I sleep with him

[illudium_phosdex]

I sleep with him now. For several years my back pain was so bad that I couldn't. It had nothing to do with him or solitude or anything like that. I guess this is another good thing about finally getting my health issues sorted out.

 

[~Anastasia~]

I guess I won't be sleeping with my husband the next few nights. He is coming down with something nasty that's hitting him hard. My immune system has been horrible this year - usually I can keep from getting sick but I just spent the better part of two months with flu, cold, and finally pneumonia I guess ... I have been well for a few weeks and I do NOT want to get sick again!

I feel for him though. The ice has kept everything shut down for 3 days and he was going to go back to work tomorrow. He doesn't handle not working well, and if he has to stay home, he's going to be very unhappy.

 

[akmom]

Oh no, you're in that part of the country. I'm in Alaska where that weather is normal and instead we are having spring! The fact that this weather swap is persisting just baffles me. We have warm spells and the south has cold spells, but not for weeks at a time. We've broken January records in several communities up here.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Oh no, you're in that part of the country. I'm in Alaska where that weather is normal and instead we are having spring! The fact that this weather swap is persisting just baffles me. We have warm spells and the south has cold spells, but not for weeks at a time. We've broken January records in several communities up here.

January records for warmth, I'm guessing?

LOL it's crazy, we've had days here that never got above freezing all day. This is FLORIDA, lol. We are used to a few freezing nights per year, but I have never known it to be below freezing all day.

I'm kind of sad ... for the first time ever I had some nice landscaping. Not a lot, but two palm trees and two large sago palms this house had when we moved in. They have been pretty much completely frozen. All the foliage is dead. I just hope the trees are not dead, but even if they are alive it's going to take a few years before they look like palm trees again. When a hurricane on the beach rips off the fronds on the trees, you have just big sticks for a looonnngggg time. I just hope they are not dead. Trivial kind of thing, I know, but I liked them.

It is really REALLY odd that Alaska is getting Florida weather, and vice versa (though I doubt we are really as bad as you are used to).

 

[CounselorForChrist]

Outside of obvious reasons I'd see no reason to sleep separate. In some cases I would think counselling is in order. Because unless theres a good reason to sleep apart (like medical issues for example), I would wonder if theres something wrong going on in the marriage. As the saying goes, never go to bed angry.

Someone mentioned having noise when you sleep. I am like that. Even when the whether outside is in the negative temps I will have my fan full blast going (pointed at the back wall) for the noise. I need noise to sleep. Silence to me is hard because my mind focuses to much on every sound. I wasn't like this before though.

If I want to block out the sound that doesn't involve my fan I wear ear plugs. Only side effect to the fan thing is sometimes it makes the room cold even with he furnace going. My wife thats never felt anything below 70 degrees will not adjust to that easily. So I'll have to find another device that makes sound.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Outside of obvious reasons I'd see no reason to sleep separate. In some cases I would think counselling is in order. Because unless theres a good reason to sleep apart (like medical issues for example), I would wonder if theres something wrong going on in the marriage. As the saying goes, never go to bed angry.

Someone mentioned having noise when you sleep. I am like that. Even when the whether outside is in the negative temps I will have my fan full blast going (pointed at the back wall) for the noise. I need noise to sleep. Silence to me is hard because my mind focuses to much on every sound. I wasn't like this before though.

If I want to block out the sound that doesn't involve my fan I wear ear plugs. Only side effect to the fan thing is sometimes it makes the room cold even with he furnace going. My wife thats never felt anything below 70 degrees will not adjust to that easily. So I'll have to find another device that makes sound.

I am someone who needs sound to sleep too (just not loud snoring, LOL). I know it's a bad habit, but if you turn on the TV, I'll be out in minutes, usually, lol. My husband needs perfect darkness and silence, otoh.

Anyway, there are lots of white noise machines, etc. I used to have an electronic alarm clock that had various background noises - thunderstorm, water running, frogs, static-y white noise - and it was set on a timer so you could let it run for an hour or two and then turn off. I've seen other alarm clocks with that built in, so it shouldn't be hard to find.

I know there are specific white noise machines too. I used to have a little indoor fountain, but the sound of running water makes many people have to visit the restroom too often. You can also point the fan at a wall instead of directing it toward you when you sleep, but it will still cool the air just a little. I've done all of those though.

 

[Inkachu]

I'm going to have to look into that.

My husband does have sleep apnea, maybe fairly severely. I worry for him. I think he doesn't really rest well and it makes him drowsy all day, and I'm also concerned because, well, he's NOT BREATHING. I take comfort in his snoring at least with that, that I know he's breathing.

But it's so loud, it's disturbing through a closed door, down the hall, over a TV or something else making noise.

He also does it from about the time he falls asleep until about 1 hour before he wakes up, when he finally gets quiet. I've been through many nights with very, very little sleep this way though.

What is with all the sleep apnea in men these days? Seriously, I'm not being snarky, it seems like every wife you ask will say her husband snores or has sleep apnea. I think my husband has a mild to moderate form of it, because his breathing (snoring) is very labored at times, like his body just can't get the air in, and I have seen him stop breathing for a few seconds, and just waiting for him to take a breath seems to take forever. It's VERY scary. It's not much of a problem if he sleeps on his side, it's worse when he's on his back, so I'm constantly telling him to roll over during the night. He's also lost a LOT of weight, and I know that's helped, but it's still an issue.

Sigh. Seems like we get married only to worry to death over our daggone hubbies lol.

 

[Inkachu]

Outside of obvious reasons I'd see no reason to sleep separate. In some cases I would think counselling is in order. Because unless theres a good reason to sleep apart (like medical issues for example), I would wonder if theres something wrong going on in the marriage. As the saying goes, never go to bed angry.

Someone mentioned having noise when you sleep. I am like that. Even when the whether outside is in the negative temps I will have my fan full blast going (pointed at the back wall) for the noise. I need noise to sleep. Silence to me is hard because my mind focuses to much on every sound. I wasn't like this before though.

If I want to block out the sound that doesn't involve my fan I wear ear plugs. Only side effect to the fan thing is sometimes it makes the room cold even with he furnace going. My wife thats never felt anything below 70 degrees will not adjust to that easily. So I'll have to find another device that makes sound.

The sound issue comes up whenever we travel (stay a hotel or something) because, obviously, we can't bring a fan with us. We downloaded a "white noise" mp3 onto my tablet and we just play it (on loop so it goes all night) at a nice loud volume, and it sounds very much like a fan. Also have to leave the tablet plugged in to keep it charged all night, but it works pretty well

I used to have a little indoor fountain, but the sound of running water makes many people have to visit the restroom too often.

This made me LOL for some reason

 

[~Anastasia~]

What is with all the sleep apnea in men these days? Seriously, I'm not being snarky, it seems like every wife you ask will say her husband snores or has sleep apnea. I think my husband has a mild to moderate form of it, because his breathing (snoring) is very labored at times, like his body just can't get the air in, and I have seen him stop breathing for a few seconds, and just waiting for him to take a breath seems to take forever. It's VERY scary. It's not much of a problem if he sleeps on his side, it's worse when he's on his back, so I'm constantly telling him to roll over during the night. He's also lost a LOT of weight, and I know that's helped, but it's still an issue.

Sigh. Seems like we get married only to worry to death over our daggone hubbies lol.

I know ... at least about my husband.

I do worry so much. He does seem to struggle with each (snoring) breath, and then he will stop breathing, sometimes for many seconds, and sometimes several times a minute.

It CAN'T be good for him. I hope we can address it soon. It actually seems a little better than it was, but it's no longer relieved by him lying on his side as it used to be.

And he's not overweight - he's a runner and does physical labor. His weight goes up and down a tiny bit (cooking, LOL, and he has a sweet tooth) but he's never overweight. From what he describes, he's been this way a long time.

 

[Hetta]

I have often thought of sleeping separately. Not because I don't love my husband, but because we are both restless sleepers and often wake each other up. For instance, he woke me up at 3:30 this morning because he got up to go downstairs and turn off a light that one of the kids had left on. Maybe it was bugging him, but instead of just him being awake and annoyed, I was also then awake and annoyed.

Also, we keep very different hours, and I like to be up at 5am, on the treadmill, and although I don't put any lights on (seriously, I run or walk in the almost-dark), he still complains that he can't sleep between 5am and 6am - but he often stays up until 12pm-1am so I really don't have any sympathy for him. LOL.

Maybe when the eldest kid leaves home I'll move into his room.

 

[Hetta]

Yeah, I just saw the posts about sleep apnea. I don't think my dh has that, but he does have over-large tonsils and they cause him to snore. They are so large that it would be difficult to remove them safely, so we're really stuck with that one. When he starts snoring ... omw.

 

[Inkachu]

My hubby is also a major BED HOG. He says it's from all his bachelor years of having his own bed and sprawling all over it, but dang... I mean, I was single for almost as many years, and I try to make sure I scrunch up on one side so I'm not hogging the bed, why can't he do the same? lol

So between the bed hogging, the snoring, the odd hours (yes, my hubby is also a man who works late into the night and sometimes has insomnia)... I don't think I've gotten more than a handful of really restful sleeps in our entire marriage.

I'm tired y'all lol.

 

[Darkhorse]

My hubby is also a major BED HOG. He says it's from all his bachelor years of having his own bed and sprawling all over it, but dang... I mean, I was single for almost as many years, and I try to make sure I scrunch up on one side so I'm not hogging the bed, why can't he do the same? lol

Sometimes "bed hogs" just want to be in contact with their bed partner, and if the partner moves away, they will also move until they corner them. You might try parking yourself near the centerline of your bed and let him snuggle up to you there. If you can sleep with him touching you, you'll have room to move a little on your side of the bed.

Just an idea...

 

[Inkachu]

Dark, I know that he does "gravitate" to me a lot of times, especially if he isn't feeling well or otherwise wants comforting/cuddling. I don't mind him "touching" me at night, but he doesn't just wanna touch, he'll drape himself over me until I'm sweltering and suffocating LOL. So I try to stay on "my side" of the bed (we do lots of snuggling while awake, though). He is a very big, heavy (muscular) guy, and it's literally uncomfortable to have him flung all over me when I'm trying to sleep, I actually find it hard to breathe sometimes cause he's so heavy lol. When it happens, though, I just gently ask him to move over a little, and he will.

I can't park myself at the center of the bed simply because he is such a big guy (think wrestler/powerlifter) and he wouldn't be able to even fit (and we have a king bed!). So I generally scrunch myself into this narrow little slot on my side of the bed and hope for the best

 

[Odetta]

We sleep together, generally. We accommodate each other well, in terms of differing sleeping patterns/timing/etc.

However, our kids are still known for climbing into our bed in the middle of the night. I know I should probably shoo them back, but when it's 3 am, I'm frankly too lazy and tired to care. But then they'll take over the bed and I run out of room. So I'll move to one of theirs or the guest room to finish the night out. I call it mommy alone time. It just happens to be in the wee hours of the morning.

That said, I don't sleep well when DH travels and is (obviously) not in bed with me.

 

[pgp_protector]

Together: though I'd love to throw a heavy object through the TV at times (she "can't" sleep without it being on)

 

[Inkachu]

My hubby is always hot (has a high core body temp) and always wants a fan blowing on him (and since I'm in the bed, too, it blows on me!), even in winter! So he's all sprawled out with no blankets, and I'm shivering underneath mine!

Ahhh, marriage

 

[Hetta]

My hubby is always hot (has a high core body temp) and always wants a fan blowing on him (and since I'm in the bed, too, it blows on me!), even in winter! So he's all sprawled out with no blankets, and I'm shivering underneath mine!

This is another issue for me too. He wants the A/C set at 73 and the ceiling fan on, while I shiver. :/

 

[~Anastasia~]

Well we have more differences than alikes.

I like for the air to be cool but the bed warm. He wants the room warm and to kick off covers.

I fall asleep better with the TV, but he needs complete dark and quiet. (He sometimes wears a sleep mask and earplugs, and I sometimes watch Netflix streaming on a phone or tablet with ear buds if I have them to compromise.)

He does like to drape across me, starts in his sleep, flails, yells. And snores lol. But I love to cuddle so I put up with it.

I'm usually a bit of a night owl and he's sometimes ready to sleep before 8pm.

It's not always easy.

 

[Inkachu]

This is another issue for me too. He wants the A/C set at 73 and the ceiling fan on, while I shiver. :/

Oh, you're a lucky one. My husband won't let me have the thermostat over 65, even in the dead of winter (like right now!). And even then, he still says he's hot all the time. Right now, he's at his computer in a sleeveless shirt and shorts, and I'm wearing a hoodie and sweatpants!