I sleep with him

[ValleyGal]

Interesting item on the news tonight. A couple has been married for a year and they do not sleep in the same room. They have different styles - hers is "aggressively happy" and his is Mediterranean. She likes to read before bed and talk about what she read, and he is fine with her reading, but she typically wants to talk when he's ready to sleep. They state "We love each other so much that we sleep apart to protect each other's solitude."

According to a sleep researcher, half of all married couples sleep separately.

Do you sleep with your spouse or separately...why?

 

[cerette]

I sleep with him too because I have no reason not to. But I do know of at least one couple that don't sleep together (because the husband needs to get the best possible sleep because of his job (surgeon))

 

[Avniel]

Together I have trouble sleeping when she's not around.

 

[Darkhorse]

Together. My wife wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would I.

My parents slept together, but they were "different styles" too. My mom would have preferred separate beds, maybe separate rooms (snoring).

One of her married sisters did have twin beds.

When I was a teenager, one of my girlfriends had twin-bed parents also.

 

[~Anastasia~]

We sleep together part of the time. The intention is that we do, but sometimes I stay up later. He goes to bed very early and gets up very early. I've also slept on the couch a couple of times because, bless him and I love him, but he snores worse than anyone I've ever known, and sometimes startles in his sleep, yells, etc. Sometimes I sleep on the couch to get a little peace. I also have to sleep out here if there's a thunderstorm, because my cat freaks out during storms in the bedroom and will keep waking both of us up, but if I sleep with her in the living room she will lay on the back of the couch and sleep.

I got some earplugs. It's hard to get used to sleeping with them, but I do like to be with him. He's warm and cuddly. and I don't sleep well alone.

 

[WolfGate]

Same bed. Neither of us has ever thought of any other way.

 

[katautumn]

We sleep together when he isn't working nights. My husband works two weeks on day shift, two weeks on night shift. When he works nights I'm already awake and out of bed by the time he gets home from work. So, I sleep alone at night and he sleeps alone during the day. But we can't wait until he's back on days so we can cuddle again.

I honestly don't know how married couples can sleep apart. I know my great aunt and uncle started sleeping in separate beds when he rolled over in the night and broke her nose with his elbow. Eeek!

 

[Niffer]

I was recently around my mother and some of her friends, and was surprised when this topic came up, and how many decided to sleep separately from their spouses.
The most common reason was: "I sleep better alone."

You know, when I think about it, I probably would sleep better alone, Remi talks in his sleep, moves around a TON, snores on occasion and is heavier than I, so the mattress dips towards him.
Whereas I can make a bed before getting into it, and have it still made when I wake up! lol!

But on the rare occasion that he isn't in bed with me, I sleep HORRIBLY.
So I'm in a no win situation I think. Ah well..

~ Niffer

 

[Inkachu]

I've also slept on the couch a couple of times because, bless him and I love him, but he snores worse than anyone I've ever known, and sometimes startles in his sleep, yells, etc.

Are our husbands related? LOL Mine does both as well! I use a fan turned up on high to drown out the snores, but even then it doesn't always help. He's used to me poking him to roll over when it gets too noisy or he's right in my face lol.

I actually like the idea of separate bedrooms. I like private time, space, and quiet. Our house doesn't allow it though, cause we don't have any extra room. I would probably still wind up sleeping with my hubby most of the time, though, because we love being close, but just having the option of a retreat where I can be alone would be really nice. And if he's having a bad night of snoring or tossing or whatever, that keeps me awake, and I do not function well on reduced sleep! Also, if I'm sick, I'll be up half the night coughing and hacking, and then I keep HIM up.

Anyway. I don't think we'll ever actually have separate rooms, but who knows?

 

[ValleyGal]

When we first got married, it took a while for us to sleep well together. Now I can't imagine falling asleep without him being the last thing I see before closing me eyes.

I do know a couple of couples who don't always sleep together - one who is a doctor. Really, though, I am surprised that 50% don't sleep together. I was thinking about this last night and started to wonder if the number is the same among Christians, and what some of the reasons are. I mean, it makes sense that a doctor does not sleep with his spouse during on-call nights or a nurse who works nights is simply not home. But for the couple in the news item - it made no sense to me (it did to them) to have separate rooms because of style and reading. To me that almost sounds like they are unwilling to adapt to each other.

 

[ProudMomxmany]

Together. Except the times when he was at sea or in the hospital. Heck we even managed to sleep together when he was hooked up to a feeding pump.

 

[akmom]

Sounds like some of the situations could be solved by treating sleep apnea and getting one of those beds that you can jump on without spilling the wine glass.

 

[BigDaddy4]

In my youth, I found it odd that my grandma and grandpa had separate rooms. I still don't understand why people do that, let alone 50% of married couples.

I can see the exceptions like a surgeon or something, but snuggling is just too doggone fun!

 

[cerette]

there are some fantastic products to put on the nose that REALLY help with snoring. Ask at your nearest Walmart or something

 

[~Anastasia~]

there are some fantastic products to put on the nose that REALLY help with snoring. Ask at your nearest Walmart or something

I'm going to have to look into that.

My husband does have sleep apnea, maybe fairly severely. I worry for him. I think he doesn't really rest well and it makes him drowsy all day, and I'm also concerned because, well, he's NOT BREATHING. I take comfort in his snoring at least with that, that I know he's breathing.

But it's so loud, it's disturbing through a closed door, down the hall, over a TV or something else making noise.

He also does it from about the time he falls asleep until about 1 hour before he wakes up, when he finally gets quiet. I've been through many nights with very, very little sleep this way though.

 

[cerette]

I'm going to have to look into that.

My husband does have sleep apnea, maybe fairly severely. I worry for him. I think he doesn't really rest well and it makes him drowsy all day, and I'm also concerned because, well, he's NOT BREATHING. I take comfort in his snoring at least with that, that I know he's breathing.

But it's so loud, it's disturbing through a closed door, down the hall, over a TV or something else making noise.

He also does it from about the time he falls asleep until about 1 hour before he wakes up, when he finally gets quiet. I've been through many nights with very, very little sleep this way though.

A family member of mine recently got some breathing "machine" for sleep apnea, it looks uncomfortable and took some time for him to get used to, but it has made a huge positive difference and we don't have to worry about the breathing. The machine makes a bit of a sound but way less than snoring. He lives on his own so the breathing part was very much a concern until he got the machine. (Stayed at my house over the holidays though, so that's why I know about the sound.)

 

[akmom]

Yeah, you should really have him evaluated for sleep apnea. Prolonged lack of oxygen over the years can cause heart problems and other health issues. (Commercially licensed drivers are actually required to be treated for sleep apnea if they have it, I recently learned.)

 

[~Anastasia~]

C-PAP machine, most likely. My mom used one.

I used to think she was the worst snorer ever, until I heard my husband.

Yes, I've been wanting to get him evaluated. His insurance SHOULD be in effect soon. I don't know if they'll cover it, but I'm hoping so.

He sometimes has to commute long distances to work, and I worry about him getting drowsy driving. He also works in dangerous conditions, sometimes, and uses all kinds of equipment. Maybe for that reason his insurance can be persuaded, I don't know.

Thanks for the concern, everyone.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Both. We sleep together for half of the night, and apart for the other half. We snuggle, and fall asleep together, but around 4:00 A.M. my husband usually wakes up, but falls back asleep on the couch a couple of hours, or so, later.

 

[1Sam24:12]

We sleep together.