I should probably stop coming to these forums so often

[Strathos]

I should have admitted this long ago, but these forums simply aren't healthy for my mental well-being. Every single time I post here, I end up leaving in a worse mood than when I arrived. It's mainly because there is so much anger, confrontation, and intolerance among the posters here, especially in certain subforums. Of course, not naming any names, but whenever I return to the forums, I dread seeing notifications, because most of the time they're people quoting my posts to tell me things like:

'This verse clearly means X and not Y, and if you disagree you're a heretic who's going to Hell'
'You can't call yourself a Christian if you voted for such-and-such'
'The earth is totally flat, here, watch this 20 hour long youtube video that proves it, and no I don't care about any of your counter arguments'
'I'm still right about this, all of your evidence doesn't count'

etc.

Which brings up another thing. It's impossible to effectively debate anything here, because no matter how much time you spend finding and linking evidence, people are just so set in their opinions that they will never be swayed by it, and just call your sources biased without justifying that (and then expect you to never question any of their sources).

What makes it worse is that my positions often leave me caught in between extremes, so on one hand I have the more fundamentalist and literalist Christians telling me I'm a heretic and that I don't really believe in God's word just because I don't believe the flood covered the entire planet, and on the other hand I have these atheists telling me that I'm a superstitious fool clinging to old myths if I even suggest that the Bible has anything relevant to say about modern culture or science.

It's the same with politics. Some people see me as a communist for supporting the idea of universal healthcare, and others see me as a fascist for suggesting that maybe abortion shouldn't be available to everyone at any time under any circumstances. And there are so many people with so many convoluted conspiracy beliefs that it's impossible to convince them anything they believe might not be true, even though I always try my best to vet my sources.

And then there are the people who openly declare their support for (from my perspective at least) repellent and harmful policies, and spread false information to do that. And often times when they are called on that, they will even say that they don't care if a certain claim is false, if it supports their agenda, they have no problem repeating it.

It's just a stressful and altogether unpleasant experience. I don't feel a sense of community here like I do at my church. I mostly just feel hostility and hate. So I might not be posting here as often as I once did.

 

[bekkilyn]

I've taken a few health breaks from CF myself and nothing wrong with doing so when necessary or even if you just want to, especially if you find yourself getting too emotionally invested or it ends up cutting into time that you wanted to spend doing something else.

I've learned a while ago not to waste time doing a lot of research to provide evidence and links and such. If I can find something in a couple of minutes or so, I'll post it, but no way am I spending a huge amount of time creating what may be the equivalent of a masters thesis only for it to be met with a "nuh uh". Seen it happen too many times and my thought is if they are really interested, they can take the time and go find out things on their own, and if they don't, they weren't interested anyway.

I did get a chuckle out of your "flat earth" example even as I also know it is true that one would get exactly the responses you receive.

 

[Der Alte]

I should have admitted this long ago, but these forums simply aren't healthy for my mental well-being. Every single time I post here, I end up leaving in a worse mood than when I arrived. It's mainly because there is so much anger, confrontation, and intolerance among the posters here, especially in certain subforums. Of course, not naming any names, but whenever I return to the forums, I dread seeing notifications, because most of the time they're people quoting my posts to tell me things like:

'This verse clearly means X and not Y, and if you disagree you're a heretic who's going to Hell'
'You can't call yourself a Christian if you voted for such-and-such'
'The earth is totally flat, here, watch this 20 hour long youtube video that proves it, and no I don't care about any of your counter arguments'
'I'm still right about this, all of your evidence doesn't count'

etc.

Which brings up another thing. It's impossible to effectively debate anything here, because no matter how much time you spend finding and linking evidence, people are just so set in their opinions that they will never be swayed by it, and just call your sources biased without justifying that (and then expect you to never question any of their sources).

What makes it worse is that my positions often leave me caught in between extremes, so on one hand I have the more fundamentalist and literalist Christians telling me I'm a heretic and that I don't really believe in God's word just because I don't believe the flood covered the entire planet, and on the other hand I have these atheists telling me that I'm a superstitious fool clinging to old myths if I even suggest that the Bible has anything relevant to say about modern culture or science.

It's the same with politics. Some people see me as a communist for supporting the idea of universal healthcare, and others see me as a fascist for suggesting that maybe abortion shouldn't be available to everyone at any time under any circumstances. And there are so many people with so many convoluted conspiracy beliefs that it's impossible to convince them anything they believe might not be true, even though I always try my best to vet my sources.

And then there are the people who openly declare their support for (from my perspective at least) repellent and harmful policies, and spread false information to do that. And often times when they are called on that, they will even say that they don't care if a certain claim is false, if it supports their agenda, they have no problem repeating it.

It's just a stressful and altogether unpleasant experience. I don't feel a sense of community here like I do at my church. I mostly just feel hostility and hate. So I might not be posting here as often as I once did.

Don't give up. When you are finished for the day, leave it here.
I have been active at this forum since late '89-early '90. I soon realized that the same arguments, the same out-of-context proof texts are repeated over and over. So I started saving my responses and revising them, as necessary, as I found more or better resources.
I have had some successes. Sometimes someone who I have been talking to contacts me and says basically "You're right and I was wrong." That makes it all worthwhile.

 

[bekkilyn]

Don't give up. When you are finished for the day, leave it here.
I have been active at this forum since late '89-early '90. I soon realized that the same arguments, the same out-of-context proof texts are repeated over and over. So I started saving my responses and revising them, as necessary, as I found more or better resources.
I have had some successes. Sometimes someone who I have been talking to contacts me and says basically "You're right and I was wrong." That makes it all worthwhile.

I hope you printed it out and framed that statement.

 

[TheWhat?]

Don't give up. When you are finished for the day, leave it here.
I have been active at this forum since late '89-early '90. I soon realized that the same arguments, the same out-of-context proof texts are repeated over and over. So I started saving my responses and revising them, as necessary, as I found more or better resources.
I have had some successes. Sometimes someone who I have been talking to contacts me and says basically "You're right and I was wrong." That makes it all worthwhile.

This forum has been around since '89??? Are you sure?

 

[Palmfever]

This forum has been around since '89??? Are you sure?

That's when Al Gore did his best work..

 

[Der Alte]

I hope you printed it out and framed that statement.

I did. One was LDS we butted heads for a while then the person sent me a private message and said they had saved every post I sent. After that they became a Christian and was even on staff here for a few years

 

[Der Alte]

This forum has been around since '89??? Are you sure?

Absolutely. Kinda fuzzy but I know it was late '89, early '90. I think the present owner is the third one. The original owner was a doctor in Australia who also earned a law degree. I was on staff for 5 years but had to take an unexpected train trip.

 

[TheWhat?]

Absolutely. Kinda fuzzy but I know it was late '89, early '90. I think the present owner is the third one. The original owner was a doctor in Australia who also earned a law degree. I was on staff for 5 years but had to take an unexpected train trip.

I think I remember him, but good night, I thought I was an old timer starting here at around '03-'04.

 

[Petros2015]

And then there are the people who openly declare their support for (from my perspective at least) repellent and harmful policies, and spread false information to do that. And often times when they are called on that, they will even say that they don't care if a certain claim is false, if it supports their agenda, they have no problem repeating it.

Well, we only have control over what we have control over. We have control over who is on our Ignore lists and who we engage or discuss things with. Using it sparingly keeps me open to other viewpoints and away from posters there's no point in my interacting with.

 

[Martinius]

Every single time I post here, I end up leaving in a worse mood than when I arrived. It's mainly because there is so much anger, confrontation, and intolerance among the posters here, especially in certain sub-forums.

I was a member of this forum for seven years or so and I really learned a lot, made some friends, and participated in many engaging (and sometimes fun) discussions. About four years ago many of the members I interacted with starting disappearing from here. I, too, dropped out until a few weeks ago, when I ventured back to "test the waters" again.

I left for the same reasons that you describe, mostly the level of intolerance, anger and vitriol that seemed to me inconsistent with a Christian forum. I had hoped to find it had improved during my hiatus, but it is no better, and perhaps worse (since the people who made it tolerable for me seem to be all gone; I wish I knew to where).

Upon returning, I read several recent threads, with the idea of posting my thoughts. But after reading the responses and the direction they were headed, I left most of them alone. I knew it would be useless, as a respectful dialogue would not be possible.

So, I've decided to check the forum less frequently, and if it continues as is, will look elsewhere for some intelligent conversation.

If you want to discuss this further, Strathos, send me a PM. But give me a couple of days to see it and respond.

Peace and Blessings.

 

[Lady Bug]

I'm very picky about where I go on CF because certain areas are prone to conflict. Even then however, I don't make posts very often and don't comment on things as often as I used to because somehow I feel wrong for doing it, later.

 

[LeGato]

I should have admitted this long ago, but these forums simply aren't healthy for my mental well-being. Every single time I post here, I end up leaving in a worse mood than when I arrived. It's mainly because there is so much anger, confrontation, and intolerance among the posters here, especially in certain subforums. Of course, not naming any names, but whenever I return to the forums, I dread seeing notifications, because most of the time they're people quoting my posts to tell me things like:

'This verse clearly means X and not Y, and if you disagree you're a heretic who's going to Hell'
'You can't call yourself a Christian if you voted for such-and-such'
'The earth is totally flat, here, watch this 20 hour long youtube video that proves it, and no I don't care about any of your counter arguments'
'I'm still right about this, all of your evidence doesn't count'

etc.

Which brings up another thing. It's impossible to effectively debate anything here, because no matter how much time you spend finding and linking evidence, people are just so set in their opinions that they will never be swayed by it, and just call your sources biased without justifying that (and then expect you to never question any of their sources).

What makes it worse is that my positions often leave me caught in between extremes, so on one hand I have the more fundamentalist and literalist Christians telling me I'm a heretic and that I don't really believe in God's word just because I don't believe the flood covered the entire planet, and on the other hand I have these atheists telling me that I'm a superstitious fool clinging to old myths if I even suggest that the Bible has anything relevant to say about modern culture or science.

It's the same with politics. Some people see me as a communist for supporting the idea of universal healthcare, and others see me as a fascist for suggesting that maybe abortion shouldn't be available to everyone at any time under any circumstances. And there are so many people with so many convoluted conspiracy beliefs that it's impossible to convince them anything they believe might not be true, even though I always try my best to vet my sources.

And then there are the people who openly declare their support for (from my perspective at least) repellent and harmful policies, and spread false information to do that. And often times when they are called on that, they will even say that they don't care if a certain claim is false, if it supports their agenda, they have no problem repeating it.

It's just a stressful and altogether unpleasant experience. I don't feel a sense of community here like I do at my church. I mostly just feel hostility and hate. So I might not be posting here as often as I once did.

I just joined these a forums couple days ago. I don't have social media so I usually hang out on 4chan (yes, there a ton of Christians on /pol/, mainly Catholics and Orthodox). I joined because I needed a more positive community to spend my time on...hence the Christian forums.

Most people have been nice, but most threads I post in renders me a fight with at least one person...just for expressing an opinion (which is what the thread is there for). I too am getting to the point where I absolutely dread looking at my alerts. Because it usually means I've got to get back into the ring again.

Some of the people here are very angry, and it's hard to believe they are even Christians. And these are people with Christian denominations in their profile. And don't get me started on the Atheists and "Others"....I am surprised they are even allowed to post here on a Christian site and degrade Christians (which I have already seen). I've already had to block two of them...and I've only been on this site since late last week.

 

[Martinius]

I'm very picky about where I go on CF because certain areas are prone to conflict. Even then however, I don't make posts very often and don't comment on things as often as I used to because somehow I feel wrong for doing it, later.

Exactly my view. I would post more, but it would be like swimming against a hurricane's tidal surge. Best to avoid it.

I too am getting to the point where I absolutely dread looking at my alerts. Because it usually means I've got to get back into the ring again.

Turn the other cheek and don't get into a useless fight. I was on a thread once where there were several posters, and a very robust and intelligent discussion. But people kept dropping out until there was just one angry guy and me (the angry guy did not make any valid points, he just attacked and attacked other posters). When I realized that, I stopped responding too. He posted a couple of more times, trying to get me or anyone else to respond, and when no one took the bait, he stopped as well. End of thread. If there is no one out there to beat up on, the attacker will go away.

Oh yes, Welcome to CF.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. I have the opposite problem. I can deal with people better when they are rough and tumble. But we're all made differently and regardless, it isn't right that you have been made to feel condemned. People who do this are usually struggling too and being combative makes them feel secure; they fight because they are scared. They are more concerned about their own souls than about the people they engage. They don't like gray areas and they don't want to be duped.
We are also in year what? Two or three of Covid plus the political turmoil. I had friendships that didn't survive Covid. People left my church because no one could agree on vaccines and masks. The world was a completely different place in 2019, it's much darker now. It's been a rollercoaster for everyone.

I should have admitted this long ago, but these forums simply aren't healthy for my mental well-being. Every single time I post here, I end up leaving in a worse mood than when I arrived. It's mainly because there is so much anger, confrontation, and intolerance among the posters here, especially in certain subforums. Of course, not naming any names, but whenever I return to the forums, I dread seeing notifications, because most of the time they're people quoting my posts to tell me things like:

'This verse clearly means X and not Y, and if you disagree you're a heretic who's going to Hell'
'You can't call yourself a Christian if you voted for such-and-such'
'The earth is totally flat, here, watch this 20 hour long youtube video that proves it, and no I don't care about any of your counter arguments'
'I'm still right about this, all of your evidence doesn't count'

etc.

Which brings up another thing. It's impossible to effectively debate anything here, because no matter how much time you spend finding and linking evidence, people are just so set in their opinions that they will never be swayed by it, and just call your sources biased without justifying that (and then expect you to never question any of their sources).

What makes it worse is that my positions often leave me caught in between extremes, so on one hand I have the more fundamentalist and literalist Christians telling me I'm a heretic and that I don't really believe in God's word just because I don't believe the flood covered the entire planet, and on the other hand I have these atheists telling me that I'm a superstitious fool clinging to old myths if I even suggest that the Bible has anything relevant to say about modern culture or science.

It's the same with politics. Some people see me as a communist for supporting the idea of universal healthcare, and others see me as a fascist for suggesting that maybe abortion shouldn't be available to everyone at any time under any circumstances. And there are so many people with so many convoluted conspiracy beliefs that it's impossible to convince them anything they believe might not be true, even though I always try my best to vet my sources.

And then there are the people who openly declare their support for (from my perspective at least) repellent and harmful policies, and spread false information to do that. And often times when they are called on that, they will even say that they don't care if a certain claim is false, if it supports their agenda, they have no problem repeating it.

It's just a stressful and altogether unpleasant experience. I don't feel a sense of community here like I do at my church. I mostly just feel hostility and hate. So I might not be posting here as often as I once did.

 

[LeGato]

Exactly my view. I would post more, but it would be like swimming against a hurricane's tidal surge. Best to avoid it.


Turn the other cheek and don't get into a useless fight. I was on a thread once where there were several posters, and a very robust and intelligent discussion. But people kept dropping out until there was just one angry guy and me (the angry guy did not make any valid points, he just attacked and attacked other posters). When I realized that, I stopped responding too. He posted a couple of more times, trying to get me or anyone else to respond, and when no one took the bait, he stopped as well. End of thread. If there is no one out there to beat up on, the attacker will go away.

Oh yes, Welcome to CF.

God made me a stubborn one. But I will usually bow out after my point is made. However, there is absolutely no reason for people to get so nasty. And these people...Christians...do. But I suppose we are all sinners.

 

[LeGato]

I have the opposite problem. I can deal with people better when they are rough and tumble.

We've roughed and tumbled together, but she's one of the Good ones!

 

[bekkilyn]

If people just attack what I say, that's one thing, but once they start attacking me as a person, they go on ignore. The CF world becomes a much nicer place.

 

[Thatgirloncfforums]

I just joined these a forums couple days ago. I don't have social media so I usually hang out on 4chan (yes, there a ton of Christians on /pol/, mainly Catholics and Orthodox). I joined because I needed a more positive community to spend my time on...hence the Christian forums.

Most people have been nice, but most threads I post in renders me a fight with at least one person...just for expressing an opinion (which is what the thread is there for). I too am getting to the point where I absolutely dread looking at my alerts. Because it usually means I've got to get back into the ring again.

Some of the people here are very angry, and it's hard to believe they are even Christians. And these are people with Christian denominations in their profile. And don't get me started on the Atheists and "Others"....I am surprised they are even allowed to post here on a Christian site and degrade Christians (which I have already seen). I've already had to block two of them...and I've only been on this site since late last week.

4 Chan is awesome.

For myself, coming from Telegram and Gab (and before that Parler), CForums strikes me as extremely mild. The only thing milder are some of the private chats on Facebook. Twitter is..there is no word for what Twitter is.
I use to post on Carm starting in about 2001. I was there for about 7 years. It was extremely volatile too.

People say to get off the net, but I remember when the net was good. I think the body-lessness of it contributes to the warfare. There's something about physicality that makes us sympathetic to one another. Also, people thrive on anonymity.

 

[bekkilyn]

After going through a lengthy tour of duty in Ultima Online back in the day, I knew the internet was scum!