I "Slept" With My Best Guy Friend... Verses?

[FearNot7]

Okay, so all my life I've been taught not to sleep or have sex with the opposite sex before marriage. I always thought it was simple to obey and made sense. Read the bold part for the whole point of this.

One week ago today, I hung out with my guy best friend. Before I agreed to hang out with him that day, he said he could both pick me up AND drive me home. I was okay with it, and we were gonna be hanging out with all our other Christian friends (really good Christians) too. He said if it really came to it, I could just sleep at his place; he would sleep on the sofa, I could have his bed (he lives with his family still, so it would be weird if I slept on the sofa). I wasn't completely okay with it, but I really didn't think it would come down to that anyway.
Well, to make a VERY long story short, he ended up being too tired to drive me home that night (it was about 2:30am), so I was pretty much stuck spending the night at his house. We put on that kid movie "Bolt" (lights were on), and we both fell asleep on the sofa in his room. I only had an hour and a half of sleep that whole day, so I was extremely tired. When the movie was over, he was saying something about being too tired and just wanting to "crash into bed", so he asked if it was okay if we just got our own side of the bed and slept there for the night. I was barely awake and too tired to care, so I said okay.

I slept in the same bed as my best guy friend.

We didn't do anything though. And because I felt so guilty, I ended up waking up about every five minutes the whole night, staying awake for a little while each time. I felt bad for kicking him out of his own bed and making him sleep on the sofa in the living room (his sofa in his room makes into a bed), so I just tried to stay awake while lying in bed, making him think I was okay with it.

He was saying it was okay because "we didn't do anything", but I've been taught to never sleep with a guy you're not married to; even if you don't "do anything".

Are there any Bible verses that would prove that it IS wrong? I'm trying to convince myself AND him that it was wrong. I just can't find any verses.

Any help or advice? I know it was a stupid mistake for me to put myself in that kind of situation, especially since I knew he's still a brand new "Christian". I won't let it happen again though.

Any verses to help me with?

Thanks for reading...

 

[drich0150]

If these are indeed the events of that night, as far as your religious christian beliefs are concerned, I believed you have sinned in that "Thou shalt have no appearance of evil" or whatever your version of church uses, so be careful who you tell...

Biblically/scripturally though, you in the clear.

(Meaning Your peers or the people at your church may make a big deal of this, even though you did not sin..)

So, FEARNOT!

 

[Lightkeeper55]

Although some may think that this "appears" to be evil, and we are warned to refrain from such situations, no real sin was committed. If this knowledge is just between the two of you (and perhaps his parents), nobody else needs to know about it. He also needs to be aware of the implications if he talks about it too, as does his parents (or anyone else that may know).

If you feel you need to ask God for forgiveness then there is no harm to ask. It will be given freely for "we stand in grace" Romans 5:2.

Bottom line...don't kick yourself senseless over this. If we all did, we'd all be knocked senseless long ago.

 

[NathanHocking]

Philippians 1:27 Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.

It not only matters what you did or did not do, what you are seen to be doing is important.

He said if it really came to it, I could just sleep at his place;

This should never have been an option, he said he would drive, at 10 or 12 he should have know it was getting pretty late and should have driven you home.
Long Story short I'm sure cabs operate 24/7, and It should not have gotten to a point where your friend was too tired to drive.

 

[Caoimhe]

I personally don't see the act as being wrong since you and your male friend did not commit any sinful acts or intended to sin. However, if your conscience bothers you you could be struggling with what that action potentially means, which isn't a bad thing to do. As Christians, we are to question and observe what we say or do.

Hmm, the way I see it, it is like the scenario I am about to describe to you. You know, I once slept in the same bed with my female cousin. Some people may perceive this act to be wrong because they think the act suggests an incestuous and a homosexual relationship. However, my female cousin and I (and of course God too) know that there was no intent to sin, and thus my act of sleeping with her in the same bed meant nothing. It's not a sin.

I interpret your scenario in the same way. Why burden yourself with guilt when there was no sin?

 

[Elijah2]

My dear sister, you don't need Scriptures to prove your right or wrong. You feel guilt and shame for what you did. So just confess it and repent it, AND DON"T DO IT AGAIN. Oh, by the way, ask our Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you for you poor choice and decision. Thou shalt not sleep overnight in an man's residence!

Commonsense will always suffice if His Word is silent, and do you think what you did was commonsense?

Blessings!

 

[GlennK]

I slept in the same bed as my best guy friend.

ah shiznit, that aint no biggie.

that's cute.

 

[jsimms615]

I don't see what the big deal is. Maybe next time you should go home a little earlier.

 

[fffaux]

well as long as you didnt actually do anything, and you didnt feel lust or anything for him as far as i can see youre fine. although, i woudent advise doing it again, heh.

 

[faithful follower]

If these are indeed the events of that night, as far as your religious christian beliefs are concerned, I believed you have sinned in that "Thou shalt have no appearance of evil" or whatever your version of church uses, so be careful who you tell...

Biblically/scripturally though, you in the clear.

(Meaning Your peers or the people at your church may make a big deal of this, even though you did not sin..)

So, FEARNOT!

Amen!

 

[Johnnz]

Just put it down to a learning experience rather than trying to find a basis for feeling guilty.

John
NZ

 

[BigNorsk]

You are probably getting confused by people talking about sleeping with someone being wrong but they don't mean sleeping, they use it to mean have sex with.

As far as sleeping, no, it's not a sin. Maybe the two of you could be more careful and not leave yourself open to people thinking you aren't sleeping but rather having sex with each other.

I would note that Ruth slept with her redeemer before he redeemed her. She didn't have sex with him though.

Marv

 

[andross77]

My dear sister, you don't need Scriptures to prove your right or wrong. You feel guilt and shame for what you did. So just confess it and repent it, AND DON"T DO IT AGAIN. Oh, by the way, ask our Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you for you poor choice and decision. Thou shalt not sleep overnight in an man's residence!

Commonsense will always suffice if His Word is silent, and do you think what you did was commonsense?

Blessings!

best advice in this thread. the Holy Spirit is convicting this girl but she wants to get a "second opinion" and then others are telling her soothing words that she did nothing wrong.

There are obviously different consequences of sin and if she would have had sex with the guy there would have been much more involved emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc. But there is a verse about avoiding the "appearance of evil" and you can't just throw it out b/c it's a "soft" verse.

But also, don't beat yourself up over it. Ask God to forgive you and move on. Tell your "best guy friend" he is an idiot and it wasn't proper and you aren't going to hang out with him anymore if you don't have your own transportation. problem solved.

 

[antioch21]

I'm not so sure that the "appearance of evil" as mentioned in Ephesians 5:3 would apply here. However, I believe that it is sinful for unmarried people to sleep together in the literal sense, even if they don't "do anything." Paul tells us in Romans 14:13-23 that we are not to cause fellow Christians to stumble, and I think that unmarried people sleeping in the same bed can easily cause at least one of them to lust. That would be sinful on the part of both the person lusting and the person who might very well be inadverdently causing the lust by sleeping with them. Obviously, it's possible for two people to sleep together without lusting, but it's also possible to fire a gun at someone without hitting them; that doesn't mean it's a good idea to take a shot though.

So I believe that the Holy Spirit rightly convicted you of sin, but as a Christian, God has forgiven you of it, so you don't need to feel any kind of guilt or shame over it. Just move on, and make sure it doesn't happen again.

 

[fffaux]

But also, don't beat yourself up over it. Ask God to forgive you and move on. Tell your "best guy friend" he is an idiot and it wasn't proper and you aren't going to hang out with him anymore if you don't have your own transportation. problem solved.

i woudent say she soudent hangout with him unless hanging around him makes her feel uncomfortable.

 

[Lightkeeper55]

Tell your "best guy friend" he is an idiot

You don't throw away friends and call them idiots just because of mistakes. If we did, we'd be alone forever. Silly advice! What kind of witness to him would that be?

"Appearence of evil"? Paul said that we sin daily! He also said he is saved daily! Mistakes were made, however unintentional. Judging someone is also a sin; so how many of you have already committed that one? Several by the way I've read through several threads here. The lady is seeking advise not preaching from "holier than thou" individuals.

Simple answer. (I've said it before) If you feel you need to ask, do it. Forgiveness is plentiful. I personally feel you did nothing wrong. You didn't "sleep" with him sexually, you simply found rest on the same bed. No big deal! Don't sweat the small stuff. Leave that to self righteous people.

 

[Sketcher]

Relax, you didn't do anything. That's the major thing.

Now, I wouldn't do something like that again if I were you - this is from my personal experience on a long road trip, where a gal I never met slept on my shoulder, and I slept on her shoulder, so there was this pseudo-intimacy thing - but it's not a sin! The Bible doesn't say it's a sin. Satan's trying to get you with the guilt game. And he's probably going to try and get more mileage out of this one, whether it's getting you to sin with somebody, sin against your friend, or whatever. You've probably asked forgiveness for anything bad you might have done, so forgive yourself and move on.

 

[gabrielListens]

The sin you are worried about is fornication.

You did not commit it so you can stop worrying.

All you did was share a bed so that you both would have someplace comfortable to sleep. That is not a sin.