it sucks I feel like I don’t care and sometimes I believe I don’t and it messes with me I just want it back my faith I don’t want to thoughts but I want my faith back so I think I gave the thoughts value I have been on on here before I’m just scared my faith won’t come back because I feel like I don’t believe and I have some doubt so that just worries me so do you have any advice suggestions because I think I value them which sucks not clinically diagnosed but I don’t know do you have any suggestions to get my faith back because all I feel like sometimes I don’t care and that kind of bothers me because I was like a a great great great great great great Christian and I feel like sometimes I don’t even believe in that bothers me most of the time I feel like that and only twice I’ve been able to feel my belief again in through two months for maybe about a day to a few hours but if you want more information i have one more the thread and can someone
Pls talk to me in cps im sure that it’s unbelief and I don’t want it to be and help

com7fy8 said:

But

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its not cap its child prover services

I have a therapist but has not diagnosed

I’m worried about something I believe got my belief is slipping slowly very slowly and very fast I was thinking of looking at testimonies and proof of Jesus maybe that would help but I could be two options I look at the proof I have a panic attack and I thought to get worse or I get my faith and believe how it used to be but I don’t know what to do I don’t want to give up I’m not going to it’s that I set an a little room all day and I stare at like the ceiling or on my phone looking for talking so I don’t know what to do in the situation should I look at proven testimonies or should I just wait I’m not at my parents right now foster care so should I wait until I go back or should I do it now or not do it at all