i need to appreciate sobriety

[healy]

i just don't think i get it yet. not a real good week with me but this is all about how much i just don't appreciate what i do have in my life,but i am so trying.

 

[madison1101]

Boy, do I relate to this so much. I have to keep it really green for myself. I have to remember what I did while drunk, and how I jeopardized my emotional health, and could have done so much worse. I like going to AA meetings where we talk about the first step, so I can not only remember my bottom, but hear about others' bottoms, especially the DUIs and the court ordered treatment.

I need to pray for an attitude of gratitude. Then, I make a gratitude list.

Trish

 

[BobW188]

Yeah, sobriety can be hard to like, especially in those early days. It takes time to get steady on your legs when you give up a crutch, you start having to make changes when you thought all you had to do was stop drinking, the stuff is being pushed on you everywhere: TV, radio, magazines, friends. That's one reason we push AA and Celebrate Recovery here, at meetings you're among people who've made it past where you are now.
It's worth it, gal. You'll get there; and you'll like yourself.

 

[TheMainException]

what do you appreciate about being sober? Give a list of reasons...think about what makes life good...you might have to think really hard about this...but come up with reasons...and if you can't find a lot...you'll have to begin creating good stuff...

 

[Your Friend Adam]

i just don't think i get it yet. not a real good week with me but this is all about how much i just don't appreciate what i do have in my life,but i am so trying.

How many AA meetings/week are you attending?

 

[BlessEwe]

When your mind goes back and replays the time of our drinking/drugging, go from the begining/and straight to the last time you used ( where the using got you in the end).

Always remember the last time you used, don't let your mind wander and romance how good it felt/or was. This can be a big relapse trigger, and we can talk ourself into it so fast.

Our minds are obsessive and being new in recovery we do not have the strong tools and time, even people with many years can not romance the drugs.

Google promises of substance abuse recovery, go to a meeting and find the Graditude being thankful that you are not dead from using, knowing if you pick it up again you may not ever make it back. That is how serious this disease is!

 

[healy]

I'm not going to my meetings,they make me so depressed as I see myself in others and it makes me sick inside. I have the worst time on weekends. I'm working tonight until 8 pm and then all it takes is my 2 friends to drive by and pick me up to go partying. Am I weak? I am! I hate this about myself. I need to brush them off but can't. I hate being alone. I lost my brother not too long ago so when I go home it's time to start reflecting on him,and I am still not okay with God taking him.
Thanks for being on this board,everyone. I read this all. I just don't act on it.

 

[healy]

what do you appreciate about being sober? Give a list of reasons...think about what makes life good...you might have to think really hard about this...but come up with reasons...and if you can't find a lot...you'll have to begin creating good stuff...

all i can think of is that i don't get into trouble & can walk and talk straight..

 

[madison1101]

I'm not going to my meetings,they make me so depressed as I see myself in others and it makes me sick inside. I have the worst time on weekends. I'm working tonight until 8 pm and then all it takes is my 2 friends to drive by and pick me up to go partying. Am I weak? I am! I hate this about myself. I need to brush them off but can't. I hate being alone. I lost my brother not too long ago so when I go home it's time to start reflecting on him,and I am still not okay with God taking him.
Thanks for being on this board,everyone. I read this all. I just don't act on it.

Working with a sponsor, start a fourth step, and you can put the wreckage of your past behind you and stop feeling guilty.

Attend AA meetings over the weekend and see if any of the women want to go out for coffee afterward. My sponsor sometimes goes out for pizza with friends after a meeting.

I lost both of my brothers within a 14 month period of each other, young in my perspective. I pray and read Psalm 139 to deal with the grief.

Of course you are weak. We all are. The first step says "WE admitted we are powerless over alcohol..." If we could stop on our own, we would have. We all need the 12 steps and the fellowship of AA. We can't do sobriety without God. Paul in 2 Corinthians, said that he can't deal with the thorn, but that God's grace is sufficient to help him deal with it.

You are not alone in your weakness. God is there with you, BUT, you have to do some footwork to LET Him do the hard part. Our part is to trust and obey. His job is to give us the grace and strength.

PM me if you would like and I will send you my private e-mail address.

Trish

 

[Autumnleaf]

Go to meetings. Call other AA people when you want to drink. Alone you are weak to alcohol. With others and God as you understand God to be you get power.

 

[BlessEwe]

Working with a sponsor, start a fourth step, and you can put the wreckage of your past behind you and stop feeling guilty.

Attend AA meetings over the weekend and see if any of the women want to go out for coffee afterward. My sponsor sometimes goes out for pizza with friends after a meeting.

I lost both of my brothers within a 14 month period of each other, young in my perspective. I pray and read Psalm 139 to deal with the grief.

Of course you are weak. We all are. The first step says "WE admitted we are powerless over alcohol..." If we could stop on our own, we would have. We all need the 12 steps and the fellowship of AA. We can't do sobriety without God. Paul in 2 Corinthians, said that he can't deal with the thorn, but that God's grace is sufficient to help him deal with it.

You are not alone in your weakness. God is there with you, BUT, you have to do some footwork to LET Him do the hard part. Our part is to trust and obey. His job is to give us the grace and strength.

PM me if you would like and I will send you my private e-mail address.

Trish

Very well said, both Autumnleaf and Madison!

I would also like to add that even though I am working in the recovery field, I need to go to meetings for my own support network.

It is like maintenance, going even if we feel we are doing well. This way when things get very hard ( which in life this is for sure) we have people who know us (strengths and weaknesses).

By not making your walk with God and recovery first in your everyday life, Temptation hits and you don't have a leg to stand on, so most times we fail.

This is why relapse happens when our using friends come along. A big reason we should try to avoid these situations

This is not done by Will Power, and White knuckling it because our brains changed with the addiction in our subconscious. We can relapse so fast because the survival part of our brain ( subsconious) thinks this is what we need now to survive.

Talking, writting, reading, support groups ect. will help in the counscious part of the brain and keep us from relapse if we have a strong foundation. The harder we work on our sobriety, the stronger the foundation.

I find this all so fascinating to me, the complexity of the brain. You may not think so So take what you need and leave te rest...lol

God Bless you !

 

[healy]

You guys,I don't like or understand the people in my meetings. They aren't like me. I feel alien there. I think I'll log off. I need to find something to do other than read and write about my problems.

 

[madison1101]

You guys,I don't like or understand the people in my meetings. They aren't like me. I feel alien there. I think I'll log off. I need to find something to do other than read and write about my problems.

Boy, can I relate to what you said here. I definitely could not stand the people in the meetings. Nor, were they like me. Or so I thought. I thought I was so much better than the people in the meetings. I was a Christian. I was educated and studying counseling. I became a psychotherapist at one point.

I had to learn a few things, and it took me years in AA to learn it. I don't go to AA to make friends. I go to AA to learn how to get sober. I don't go to AA to feel good. I go to find out how to work the 12 steps.

I did not understand a lot of what people said at the meetings. I was told early on to listen for the similarities in my drinking and feelings and the person speaking.

If you want to quit drinking and stay quit, you will do what I am doing. I go to meetings to learn how to work the steps. I talk to my sponsor for specific instructions on working the steps. I pray and ask God to give me the willingness to not drink in the morning and thank Him at night.

That is what my sponsor has me doing, and she did the same to get and stay quit. She has over 16 years since her last drink. She stayed sober through a year where her husband was killed at work, when she was in her 40s, her mother died, and her sister died. She stayed sober through a mental breakdown that had her hospitalized.

Hang in there. Most people who come to AA hate it at first.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[BlessEwe]

Very Well Said Madison!

Perhaps try celebrate recovery, or look for a meeting with younger people, try a womens only group. It is a safe place especially when you are in a tempted to use mode.

Most do not walk into the AA or sober rooms and love it right away. It is finding the group or meeting type that works for you, the important thing is finding a support network.

 

[BobW188]

Follow Bless Ewe's advice and broaden out, Healy. AA meetings are like guys: all over the place, but finding the right one takes time.
Even where you are, though, I think you're overlooking one thing: these guys and gals not only know how to stay sober, they know how to build a happy life while doing so.
Are you sure it's the people you don't like? Or what they're saying. We don't like to be told to do things we don't want to do; but sometimes we'd better! A winner doesn't have to be your friend to be worth following. In the meantime, keep coming back! We want to hear from you, good news or bad.

 

[madison1101]

Follow Bless Ewe's advice and broaden out, Healy. AA meetings are like guys: all over the place, but finding the right one takes time.
Even where you are, though, I think you're overlooking one thing: these guys and gals not only know how to stay sober, they know how to build a happy life while doing so.
Are you sure it's the people you don't like? Or what they're saying. We don't like to be told to do things we don't want to do; but sometimes we'd better! A winner doesn't have to be your friend to be worth following. In the meantime, keep coming back! We want to hear from you, good news or bad.

I remember back in the beginning, I did not like anything about the people in AA. I was very separatistic in my Christianity, and struggled to see the people in AA of any use to me. God had to beat me down and humble me in order to get through my thick head that I needed them. In the beginning it did not matter what they said, or how they looked. They were not "Christians" and they talked rough, and spoke harshly, and some were just plain nasty. BUT, they had something I did not have-the understanding of how to stop drinking and how to get to the point where alcohol was not the first thing on their mind in the morning, noon or night.

It took many years, and relapse after relapse for God to humble me like the Prodigal son, to get to the point where I did not care who or what the person did or did not do. They helped me stop this time, and I am so grateful.

Now, I see the people in and out of AA through a different lens, and God has been blessing me day after day.

Trish