I need to vent

[Michie]

Am I disturbed or upset? I'm something...I dunno. Should I be?

I always question myself. Scold myself, you name it.

Anyway, last week when I was getting prepared to do my communion duties, I stopped off at Church to get the Eucharist from the tabernacle. As I went in to get the key I saw my two priests & our deacon in discussion. The head priest stopped me & informed me that Betty, one of the people I see has been heard to be gossiping. Just about people in Church particularly. I was shocked. I've never heard her say anything bad about anyone from Church. I mean, she jokes but they are racy off-topic jokes. And one guy she was said to be talking about visits her & I know he jokes with her. A guy in his seventies. They always joke about getting married, etc. Just silly stuff.

The only person I have heard her discuss was her doctor. Does not like her doctor. Not a good bedside manner or something & I guess he screws around with his nurse or something. I just basically change the subject when it comes up.

Anyway, my priest said he discussed it with nursing staff & they said they would try to curb her from it if they heard her doing it.

I went out that day to give her communion & she was just staring off into space. Not talking hardly at all. I felt really bad for her. But I was not sure if it had anything to do with what I was told. She took communion but was very quiet. Not our usual chats & giggling. I told her I would see her the following week & hoped she felt better.

I called the priest & left a voicemail for him that I was concerned. Betty was not herself & I felt bad for her. Also, that I have never heard her discuss anyone in Church in a bad way.

Never got a reply but I really did not expect to.

So this week, I'm out making my rounds. Betty is usually my last I give communion to because she likes to talk & laugh & just generally discuss her feelings.

I was shocked & upset. She was responsive but barely. She was cold. She just took a miniscule piece of communion & I talked her into that. She was COLD. She looked like she was in the process of dying.

She was barely audible & tried to hold my hand. She tried to squeeze it but it was very weak. I was soooo upset. I told her to get better & I loved her, etc.

Before I left the facility I called the office & asked to talk to the priests. Nobody there. Deacon? Nobody there. So I left a voicemail with the Deacon. I'm sure he could tell I was frustrated. After I left, I decided to swing by the Church. Found our assistant priest there praying & I asked to speak with him. I basically told him my feelings. Told him that normally, I would not be so upset but since that conversation lastweek I was afraid that she was losing her spirit. I mean, if she can't just be herself & if people were curbing her conversation... you know? Especially older sick people.

He did not say much but said he would go out. I did reassure him that I asked the employeees if she was sick & they affirmed that she was. No game of possum or just being upset. I mean, she was cold!

So now I feel bad. I feel bad that maybe the priests & deacon feel I'm accusing them. I'm not really & I don't know what they heard. She is not well & maybe the timing of all this happening was just a coincidence. I worry about what they think. I imagine scenerios of Betty trying to joke & nurses quelling her so she just gives up. I dunno. But I'm uncomfortable with how I feel & everything else I mentioned.

Am I overreacting?

Am I letting my imagination run wild?

 

[Rhamiel]

talk to your priest in person, and pray for betty

 

[Michie]

talk to your priest in person, and pray for betty

Praying for Betty?

Done.

I don't know if it warrants talking to the priest in person. I feel I've already made a stink. I've left messages. Nothing is ever returned.

I just wondered if I'm flipping out & turning this into something it isn't.

 

[Annabel Lee]

Praying for Betty?

Done.

I don't know if it warrants talking to the priest in person. I feel I've already made a stink. I've left messages. Nothing is ever returned.

I just wondered if I'm flipping out & turning this into something it isn't.

I don't think you're flipping out. You have every reason to be concerned for Betty.
Look at it this way, if Betty is sick the priest should go to visit her anyway.
I think you were right to be concerned.

 

[Izdaari Eristikon]

Yes, you're right to be concerned. I wonder what happened? Maybe you should have a talk with her, if you can get her to talk.

 

[BelindaP]

It sounds like she might be overmedicated or having a bad reaction to a new medication. It's worth talking to the medical professionals at the nursing home, too. I think you're doing the right thing. Think of how tragic it would be for her to pass without seeing a priest.

 

[MrJim]

Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing~someone needs to be flipping out (well a bit anyhow) to ensure Betty gets care

 

[vatuck]

Yea. My grandma said some really nutty things when she was close to the end of her life. She was a Christian, but sometimes you would just shake your head at the stuff she said. She needs some love from her church. You are doing a good thing.

 

[Michie]

I've already talked to the health professionals. They think her system might be shhutting down. She is barely responsive. If Betty speaks it's very difficult to understand.

She seems to be the same today.

Will go out again tomorrow.

Maybe it was just an unfortunate coincidence. I'm trying to remain calm & fair in this. It was just the circumstances that really threw me. My imagination went on overdrive I suppose.

 

[Criada]

Am praying for Betty - and for you.
Compassion is never, ever wrong.
God bless you.

 

[Michie]

Well... Betty is not talking at all anymore. I keep hoping for a miracle. I went I talked to her for a bit but she can't talk. As I spoke, her eyes moved around (Like REM sleep) so I think she might have heard me. Her lips quivered a bit. She was cold in the beginning. She's awfully clammy/sweaty now. I'm not sure she'll pull out of this. It's in God's Hands. Prayers appreciated.

 

[Criada]

Praying!

 

[Izdaari Eristikon]

Praying for Betty and for you.




Let's all do all that.

 

[edie19]

Praying for both you and Betty.

 

[Catherineanne]

Am I disturbed or upset? I'm something...I dunno. Should I be?

The head priest stopped me & informed me that Betty, one of the people I see has been heard to be gossiping.

Imo, it is not the function of a priest to defame a member of his congregation in this way. If he thinks it is true, he should speak gently to the lady concerned, not to anyone who happens to be passing. No offence to you, M, but he is out of order.

Anyway, my priest said he discussed it with nursing staff & they said they would try to curb her from it if they heard her doing it.

to this priest. Shame on him!

Found our assistant priest there praying & I asked to speak with him. I basically told him my feelings. Told him that normally, I would not be so upset but since that conversation lastweek I was afraid that she was losing her spirit. I mean, if she can't just be herself & if people were curbing her conversation... you know? Especially older sick people.

So now I feel bad. I feel bad that maybe the priests & deacon feel I'm accusing them. I'm not really & I don't know what they heard. She is not well & maybe the timing of all this happening was just a coincidence. I worry about what they think. I imagine scenerios of Betty trying to joke & nurses quelling her so she just gives up. I dunno. But I'm uncomfortable with how I feel & everything else I mentioned.

Am I overreacting?

Am I letting my imagination run wild?

I do not think you are overreacting. I think you are behaving with love and compassion towards a vulnerable old lady, who is probably very lonely and feeling very rejected, if even half of this stuff has been said to her. I think the behaviour of your priests is a disgrace, and I would say so even if they were reading this.

Poor lady! I am so pleased she has one person who can see her for who she is, and can see past the words to the lonely lady behind them.

 

[Catherineanne]

Well... Betty is not talking at all anymore. I keep hoping for a miracle. I went I talked to her for a bit but she can't talk. As I spoke, her eyes moved around (Like REM sleep) so I think she might have heard me. Her lips quivered a bit. She was cold in the beginning. She's awfully clammy/sweaty now. I'm not sure she'll pull out of this. It's in God's Hands. Prayers appreciated.

Kyrie eleison,
Christe eleison,
Kyrie eleison.

 

[Catherineanne]

I don't know if it warrants talking to the priest in person. I feel I've already made a stink. I've left messages. Nothing is ever returned.

I just wondered if I'm flipping out & turning this into something it isn't.

Made a stink? Hardly.

Making a stink would be contacting the Bishop. Which is what I would now do, in your place.

However, you are a sensitive soul, and you might prefer first of to all leave another message for your priest, saying, please return my call or I will be writing to the Bishop to tell him that you are ignoring me and my concerns, and to tell him what I have heard you say about Betty.

We are all of us under authority. Your priest, on the other hand, is behaving as if he is God, and that is what stinks, if anything does.

 

[Michie]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm taking it all under consideration.

You know what the big question is?

Who said anything at all to the priest about Betty? I'd like to know. Because I'm basically her only visitor besides one other person.

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, I have absolutely no idea what was said. So I'm really trying to think the best of everyone.

I did not go out today but I'm getting ready to call & see what Betty's condition is. I was so wound up I felt I just needed to go to Church today & not go out till tomorrow.

Thanks for listening everyone. I do question myself a lot. It helps to be able to bounce things off others willing to listen.

I'll keep you updated.

Thanks again.

 

[Michie]

Ok, called. Still not doing well. Not responsive. I don't know what else to do besides hold her hand & read her some Scripture tomorrow. I'm not even sure if she'll know.

 

[ZuZu]

she'll know....