I suppose this is the place to post this

[MallowPop]

I'm going to be flat out. I recently converted (obviously) from Luciferianism. I was a disciple to Lucifer for nearly two years, was host to a demon in that time, and had times when I was physically abused by one of the demons I had placed myself under servitude to. But I was pulled in by the promises they made to me. I felt as if I could become my own god if I mastered whatever it was they taught me. All the while I was growing darker and darker mentally. It scared me to be honest, but I was drunk on the power I thought I had.

I formally broke all bonds I made with Lucifer last night, along with the other demons I had been allowing to control my life. I asked God to enter my heart and transform me in a way He sees fit. To become the person I was meant to be rather than the creature marred by the devil's insanity.

My question is, would God want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done? I know scripture says He will accept you if you accept Jesus as your Savior, but does that go for the extent to which I went away from Him? I feel like He wouldn't want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done against his will, pulling other people down into it with me. I can't forgive myself.

 

[ConfuseddotCom]

Of course He forgives and wants you.

 

[1watchman]

Friend, God always wants His people to come to Him, repent, and receive His "great salvation" in His beloved Son (that's not just in religion). The Lord Jesus is our only salvation and eternal hope (see John 3:36 and 1 Jn. 5:10-12). Pray much to know God's way and read His Word daily ---beginning with such as John 1; John 3; John 14. We all need a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. Then one can have peace.

 

[Bobinator]

Jesus didn't come to save the righteous. He came to save sinners.

I congratulate you on your decision, but I'm afraid it'll cost you more than a decision to change paths. The devil won't give up that easily, especially if you derived some benefit and allowed demons to enter you for those purposes.

I highly recommend attending a fellowship that is knowledgeable in the deliverance ministry, and start to clean house. Things won't be easy for you, but that's the only path you have at this point.

Don't give up.

 

[Sketcher]

My question is, would God want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done? I know scripture says He will accept you if you accept Jesus as your Savior, but does that go for the extent to which I went away from Him? I feel like He wouldn't want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done against his will, pulling other people down into it with me. I can't forgive myself.

"All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." - John 6:37

No exceptions. There were sorcerers, demon-possessed people, even people who had killed Christians who came to God and were completely forgiven. Not one, but two friends of mine from college had been involved in Satanism before coming to Christ. And they were changed so extensively that I almost didn't believe where they had come from.

 

[Tigger45]

I would think the further away we were from God when He calls us the happier He is when we finally make it home.

 

[paul1149]

What wonderful news!

Your sin, whatever it may be, cannot approach the power of Christ's blood, shed for you. The perfect man died in order to pay your debt. He did it willingly, voluntarily out of pure love for you. He knows who He meant you to be, and He knows the effects inherited sin and this fallen world have had on your decisions.

There is not one instance of the Lord turning away someone who was sincere, no matter what they had done. In every single case He welcomed the lost sheep back into the fold. As in the parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15), the Father saw you coming while you were still a long way off. He rejoices to have you back, no matter what you did in that distant land.

Enjoy your new life in Jesus. There is no condemnation now (Rom 8.1-2). When our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things (1Jn 3.20). Grace is God's unmerited favor.

 

[MallowPop]

Thanks for the responses guys. I guess I just feel like I'm not worthy of even praying to him now after I walked away from him so eagerly all those years back. I've been teetering on the edge of walking away from all of this since June but couldn't find the strength to admit it to myself until I met my current boyfriend and he shared his testimony with me and it made me realize just how far I'd removed myself from the person I was supposed to be. I used to breathe creativity and art and now I can barely pen a coherent sentence when it comes to the stories in my head. It's like I was cut off for the longest.

I've been reading the Bible every day for the last two weeks, reading up on Christianity and different denominations for even longer. I feel different in a good way.

 

[paul1149]

Here's something to think about. Jesus doesn't lay down the law on those that are broken. "A bruised reed He shall not break". Instead He invites us to rest in Him:

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves.
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Mt 11.27-30​

Because of the Cross completely uprooting the power of the devil and his rebellion, all our sin no longer works against us, because it no longer is imputed to us. It instead becomes a measure of how much we are forgiven and loved. Jesus wants us to leave the former things behind and grow in the reality of who we now are in Him.

Then one of the Pharisees invited Him to eat with him. He entered the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table.
And a woman in the town who was a sinner found out that Jesus was reclining at the table in the Pharisee’s house. She brought an alabaster jar of fragrant oil
and stood behind Him at His feet, weeping, and began to wash His feet with her tears. She wiped His feet with the hair of her head, kissing them and anointing them with the fragrant oil.
When the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, “This man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what kind of woman this is who is touching Him — she’s a sinner! ”

Jesus replied to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” “Teacher,” he said, “say it.”
“A creditor had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii, and the other 50.
Since they could not pay it back, he graciously forgave them both. So, which of them will love him more? ”
Simon answered, “I suppose the one he forgave more.” “You have judged correctly,” He told him.
Turning to the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she, with her tears, has washed My feet and wiped them with her hair.
You gave Me no kiss, but she hasn’t stopped kissing My feet since I came in.
You didn’t anoint My head with olive oil, but she has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.
Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that’s why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
Those who were at the table with Him began to say among themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins? ”
And He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.” -Luke 7:36-50​

 

[turned around]

Hi pop,
Just having faith in the blood of God's Son the Father accepts you as his own. Jesus comes into your heart to give you his life. Because of this trust develops, and intimacy with Abba. By simple faith you have peace with God. You can be your self, expressing your fears and inadequacies. All the while the Spirit reveals your completeness in Christ. Please don't get into religion, satanism is religious (performance based). You're a new creation and Jesus wants to live his life through you.

The Spirit of Christ in you will lead you through the bible. Just enjoy Jesus and thank him for what he has done for you. As you do this his life through you becomes more apparent. Then as you read the word you will understand the grace of God, because you have been experiencing it. The word of Christ will dwell richly in you're heart giving you wisdom. There are a lot of well meaning believers, but if people start giving you a list of do's and do'nts run to Jesus. Enough out of me.


May Christ's sweet aroma be yours, and his abundant grace.

 

[Soul2Soul]

I'm going to be flat out. I recently converted (obviously) from Luciferianism. I was a disciple to Lucifer for nearly two years, was host to a demon in that time, and had times when I was physically abused by one of the demons I had placed myself under servitude to. But I was pulled in by the promises they made to me. I felt as if I could become my own god if I mastered whatever it was they taught me. All the while I was growing darker and darker mentally. It scared me to be honest, but I was drunk on the power I thought I had.

I formally broke all bonds I made with Lucifer last night, along with the other demons I had been allowing to control my life. I asked God to enter my heart and transform me in a way He sees fit. To become the person I was meant to be rather than the creature marred by the devil's insanity.

My question is, would God want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done? I know scripture says He will accept you if you accept Jesus as your Savior, but does that go for the extent to which I went away from Him? I feel like He wouldn't want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done against his will, pulling other people down into it with me. I can't forgive myself.

Hello Ana,

There was a time in my life when I had some extremely dangerous yet appealing thoughts about satanism - it was as if my inner being was being transformed by these thoughts and some of my emotions became extremely heightened. I was being allured by some strange but powerful sense of gratification and it excited me ... the more deeply I thought about it the more my fear intensified which in a peculiar way also excited me. Anyway I didn't end up getting involved. I also used to curse, swear and blaspheme God ... my mind was in a very dark place back then ... I was in the midst of a period of deep depression. What I've come to learn is that God knows what people have been through in their lives, and that can include anything. What I understand God is looking for from people (in a small sentence) is a repentance of their sins and turning to Him so that they are cleansed of their sins. Of course God will accept you - not for who/what you were but for who/what you are now thanks to the blood of Jesus Christ. Welcome to Christianity ....

 

[chilehed]

My question is, would God want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done?

A virgin groom burns for his bride with infinitely less fervor and devotion than the way God burns for you.

 

[Strachan]

Anna,

We and the angels in Heaven rejoice. I also want to encourage you, as I know that quite often what follows shortly after something such as what you have been through, is being assailed by doubts, therefore be strengthened in The Lord Jesus Christ. Do not doubt, but believe the truth as set out in God's Word.

Lastly, as you seem to have been quite involved in the other religion, it is very possible that you may need further deliverance, even if you have renounced all unholy vows. Please understand I am not saying you have demons, as I don't know every detail of your particular situation. I rejoice that you have turned back to Jesus, this is the greatest miracle of all. Now walk in freedom through our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.

Be blessed!!

 

[seashale76]

My question is, would God want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done? I know scripture says He will accept you if you accept Jesus as your Savior, but does that go for the extent to which I went away from Him? I feel like He wouldn't want anything to do with me after all of the things I've done against his will, pulling other people down into it with me. I can't forgive myself.

God loves you. At some point, we're all like the prodigal son.

I always share this with people (even when it isn't Pascha/Easter). This sermon by St. John Chrysostom hits the idea home that Christ will always take you, no matter what you've done or how late you are to the game.

If any man be devout and loveth God,
Let him enjoy this fair and radiant triumphal feast!
If any man be a wise servant,
Let him rejoicing enter into the joy of his Lord.

If any have laboured long in fasting,
Let him how receive his recompense.
If any have wrought from the first hour,
Let him today receive his just reward.
If any have come at the third hour,
Let him with thankfulness keep the feast.
If any have arrived at the sixth hour,
Let him have no misgivings;
Because he shall in nowise be deprived therefore.
If any have delayed until the ninth hour,
Let him draw near, fearing nothing.
And if any have tarried even until the eleventh hour,
Let him, also, be not alarmed at his tardiness.

For the Lord, who is jealous of his honour,
Will accept the last even as the first.
He giveth rest unto him who cometh at the eleventh hour,
Even as unto him who hath wrought from the first hour.
And He showeth mercy upon the last,
And careth for the first;
And to the one He giveth,
And upon the other He bestoweth gifts.
And He both accepteth the deeds,
And welcometh the intention,
And honoureth the acts and praises the offering.

Wherefore, enter ye all into the joy of your Lord;
Receive your reward,
Both the first, and likewise the second.
You rich and poor together, hold high festival!
You sober and you heedless, honour the day!
Rejoice today, both you who have fasted
And you who have disregarded the fast.
The table is full-laden; feast ye all sumptuously.
The calf is fatted; let no one go hungry away.
Enjoy ye all the feast of faith:
Receive ye all the riches of loving-kindness.

Let no one bewail his poverty,
For the universal Kingdom has been revealed.
Let no one weep for his iniquities,
For pardon has shown forth from the grave.
Let no one fear death,
For the Saviour’s death has set us free.
He that was held prisoner of it has annihilated it.

By descending into Hell, He made Hell captive.
He embittered it when it tasted of His flesh.
And Isaiah, foretelling this, did cry:
Hell, said he, was embittered
When it encountered Thee in the lower regions.

It was embittered, for it was abolished.
It was embittered, for it was mocked.
It was embittered, for it was slain.
It was embittered, for it was overthrown.
It was embittered, for it was fettered in chains.
It took a body, and met God face to face.
It took earth, and encountered Heaven.
It took that which was seen, and fell upon the unseen.

O Death, where is thy sting?
O Hell, where is thy victory?

Christ is risen, and thou art overthrown!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life reigns!
Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in the grave.
For Christ, being risen from the dead,
Is become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep.

To Him be glory and dominion
Unto ages of ages.

Amen.

Also, I've shared the advice I'm about to give you once today already. First of all, believers in Christ should endeavor to be Baptized. This is for forgiveness of sins and becoming part of the body of Christ. At one's Baptism they also receive Chrismation- which is the seal of the gift of the Holy Spirit. Others here may disagree but you can't go it alone. You need Christ's Holy Church. It is the hospital for sinners. You need the holy mysteries (sacraments)- especially the Eucharist. It is the body and blood of Christ, the medicine for what ails you, the fountain of immortality.

You need to find a church to start attending, you need to be instructed in the faith, and you need to get baptized.

OCA - The Orthodox Faith
Orthodoxy in America - Contact

Prayer resources I've found helpful:
P r a y e r
Let us
Abbreviated Prayerbook

 

[parsley]

Do you remember the story of Jesus being tempted in the wilderness 40 days? (Luke 4). Think about it -- even Jesus had a long conversation with Satan, and was able to resist by quoting scriptures. We are tempted, and He was tempted.

Even though you voluntarily gave in, you can think of your time as another long experience where you ended up resisting and walking away. That's great! Most people don't have the internal fortitude for that. And that's why God backs us up, showing us His Word is what halts the action -- not our own strength.

You admitted weakness, admitted regret... now lean on God.

http://www.swordofthespirit.net/bulwark/feb08p5.htm