I really messed up this time **Trigger warning**

[NoddaProbBob]

People have been really worried about me lately, and I keep telling them that I've stopped cutting, and that I'm ok.

Well I'm feeling so down right now. And the truth is that I still am cutting. And I can't seem to say it.
And I feel like a liar.

So last night when I cut. I didn't just make a cut
I cut the word 'liar' .


I can't even begin to say how messed up I feel, and that never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imaginged myself so screwed up...


I'm sorry to everyone that has left me encouraging words. I feel like I've failed everyone...

 

[Soulwings]

You've not failed. You're still posting here, and that's a sign you want/need support and encouragement. I understand how messed up you feel, even though you can't find the words to express it. I've been there. I've lied. Over and over again, in fact. But take this from someone who's been there - tell people, get help. They might be upset with you for a short while, but that's only because they're concerned. Cutting isn't a small deal, no matter how "everyday" and "common" it is. It's potentially deadly. And you don't want to have to rely on it, when it causes bigger problems than the ones you're trying to use it to solve.

I'm here if you ever need to talk, gorgeous. Hang in there. And talk to someone in real life too.

 

[texannurse]

I am sorry that you feel so bad right now. But, like soulwings said, you did NOT fail. You fell, but that does not make you a failure. Oh, I know the feeling of "letting people down". But, if they are people who really care, they will continue to support and love you, even when you fall.

I am so glad you are still coming on here for support. I know that this forum has helped me a ton to keep struggling to overcome this behavior. Praying that you will have the strength and courage to get up again and continue fighting!

God bless you! TN

 

[berry2000]

Hey there,
I hear the negative self talk loud and clear. It just means you are still right on the battle field. And although you are still cutting and lying it doesn't mean it is time to give up. I believe we have all been there. I lied alot when I was cutting. How else can you keep your secret. I know it ifeels awful, the lying. I just want to leave you a verse:

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" Phillipians 4:13

You see if you try to fight this battle with your own strength it is almost impossible. When you hand it over to God each and every time....well that's when you start to defeat the enemy.

We are here for you! NO matter what point in the struggle you are at. And we are not condemning because we understand!

 

[Taylor43]

Hun please know God loves you and he forgives you. I am sorry your struggiling please pm me if you need to vent. I mess up too myself but God loves us both and everyone. Please do not be hard on yourself
Love
Taylor

 

[clycleader]

You haven't failed. But I agree w/ soulwings, please talk w/ someone in real life. This definately is GREAT support and all, but talk w/ someone.
I'm praying for you. Things will be ok.

 

[NoddaProbBob]

I can't deal with any of this anymore...

Im so stressed out, and I feel like I don't have any real friends, and Im so scared that im going to end up alone.

Everyone hates me and I hate myself most of all.

I want this all to be over.

*cries*

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Hun, you know you can PM any of us any time if you want to talk . I know I don't hate you - not even close.

Why are you so stressed at the moment?

I'm praying for you Beautiful.

 

[texannurse]

Beautiful - hang in there! We are all praying for you during this time of intense stress. I do not hate you at all - I have seen you be able to be really strong before. Keep up the fight!!! It is worth it!

Praying for you! tN

 

[Taylor43]

Please pm me or anyone here you can feel safe talking to hun. I am sorry you feel the way you do, i too feel that way allot people hate me. I am keeping you in my prayers tonight. I want you to know God loves you no matter what he will never leave or forsake you. I hope you are having a better day today. Just know honey we are here reach out you do not have to struggle alone.
Love
Taylor