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I think birth control is a sin but my husband doesnt want children [moved]

Discussion in 'Quiverfull' started by 123flower, Feb 27, 2020.

  1. 123flower

    123flower Newbie

    135
    +13
    Pentecostal
    Married
    I am 35 and married for 2,5 years. My husband uses a condom as birth control, but I realise now that birth control is a sin. I want to obey God, but the thing is I’m scared to be pregnant. And my husband doesn’t even want to have children, so even if I conquer my fear he would never agree with me. What am I supposed to do?
     
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  2. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,668
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    You are not the one in control in this issue. God is not going to hold you responsible for your husband's ways. I'm not saying that I agree that birth control is a sin. It is for you because of your conscience. You are not at fault in this instance.
     
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  3. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +3,212
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    Pray that God will give him the same vision that He gave you. (You cannot surrender this on your husband's behalf.)

    [More after the move...]
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
  4. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

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    @123flower , your marital status says that you are single.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2020
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  5. summerville

    summerville Well-Known Member

    +406
    United States
    Anglican
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    Many Christians think it is a sin to impede access to birth control.
     
  6. createdtoworship

    createdtoworship In the grip of grace

    +1,556
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    Have a heart to heart. A marriage is a compromise. And if we don't compromise then we don't have a successful marriage. I would tell him that not having children would leave you empty inside and feel as if a major part of life would remain empty. Tell him it's a big part of your worth as a fertile person and that you desire it. I think you can come up with even more descriptive words. But tell him how unhappy you are not to have children. Time is ticking. 35 is really the oldest you want to have children. In another few years you may run out of time. But the whole concept of it being a sin to use a condom is a weak standpoint in scripture. I know many believe that, but it's hard to prove from scripture, that every time we have sex it's ONLY to have children, and not for pleasure as well.
     
  7. 123flower

    123flower Newbie

    135
    +13
    Pentecostal
    Married
    I haven’t changed it yet and I just tried but I don’t know how. But I am married though.
     
  8. tampasteve

    tampasteve Steadfast Lutheran Staff Member Supervisor Supporter

    +2,817
    United States
    Lutheran
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    MOD HAT ON

    Please note the SOP for the Christian Advice Forum:
    "Topics of sex or premarital sex are off topic and may not be discussed or promoted in the Christian Advice forum."

    This thread has been moved to a more appropriate forum.

    MOD HAT OFF
     
  9. Mountainmanbob

    Mountainmanbob Goat Whisperer Supporter

    +9,493
    United States
    Calvinist
    Married
    US-Republican
    As we know these matters should be discussed and agreed to on both sides long before marriage takes place.

    My wife never could have children. I can see where this has left a hole in her heart. When middle aged and older women get together, she says that all they mostly talk about are their children and grandchildren. This leaves her out of the conversation and feeling lonely.

    I know that this is very tuff on her.
    A burden that she carries.

    Do you two have a Pastor for counseling?

    M-Bob
     
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  10. chevyontheriver

    chevyontheriver Well-Known Member Supporter

    +7,613
    United States
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    I agree with you that contraception is sinful. And that married people should expect children and even want children under normal circumstances.

    The Catholic position on birth control is something you could look at. In particular a brilliant little essay by Janet Smith called 'Contraception: Why Not?'
    Contraception: Why Not?
    You can conquer your fear. And honestly it is a huge thing so a bit of fear is normal. You can't force your husband to want to have a baby though. Best you can do is discuss it with him. Let him know the depth of your desire. And then maybe if that fails pray that the condom fails as well. They do fail a lot.
     
  11. Dave G.

    Dave G. Well-Known Member

    +3,398
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    Go to your profile page and open a ticket to the staff, they can change it for you.
     
  12. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +3,212
    United States
    Charismatic
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    My wife and I came to Quiverfull at the same time. Sometimes she didn't want to. At those times, I would accommodated her wishes with condoms. Most other types of contraception are abortifacient (even if not intentionally so). That is where I drew the line. No one in this sub-forum would recommend a vasectomy, but that is certainly your husband's prerogative.
     
  13. 123flower

    123flower Newbie

    135
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    Pentecostal
    Married
    Actually, I do want children. But I didn’t want it for a long time that’s why my husband also don’t want it.
     
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  14. Sabertooth

    Sabertooth Repartee Animal: Quipping the Saints! Supporter

    +3,212
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    That is God changing your heart. He can change your husband's heart, too. Keep praying.
     
  15. 123flower

    123flower Newbie

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    Pentecostal
    Married
    Because of what Onan did in the Old Testament.
     
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  16. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

    +3,199
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    A very interesting story indeed, even when taken literally. It seems to me that the sin, was the disobedience. He was commanded to give his brother a child and he devised a plan to not do so.
    I dont see the results being the same if he wasnt commanded to do anything, or he just didnt want children himself. However, if you believe you are in sin, by preventing yourself from having children....then you are right and will be in sin.

    I would say, however, that to make the story about contraception, would be to downplay the importance of being obedient to God.
     
  17. summerville

    summerville Well-Known Member

    +406
    United States
    Anglican
    Single
    Onan's "crime" was his reluctance to follow Leverite marriage law... He was killed because he didn't want to have children with his brother's widow. He was killed for disobedience.
     
  18. Mollie1

    Mollie1 John 3:16 Staff Member Purple Team - Moderator Supporter

    +2,450
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Single
    Mod Hat On

    Some Posts and Responses
    have been Removed
    in
    Thread Clean
    Re: Quiverfull
    Allowing God to decide family size and natural birth control.

    Mod Hat Off
     
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