I need some help, I feel hated by God:(

[Eric29]

Hello guys I have ocd and have been dealing with it for the last couple of years and man God is nowhere to be found in my life. I pray try to read the bible and go to church and try to be a good person and live a christian life style but anymore I have been dealing with severe doubt with being saved and being loved and accepted by God no matter how much people tell me he loves me. I have gotten in a really bad slump the last couple of days and have just treated everyone around me just like crap and it does not even bother me that much at this point and time and I sinned against God and it does not really hurt me . I am so cold hearted right now its not funny. I am just burned out cause I don't know what to do anymore. I pray and pray and ask God for assurance and want to experience it just like other people have and I get nothing period wich makes me feel rejected and abadoned and unloved by God and that hurts really bad inside and I just can not shake it off anymore. I am worried ov going to hell the unforgivible sin and I have delt with addictions in life and everytime I see scriptures and hear sermons about getting right with god and not worrying and thats sin etc it just kills me. I am not perfect and I keep having plauges of thoughts all day long about cursing God and flipping him off and these urges seem so darn real anymore I wonder if I really do hate him. I just don't know what to do I just get mad at times and tell him to just leave me along and I can not take it anymore and I can not talk to loved ones about stuff cause they think they understand but they don't have what I have. We all suffer here and where is God when we ask for him and he will not help give us assurance or give us peace. Thats how its for me anyways. I have asked to many times to be saved but man I don't feel saved and sure as heck don't have the witness inside me and the evidence that I am so I am still Gods enemy at this point. Please pray for me I don't know what else to do in life anymore. I have prayed for too many times and read the bible to where my eyes are blurred and nothing works anymore to help me. I talke to friends and a counsler at church and nothing is helping me anymore. I have been delt with a hand in life that I feel worthless and unaccepted by God and having bad thoughts about him everyday does not help you feel loved or that you do love him if you get it. Well take care guys and gals and god bless you with something. I know I need it but I will be lucky if he ever does.

Eric

 

[mbrob]

Hello guys I have ocd and have been dealing with it for the last couple of years and man God is nowhere to be found in my life. I pray try to read the bible and go to church and try to be a good person and live a christian life style but anymore I have been dealing with severe doubt with being saved and being loved and accepted by God no matter how much people tell me he loves me. I have gotten in a really bad slump the last couple of days and have just treated everyone around me just like crap and it does not even bother me that much at this point and time and I sinned against God and it does not really hurt me . I am so cold hearted right now its not funny. I am just burned out cause I don't know what to do anymore. I pray and pray and ask God for assurance and want to experience it just like other people have and I get nothing period wich makes me feel rejected and abadoned and unloved by God and that hurts really bad inside and I just can not shake it off anymore. I am worried ov going to hell the unforgivible sin and I have delt with addictions in life and everytime I see scriptures and hear sermons about getting right with god and not worrying and thats sin etc it just kills me. I am not perfect and I keep having plauges of thoughts all day long about cursing God and flipping him off and these urges seem so darn real anymore I wonder if I really do hate him. I just don't know what to do I just get mad at times and tell him to just leave me along and I can not take it anymore and I can not talk to loved ones about stuff cause they think they understand but they don't have what I have. We all suffer here and where is God when we ask for him and he will not help give us assurance or give us peace. Thats how its for me anyways. I have asked to many times to be saved but man I don't feel saved and sure as heck don't have the witness inside me and the evidence that I am so I am still Gods enemy at this point. Please pray for me I don't know what else to do in life anymore. I have prayed for too many times and read the bible to where my eyes are blurred and nothing works anymore to help me. I talke to friends and a counsler at church and nothing is helping me anymore. I have been delt with a hand in life that I feel worthless and unaccepted by God and having bad thoughts about him everyday does not help you feel loved or that you do love him if you get it. Well take care guys and gals and god bless you with something. I know I need it but I will be lucky if he ever does.

Eric

It sounds like you are in the throws of OCD, and I have been there. I think the fact that you are seeking help from your brothers and sisters in Christ here on the website speaks volumes about where your heart really is. If you really did not want to belong to God, you would be on your blind path and certainly not on a Christian Forum. It sounds like OCD symptoms, and I have had and do have many of the ones you describe. Are you undergoing medical help for your OCD? If you have not already, I would highly recommend you see a physician as a first step. God Bless!

"If our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart and knows all things." 1 John 3:20

Marc

 

[StTherese]

It is when we feel that God is no where to be found that he is so very close to us. God allows us to go through trials, physically, emotionally, and spiritually to bring us closer to Him.
I know what you are going through, I am currently experiencing some of the same problems and it is very hard. One thing I have to remind myself is that our thoughts do not define us. Just because we may think something (good or bad) does not mean we accept it. It is within us to choose to agree or disagree with our thoughts...hence the struggle.
It is through such trials that with perserverence we can be drawn closer to our Maker. The fact that you disagree with your thoughts and that there is even a struggle against them shows that you truly love God. We will ALL continue to suffer (in one way or another) as a result of sin in this life. To live without suffering is to miss the point. This life will soon pass away, it is not a permanent situation. Sin brought suffering into the world. With the cross of Christ, suffering has overcome sin...but we must accept His Cross.

 

[Casstranquility]

I am worried ov going to hell the unforgivible sin and I have delt with addictions in life and everytime I see scriptures and hear sermons about getting right with god and not worrying and thats sin etc it just kills me.

I remember when I was younger and I heard about the unforgivable sin. I always worried about it because somehow I would find myself trying to curse the Holy Spirit. And then I would have to pray that God strike me down right then and there if I was going to go to hell then He might as well destroy me and get it over with. But, He never did. God understands our illnesses. God's not judging you for your 'sins'. If people remind you of your sins, it is only because they have not suffered as you have, and they do not know what they are saying. God understands you perfectly. God isn't expecting you to be perfect.
I worry all the time. I had a friend tell me that worry was a sin, and I wondered why. What use does it do to tell a person who is worrying that that is a sin if that person will worry about worrying?! It's not helpful. But, I don't worry about worrying. I don't worry much about sinning because God uses everything in our life for good. He can't fail at that because He is good.
I don't know what to say to help you feel God's love, because it took me a long time to feel it, and I still have difficulties. But, I'll pray for you.

 

[StTherese]

I remember when I was younger and I heard about the unforgivable sin. I always worried about it because somehow I would find myself trying to curse the Holy Spirit. And then I would have to pray that God strike me down right then and there if I was going to go to hell then He might as well destroy me and get it over with. But, He never did. God understands our illnesses. God's not judging you for your 'sins'. If people remind you of your sins, it is only because they have not suffered as you have, and they do not know what they are saying. God understands you perfectly. God isn't expecting you to be perfect.
I worry all the time. I had a friend tell me that worry was a sin, and I wondered why. What use does it do to tell a person who is worrying that that is a sin if that person will worry about worrying?! It's not helpful. But, I don't worry about worrying. I don't worry much about sinning because God uses everything in our life for good. He can't fail at that because He is good.
I don't know what to say to help you feel God's love, because it took me a long time to feel it, and I still have difficulties. But, I'll pray for you.

So are you saying that God does not judge us by our sins?

 

[Casstranquility]

So are you saying that God does not judge us by our sins?

I am saying that most of the 'judging' comes from humans. God knows who we are, what we are capable of. God does not judge us by sins we have no control over, which aren't called sins anyway.
God forgives us by our sins.

 

[StTherese]

I am saying that most of the 'judging' comes from humans. God knows who we are, what we are capable of. God does not judge us by sins we have no control over, which aren't called sins anyway.
God forgives us by our sins.

I will have to agree with you that many people judge harshly...they seem to forget that we are ALL sinners and fall short of the glory of God. But in God's goodness, he forgives us for our sins when we truly repent and turn to Him.
I think that obsessive thoughts are usually very unintentional and unwanted...therefore, they would not be considered a sin, and therefore would not need to be forgiven.
It is our intentional thoughts, actions, desires that we are held accountable for since we have chosen them. When these are not in line with the Will of God, then it is sin.