Hi I am 40 and never had a long term relationship. Is there something wrong with me? Since I am that age and never really clicked with anyone long term would it mean I be like that still for the rest of my my life? I have dated, but rarely dates have lasted longer than the second date. I would have much easier if I had the confidence when I was younger to get dates but I was too shy and I know when I was a really young man a lot of women were attracted to me. Yet I have largely lost the youthful look. Plus I do not have much money so I not able to provide much financial security.
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I never had long term relationship
- Thread starter dude99
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Do you have any long term relationship in your life? Friendships that have lasted for any number of years? If so, then you are capable of having a long term relationship. If not, I'd go get some counseling.
Why don't you ask a woman out beyond a second date...or do they all turn you down after that second date? Those are two different issues.
As for looks, the women your age are also losing their "youthful" looks so that isn't usually an issue. Maturity doesn't mean "ugly".
And are you gainfully employed...can you support at least yourself and potentially part of a family because most women don't expect to live on only one income anymore?
Why don't you ask a woman out beyond a second date...or do they all turn you down after that second date? Those are two different issues.
As for looks, the women your age are also losing their "youthful" looks so that isn't usually an issue. Maturity doesn't mean "ugly".
And are you gainfully employed...can you support at least yourself and potentially part of a family because most women don't expect to live on only one income anymore?
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The reasons why dates don't go further is because there is no spark either with me or the woman.
I am unemployed btw.
I have had friendships last for a number of years.
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Purge187
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If you're asking if you're "disqualified" from being blessed in your personal life or any other regard, I'd direct you to what God said to Moses about his perceived handicap:
The LORD said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD?
The LORD said to him, "Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the LORD?
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Who are you asking out: women you don't know or women that you actually know something about in advance? I can't image that every one you have gone out with is a "dud" before date three if you were attracted enough to ask for date one unless you are dating women you know absolutely nothing about beforehand (meaning the only basis of the date is looks).
If you have had friendships that have lasted for years, then you are capable of a long term relationship because you have had them before ... just not any that included romance. Dating long term is very similar to having a friend long term.
As for the unemployment, I am going to start a separate thread to discuss this.
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dayhiker
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Well, dude, personal growth is work and work never hurt anyone as the saying goes.
So I say at 40 you still have many years to get your act together. Do you need more education, find a program and find money to get that education in a field that will get you a good job. Work it 8 to 12 hrs a day. Like black, go to school and become a nurse, then you know you will have a good paying job.
What do you need to learn to attract a woman? To exercise you are have a better body. Well, you don't need a penny to do that. walk/job, do pushups, jumping jacks ...
Do you know how to tell a good story, start practicing telling stories and learn to read when a person is bored hearing it and then figure out what will work by telling the story again only change how you present some.
I did many of the above and its changed the whole way I live my life and I have more love now than I've ever had in my life. Your barely half way thru your life and so you can have a great life the next 40 years.
So I say at 40 you still have many years to get your act together. Do you need more education, find a program and find money to get that education in a field that will get you a good job. Work it 8 to 12 hrs a day. Like black, go to school and become a nurse, then you know you will have a good paying job.
What do you need to learn to attract a woman? To exercise you are have a better body. Well, you don't need a penny to do that. walk/job, do pushups, jumping jacks ...
Do you know how to tell a good story, start practicing telling stories and learn to read when a person is bored hearing it and then figure out what will work by telling the story again only change how you present some.
I did many of the above and its changed the whole way I live my life and I have more love now than I've ever had in my life. Your barely half way thru your life and so you can have a great life the next 40 years.
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Thanks for the replys. I trust in the Lord to provide healing in my life. He will provide and will bring great things in my life as long as I have faith it will happen.
I do plan to do further study. I also plan to go to the gym. I do plan to do things soon I have never done before. I don't know the outcome but the Lord can bring great rewards whatever the outcome.
I do plan to do further study. I also plan to go to the gym. I do plan to do things soon I have never done before. I don't know the outcome but the Lord can bring great rewards whatever the outcome.
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