I really feel like hurting myself

[TheCrimson]

I've really felt like hurting myself lately. I was recently hospitalized for a suicide attempt and missed almost 3 weeks of school. I just came back a day ago and im really feeling overwhelmed. When i get stressed I tend to think about hurting myself. What can I do? Please keep me in prayer

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Do you have any close friends/family or someone else you trust that you could talk to? I know it can feel as though you're not worth anyone's time and you don't want to hurt or disappoint them, but I can promise you that at least 8 people would be forever affected by you taking your life. You are important enough to them that their worlds would be turned upside down.

For when you get stressed, have you had a look at the Things You Can Do to De-escalte and Divert an Emergency thread that's a sticky in this forum? They might not all help you, but it can be handy to make a list of 4 or 5 techniques that you can keep in your wallet and carry around with you. When you start to get stressed and feel yourself getting suicidal (or even wanting to hurt yourself), pull out the list and work your way down.

I also want to put part of a book that I'm reading in here by Ellen Bass in case it helps. It goes:

Sometimes you feel so bad, you want to die. The pain is so great, your feelings of self-loathing so strong, the fear so intense, that you really don't want to live. These are your authentic feelings and it is important not to deny them. It is also essential not to act on them. It's okay to feel as devastated as you feel - but make sure you don't hurt yourself. We have lost far too many people already. We can't afford to lose more. We can't afford to lose you. You deserve to live.

It takes time to want to live. To stop being so angry at yourself and feeling worthless. In the meantime, don't kill yourself. Get help. If the first help isn't helpful, get other help. Don't give up. When you feel bad enough to want to die, it's hard to imagine that you could ever feel any other way. But you can. And will.

Every time you bear the pain without hurting yourself, every time you keep yourself safe, you need to remember just how strong you are. When each day is touch and go, remember that you made it through. Don't tell yourself off for being weak - you're not weak. Surviving makes you braver than most others. You can do it *hug*.