I never talk

[EternalMoment]

I never talk....unless someone takes the time to open me up. Then you'd never know I was quiet. Am I extremely shy? Or am I autistic. I mean I NEVER talk literally. People think I am retarded. I actually have feelings just like everyone else. I have ideas like everyone else. I have opinions like everyone else. I just am locked inside and I cannot express myself, because that would make me too nervous and I would feel like an alien. It's weird. But anyway, I just don't want to look retarded, because I am not. What can I do to just be real, and stop being all weird and quiet. What's wrong with me?

 

[C-Man]

I'm the exact same way. And no, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. You don't have to say a word if there's nothing you want to say.
Mark Twain said it best: "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt."

 

[Catherineanne]

I never talk....unless someone takes the time to open me up. Then you'd never know I was quiet. Am I extremely shy? Or am I autistic. I mean I NEVER talk literally. People think I am retarded. I actually have feelings just like everyone else. I have ideas like everyone else. I have opinions like everyone else. I just am locked inside and I cannot express myself, because that would make me too nervous and I would feel like an alien. It's weird. But anyway, I just don't want to look retarded, because I am not. What can I do to just be real, and stop being all weird and quiet. What's wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you. Some people are naturally outgoing, some are not.

I am not. Like you, I can be friendly, particularly when speaking to just one other person, but mostly I stay quiet, particularly at first. This is nothing to do with having any kind of learning disability.

 

[flowerforever7]

I have absolutely no desire to socialize with people in person. Unless it is in the context of a romantic relationship (which commonly involves people interacting in person to foster that type of relationship with another person, yet this is changing with progressive technology). I have asperger's syndrome. I do not believe I am as non-verbal as you. I speak to people because I am expected to and I have my scripts I use. However, I am most comfortable not talking to people who are around me. Too many things to process. I have been home and have heard repeatedly that the people living around me did not even realize I was home because I was so quiet. (This is except when I am stimming and making repeated noises and singing the same line from a song over and over again). Also, I have a lot of difficulty reciprocating in in-person conversation. Often, I don't know what to say to a person after I have answered their question. Sometimes I repeat the question they asked me back to them, as I know that happens in conversation. Usually I don't have interest in other people, that sounds absolutely horrible, but it's true. There are a few people I have interest in, but the rest I feel content being in my own world. A lot of their social rituals like getting together for no specific reason other than to socialize are uncomfortable for me, and are typically not enjoyable. It does sound like an autistic spectrum disorder. However, no one here can diagnose you so you should seek out a doctor who specializes in diagnosing autistic spectrum disorders. Finding out can help you possibly make more sense of why you are the way you are. I have found that there is a whole community of people out there who have an ASD and it is great to connect with them online or in a support group and learn of other people going through the same things. Compared to neurotypical people I am weird, compared to other people with an ASD I feel at home. Not to say there are neuro-typical people I do not care about, and cannot relate to in some ways, but I feel like a lot more people on the autistic spectrum 'get' me.

 

[Sabertooth]

I am in Mensa and, apart from Mensa and other Aspies, I am often accused of being retarded...!?

 

[Fangtastic]

Don't mistake other disorders for Autism please. If you are Autistic then a sit down with a few drs is in order. You need a whole lot of diagnosis to be sure. More than one or two opinions with the guideline testing. At 23,if Autism was a factor by now you'd have been in a psych office.

 

[flowerforever7]

Don't mistake other disorders for Autism please. If you are Autistic then a sit down with a few drs is in order. You need a whole lot of diagnosis to be sure. More than one or two opinions with the guideline testing. At 23,if Autism was a factor by now you'd have been in a psych office.

Your last statement is a blanket statement, and is not true for every person's case. I myself have aspergers and was not diagnosed till I was 29. Asperger's syndrome was not even in the diagnostic manuals until 1994; therefore a lot of people who were misdiagnosed early on are now being correctly diagnosed at an older age due to more complete information. You also have to understand people's life situations. Someone may have a family situation that is not condusive for them being diagnosed while under their guardian's care. There are many reasons for this. Someone may live with one or two parents who could be negligent because of laziness or some sort of substance abuse problem, abusive toward their child, have to much pride to admit their child may have autism and refuse seeking a diagnosis, just genuinely not know what autism really is, or a variety of other reasons. A lot of people are not educated about autism, and the fact that it is a spectrum disorder. Some people may see a tv special about an autistic savant on tv and think that everyone has autism is like that; when that is really not the case at all. (By the way, only 2% of autistic people actually have a savant - just a factoid). My mother who herself shows very strong signs of autism; not only is it noticable, someone actually told her that they think she has some type of autism. Anyway, she never went for a formal diagnosis and never took me for a diagnosis though I showed "noticable" traits. I don't even think my mom really even knew what autism was. I sure didn't and I had the signs of autism!

The thing with autism is that it is a spectrum disorder. There are people who are on the Kanner's autism part of the spectrum that are more severely affected and it is readily and immediately noticable to people that person has autism. And then there is the very high functioning end of the spectrum where Asperger's syndrome is. There are people with high-functioning autism and asperger's syndrome that can function passibly well as individuals in society; hence the name "high-functioning". I use to go to GRASP support meetings for people who have aspergers and high functioning autism. It always amazed me what a spectrum disorder it actually is. There were people there who looked outwardly autistic. And then there were others who looked like normal people, were noticably smart and able to articulate themselves, these people having autism, high-functioning autism or asperger's syndrome.

'EternalMoment' is noticing something that is quite frankly an autistic trait. It does not mean this is a case of autism, but it's worth examining. I commend you for prompting her to check it out with a doctor (best to go to a doctor who specializes in diagnosing autistic disorders), yet at the same time I do not agree with your statement about how if she had autism at 23 she would be in a psych office by now. That is absolutely not true for everyone, and if she validly feels she should be evaluated for autism, I say go for it. I now know why I have had so many problems functioning for so long even though I "look" normal.

@ 'EternalMoment': Being diagnosed honestly felt like finding the manual to my brain. I was able to understand why I have been having issues for so long and it was a relief in that sense. I think 2nd opinions are always good, but I feel if you go to a doctor who specializes in diagnosing autistic disorders and give an honest history of your challenges past and present, they can diagnose you. Usually it is not just you going in to a doctor and saying what you are having problems with, though that is a part. Most likely they will give you tests and also gather history and information from a family member or someone in close quarters with you. Getting evaluated can be expensive. So if it is worth it to you, save the money and go do it. You may have another disorder that is not autism, but finding out either way can give you peace of mind and help you deal with what is going on more effectively.

 

[Standing_Ultraviolet]

It's possible for some people to not know that they have autism for a very long time. I have Asperger's syndrome, and it's something that most people tend not to notice upon first meeting me. Honestly, if I had always been like I am now, I would probably have never been diagnosed (not for lack of having any difficulties socializing or with other things, but because the ones I have aren't severe enough for me or my family to be overly concerned about them). When I was younger, I fit the description of Asperger's to a tee, so it was pretty obvious to everyone what was going on.

That said, if you're curious, you might want to do a test online to see if you meet any of the characteristics for Asperger's. It's a lot cheaper than going to a psychiatrist until you have a better idea of whether or not that's what's going on

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, I was in my 50's before I was told I had AS.

I didn't talk much when I was in my teens and 20's. But I gradually learned skills so that I can now interact very well with people. I learned about story telling. People are always drawn to a good story. I started telling short stories. Then I had to learn when people were bored with my story. But I found I can't stop telling a story once I start. But I can shorten the story when I see a person is bored with it. Then its all tied up in learning a friends interest. Some friends aren't interested in certain stories no matter how good the story is because they have no interest in that topic.

OH, I used to just spout facts. Most people aren't interested in facts. So I learned to find a story with the fact in it to get the fact out that I wanted to express.

dayhiker